OK...I need some advice puuullleeezzz...

So, when my daughter was in the 10th grade we got her Dixie (a dauhsand), but Dixie is just all of our babies...mostly my daughters, but also alot of mine! So when she left for college, we all felt that b/c Dixie was so settled with us, that uprooting her would be traumatic not only on her, but I had to admit on us too. Losing my daughter at that time was traumatic enough...I don't think we could have let go of Dixie at the same time!!!

So this past spring we decided to get another dauschand...a dapple girl Abby...in hopes she would have puppies, for we love having a family of dauschands and my daughter could take one and raise her from puppy stages to have as her very own when she got out of college. But Abby is the craziest most rebellious dog we have ever had. We finally had to move her with the outside dogs...into the outside mansion we've built for them as we call it! I love her and want to keep going until she works out of this stage...but my husband has had enough. He has had to replace a ton of flowers, boxes, fence and when she started on the door frame outside that did him in. Not to mention that she will not do her business out in the yard...she does it on the concrete at the bottom of the steps. No matter what tricks we try to stop the "business" issues or things we buy to help with chewing/teething...she still does the same things. So he is ready to get rid of her.

SOOOOOOOOOOO...here is my question. I say that we should let my daughter have her. She has mentioned taking her and trying to crate train her. Personally I'm not certain how I feel about crate training, but I've read that the dog feels safe and secure there. I worry that Abby has run free and plays in the yard and now she will be confined to a small apartment and mostly to a crate throughout the day b/c Kayla is in school alot, has study groups and is working now almost 5 days a week (of which I am extremely grateful!)

My husband thinks we should see past my daughter's desires and be the bigger person and not let her have Abby b/c it will be too much on her and not fair to Abby either. All I can think of is how much she has wanted her Dixie and we kept Dixie from her and now we are considering giving Abby away to complete strangers....

I don't know....please help me see some light!

Sounds like you got spoiled with an easy doxie and now are faced with a more common temperment. Same thing happened here with our Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. The first one was sweet and calm and lured us into getting her younger sister (same parents/two litters later) who's supercharged.

From the Dachshund FAQ:

Quote:

Dachshunds are very intelligent dogs. They learn fast, but mostly when it suits their purposes. This is where their stubbornness shows itself most clearly, making some a bit of a challenge to train. Although they absolutely can learn, they definitely have their own agenda, which may or may not coincide with yours. With proper motivation (treats!) they can be trained. They are also very clever in ways you'd never expect. It is not impossible to show a Dachshund in the obedience ring, but it's definitely not the most common dog for this purpose. Like housebreaking, consistence and patience goes a long way

To be honest with you, my immediate reaction would be to give Dixie to your daughter and focus on the new dog. But if your daughter is willing to take Abby, then let her. Abby's still a young dog so crate training her may be just what she needs to calm her down and get her agenda to match Kayla's. Remember what Ceasar says. Dogs live in the here and now. Abby won't yearn for running free just because she has in the past. She might, however, be the kind of dog that really needs one-on-one attention to reach her full potential so let Kayla give it a shot. She sounds like a very responsible young lady.

I think I am with hubby here.

As responsible as she may be, she is in college and that means ever changing schedules and focuses. Not the time nor place to be training a tempermental puppy, IMO.

Any chance she can have Dixie, and you focus your energies on Abby?

Thanks Truff! great advice...never heard the Ceasar part before! and thanks for the compliment on Kayla! I have been blessed.

I've told Don 100 times over we should let Dixie go...but he will not hear of it! It's a fight I can't win and our other 2 dauschands are way too old to move.

I totally 100% agree with your assessment...I think Abby needs one on one attention!!!! I think that is what she misses! She is a precious puppy...I don't want to give her to strangers! She is only the 2nd dauschand we have ever had to be this rebellious. And you are right again...we've been spoiled by our last 3!!!

JJ....as you know from me in here...I'm not much of a fighter I mean...I WILL fight when I need to or pushed into a corner...but I don't know if I can fight with my husband over this issue...you know what I mean??? There are so many other things......??? He is adamant about Dixie not going and Abby will NOT as he put it come back into the house. He said she has burned her bridges.....

I understand that... I was trying to not go to the send Abby to a new home route as I knew you were trying to avoid that as well.

I am just reflecting back to my college days not that long ago, and how quickly work and class and study (and entertainment ) schdules change so quickly.

By no means am I trying to make a statement about your daughter's abilities, but just putting myself back in those shoes... between claases and 2-3 jobs at a time, I dunno that I could have given a pup a proper training they would have needed, and I would have had rommies to help!

I am thinking about the pup here, and what is in their best interest in the long run.

kt, is Kayla a party girl? Only you know how much time she could or would spend at home. Having rescued a dog recently, I can tell you that dogs can adapt to any loving situation if they're given time and patience.

I'm a big Ceasar the Dog Whisperer fan and he advocates 'exercise, discipline and love' in that order to train dogs. Thankfully, doxies don't need hours of exercise the way a big dog would. Kayle should be able to get a walk or two a day in with Abby, shouldn't she? With treats stuffed in her pocket, she could work Abby on heeling, sitting, etc, on the walk too.

She could start by crating Abby for shorter periods and then use baby gates to keep her in a smaller area (kitchen) with her crate available to go in and out of. If the walks become somewhat routine in timing, Abby should adapt and look forward to outings.

Kayla may be looking for the companionship that having Abby will give her. I had an animal with me all through college, even when I snuck them into the dorm, so I can relate to her desire for one too. My money's on her to figure out how to make it work without causing the dog any distress. It's worth a try at the very least.

Oh, but I'd definitely neuter Abby before giving her to Kayla. That'll help calm her down and the last thing Kayla needs is to deal with heat cycles.

Of course, this is all just my opinion....

oh I know you are!!! Thanks so much!!! I am thinking about that EXACT same thing too! She has 5 classes, study groups and work... (no time for entertainment LOL) so...like you just said...don't know that she could handle more pressure and in such a confined space too

Truff....We've never had our doggies nuetered except when needed for medical reasons.....we've just mostly seperated them when they were in heat. I've heard that theory in cats, but never thought about it in doggies....and you are so right about those cycles.... blleeehhh

Ohhhhhhhhh KT ~ you're such a good lady!
Here's my point: Dixie should stay with you. Abby should go to someone who can train her and work with her a lot. You can find her a good home.
Kayla is going to college, working and she needs her time too. Crate training Abby could be done but is that fair to Abby and to your daughter. Your daughter I take it wants a doggy really bad but she is very busy with college and work- you just do not find time to take care of a dog in those hours. No matter what Kayla thinks she could do she is busy.

Abby deserves more than staying in a crate and Kayla deserves the tiny bit of time she has when she is not working, going to college or studying.
Hugs to you!

ok, I was a fine arts major and spent hours in studios working, etc. I even kept one animal in a dorm room, not the apartment Kayla has. None of my pets suffered. Throw in all the extra attention they got from pet-starved classmates and they actually thrived. I'm sure Kayla has friends who would love to help her out with Abby if need be. Come on, kt, give your smart daughter and the little dog a chance. It's either that or some stranger gets Abby, right?

Seriously you don't neuter your dogs, kt? omg, that's the first thing we do with all our animals for three reasons: 1)it's proven to be healthier for them; 2)no oops litters; and 3)it definitely calms down both males and females. Bob Barker was right when he said to get your dog or cat spayed or neutered!

imho, there's a huge difference between crate training and leaving a dog in a crate all day because you're too busy to deal with it.

My dogs are crate trained. All that means is they go into one willingly. In fact, our crates are all stacked on the shelf in the garage right now and only come out for trips or if a dog is sick and wants the safe harbor the crate gives them. We use baby gates to keep the dogs in a specific area if we need to for their safety like when the workmen were in and out putting in new windows last week.

I don't think any harm will come from letting Kayla have a shot at this. In fact, it could be a huge life lesson for her. Why not give her next semester to try it? If it doesn't work, have her help you find Abby a new home next summer when people are most likely to take on a dog anyway. Abby's not a cute puppy anymore so finding her a home now or six months from now isn't going to make that much difference.

These. Also in my experience a bored doxie can turn into a destructive doxie very, very quickly. It's not a dog I'd want at that point in my life unless I knew double-sure that the dog was a cool customer. Sounds like Dixie might just be the cool customer your daughter would appreciate as a student.

Don't send the dog to your daughter--she has plenty of other things to focus on besides a toubling dog.

Why don't you and the hubby try to crate train her? It will take some time and effort to do it since she is clearly not used to it, btu in the end, it's a really good thing to have taught her. Just don't get her too big a crate that she can go to the bathroom in one part and then just hang out in the other part. Especially since you will be using it as a training tool, make it just big enough that she can stand up and turn around in it.

I have to agree with pjs on this one.

College/homework/job/social life - doesn't sound like there's much time for a dog who needs extra attention. Most of those activites, at this point in your daughter's life, need to come before a needy dog. Once she gets this behind her there will be plenty of time for pets.

I think crating is fine, but not when its an all day every thing. A brief walk twice a day doesn't sound like much of an exsistence.

Just my opinion though.

FWIW, while I agree with Truff that crate training is not the same as crating the dog all day when someone is gone, it doesn't seem like keeping a dog in College is a good idea. You know your daughter best KT but I don't know how with everything she has on her plate she could give the little one the time and love it deserves. JMHO

Yeah, crate training can be used to train a dog good behaviors...Puka is crate trained, btu she's hardly ever in her crate. It's especially useful for potty training.

I was a college student when I got my first dog that was all my responsibility. I was in my 3rd out of 5 years of school. Although I would not have traded the experience, I would also not recommend it. Looking for housing was harder and more expensive, finding roommates was harder, and even choosing a class schedule was harder because I had to consider my 5 day a week job AND my dog.
He is also full of energy, a red heeler. Although I consider myself a HUGE dog lover, I sometimes wish I would have waited to get my own. I wasn't a huge partier, but when I did go out, I always knew that I had to find some way to get back home so that I could let my dog out and make sure he got enough attention. At the same time, my friends with cats had no worries about getting home to let their pet out. It sounds easy to say I can just take a taxi home or run home between classes, but it isn't always that simple. It adds a responsibility that can be stressful for a college student working full time.

But on the plus side of it, I always felt safer when I was home alone and after a tough day of school or work and being homesick there was ALWAYS a dog at home who couldn't wait to see me!

I thank you ALL so much for your honest answers! Every single one of you have given me so much to think about...not which I haven't tossed so many of these ideas back and forth several times anyways.

I have thought about us trying the crate training...

well....I'm going to try and put my convincing cap on again to the ole hubby...you guys have give me some good ammunition. If not then I'm not certain what I will do...just pray and I guess I'll know the "for certain" answer when I know it huh!

THANKS AGAIN so much everybody for everything!

I'll second Truff's encouragement on spay/neuter. It can make a WORLD of difference on settleing them down AND is proven to be heathier (no ovarian cancer, etc.)

Crate training is a good thing...so many feel it is punishment. Done properly, the crate becomes a welcome refuge to a dog. Done AS punishment...probably not. I do think it would be better done with you, however, than your in-school working daughter...that really would put a strain on the dog's bladder, I'm afraid. Obviously, a mature (not old) dog can hold it 8 hours, and if you have the place to let them romp and play after hours, it's not so bad (and usually short-term until they "grow-up" some)...but, to me, it's not the best of things either...not for such terribly long periods of time. Best of luck in your efforts, whatever you do!

We 'acquired' (long story) a new puppy over the weekend (a 6 mth old white German Shepherd), and I was very glad that we had crate trained our existing heeler mix. She's a 'mature adult' now, and doesn't completely love the puppy just yet. She goes in the crate when she needs her alone time.

I'm reading this and thinking "it's a dog, you are way too worked up." Obedience school...or give her to the daughter. (yes, I've had more dogs, cats, and rabbits than I can count)

Unfortunatly Happy...that is how I guess I am...I get worked up ALWAYS wanting the BEST for everybody involved...nor do I have the money for obedience school. It's just nice getting opinions from others on their experiences....it helps to hopefully make good, well informed decisions.

Thank you all for your advice! I am actually really proud of my daughter. I discussed it with her a little this weekend, but she said as much as she would love to take Abby, it just wouldn't be a good idea b/c of her school/work schedule. I feel better b/c mainly I didn't want to hurt her in any way by doing what my husband wanted to do and that was just make the decision and never discuss the options with her at all. I wanted to include her in on the decision like an adult, b/c these pets are family. Like I said above, I just feel better that whatever decision is made now, I feel like nobody will get hurt in the process.

I like the idea of nuetering and have bought several things that have helped a little with the chewing. It is my strong desire to keep Abby and find a way to help make it through this stage.

THANKS AGAIN everybody!!!