I am getting ready to send out my "Save the Date" cards for my wedding. I have the guest list done for the most part, our wedding is in June. The only problem I am having is how to handle invititations for co workers, I work at a smaller bank in a small town, but I can't invite everyone. I plan to mail all invitiations and not hand them out at work. But I still feel like it will be uncomfortable if it is brought up in conversation and some coworkers are invited while others aren't. Any tips on handling this?

I had the same issue when I got married. I decided to bite the bullet and invite them all in order to avoid hard feelings. I assumed (correctly) that not everyone would come.

Please, don't do that then there are those of us that feel we are obligated to come, or send a card/gift and we are not all that close and have no desire to do so.

It's your wedding, you or your family is paying for it, it's your day... include the people that you love and care for and that return the favor to you.

If some old hag from accounting that you could care less about is offended, that is her problem and not yours.

I agree with JJ!

^^^^
agree with JJ too.

Invite the ones that you really want to share your special day with.

The majority of those not invited will understand. Don't worry about the rest - they'll get over it. And you don't want those kind of people at your wedding, do you?

I only gave the people I'm close to at my bank invitations, I'm pretty much telling everyone else, "yeah my wedding is on the 26th, you can come if you want". I thankfully only have one person in my bank that I despise and she'll be on vacation. I figure the people that don't really want to come won't ask me if they can, and the people that feel obligated will just conveniently forget what date because I didn't put it on paper for them.

My wedding is December 26th, so I'll let you know how my plan turns out.

^^^^^^^^^^^^ made me feel bad that I couldn't come the day after Christmas..... and just 4 days before my birthday too!!!!

Weddings are expensive and it seems to me that they get smaller all of time because you have to keep the cost down somehow. People at work should (hopefully) understand that you can't possible invite everyone and the bulk of the attendees are family. If their feelings get hurt, then they'll have to deal with it.

With that said, when was that date again so I can mark my calendar?

Thanks everyone! It is nice to have you all comfirm what I was thinking too. MunQue - good idea about verbally telling people to come if they want also!

Just don't do what my co-worker did and let two of us throw showers for her and then not invite either of us to the wedding. That's really bad form. Not to mention, the bride never talked to me about changing her mind about inviting me after she told me to save the date. a-w-k-w-a-r-d, especially when a co-worker started talking to me about going.

My suggestion would be to not invite any of your co-workers but have a pre or post wedding party at your house. I got married away from home so most of my relatives weren't able to come. My parents threw a party for us a couple weeks later. I got married in December but you could do a bar-b-que or something easy. Tell people you just want them to share your joy but you have to watch your (or your parents') pennies at the reception. You could also say you don't want them to feel obligated to spend money on a present. Just a thought.

^^so smart!

Don't do what people in the South tend to do - Pass one invitation around work for everyone whether they've known them 2 minutes or 20 years. No offense to those who have done it, but to me it's an honor and a privalege to be invited to share in such a special event and should not be treated lightly. (Then again, there's the "more the merrier" attitude - it is a party after all - and there's nothing wrong with that either! ) Invitations should be for those who have truely touched your heart, people you feel close to and who will appreciate the meaning of the day to you and your spouse.

Of course then there's always the obligatory relatives, whom you have spoken to all of 3 times in your entire life that absolutely must come...

^^^^'xactly!

I invited everyone from the small branch that I worked at at that time and only invited a select few from the branch that worked at previously. I never heard any compliants from the other branch, but then again, I didn't work at that location anymore so they could have been dissing me without my knowledge. Really, it was my day so I could have cared less at that point.

Invite who you want to. It's your day and your buck.

I attended a wedding once where money was no object for the groom. We weren't actually invited to the wedding ceremoney - only a very small group attended that event. We were invited to the reception and man was it fun!

First, what you have to do is get access to HR files.

Find those employees earning the highest salary and invite them.

Whether you like them or not is irrelevant, you could cash in big time!







Or just take Jay's advice.

It's bad enough feeling obligated to participate in birthday celebrations or baby showers for people at the office. I would be uncomfortable getting a wedding invitation from a co-worker, unless I had a friendship with that person outside of work.

We have a very small office (22 employees), and I get invited ao every wedding, wedding shower, baby shower, birthday party, anniversary party, etc...and MAN do I get irritated. That being said, if I were to have a wedding right now, I would definitely feel obligated to invite everyone, because that's how everyone else has handled it the three years I've been here.

Kinda sucks, but it is what it is...

Not really. It is what it is until someone decides to do something to change it. Break out of the mold. Isn't that what weddings today are all about?

My daughter got married right after Christmas. Instead of one big wedding cake as expected, she used a square cake decorated like a present as the centerpiece on each table. Then she and her husband went to each table to cut the cake and visit and take pictures. Yea, it took an hour or more but everyone is still talking about it to this day.

Moral of the story, it's your day, do what you want. Respect the wishes of those paying the tab but stand up for yourself. Remember it's just one day. It doesn't define your marriage or the rest of your life. Enjoy it!

Don't invite anyone. Just update your Facebook status when you get to the altar!

I got engaged one week after I was assigned to manage a new branch and got married 6 months later. I was very close to my employees from my previous office and all of them were invited. I didn't invite anyone from my new office, although when they first asked me (3-4 months before the wedding) if I'll be inviting everyone, I said "I don't know yet, I'd like to but I have to figure it out". Nobody said anything after that. Then AFTER my wedding, my boss (a very cranky old lady VP) says to me "I would have thought you would invite me to your wedding" and few other employees made comments that I told them before they'd be invited, etc. WHATEVER. Like they actually cared. Please...

I hated all of them in that office anyway and I wasn't going to spend all that $ on people I couldn't stand to be around.

Truffle...what a wonderful idea with the individual cakes!!!!!

I think I forgot to mention that I am friends & family with some of my co-workers. I live in the town I grew up in, which has under 2000 people and our bank is one of the biggest employers in town. I think I will just invite who I am close with and hope the rest will understand. Thank you again everyone!

I don't care to attend weddings or funerals, both are sad occassions...