Our customer died on Sunday, his adult children called us Monday morning requesting access to the SDB; a personal rep has not yet been appointed and no death certificate has been issued. The kids are insistent about getting into the box, but we're concerned about allowing access without personal rep docs because we don't know who should be allowed access to view the contents. The decedent left a spouse; however, the kids didn't tell us about the spouse at first and claim she wants them to 'handle everything'. We asked which funeral home was taking care of their dad and they got very angry and didn't want to tell us(there hasn't been a notice in our local newspaper and I know we can't use either of these as proof of death, but we wanted to at least try and confirm his passing). This whole thing is weird. The wife came in with the kids, but has very poor English and the kids speak for her.The kids have become almost combative when we ask questions and we're concerned about giving access to review contents & remove allowed documents (will, burial docs) to the right person. HELP!

Every state is different, but I have copied this from our Texas State Probate code. I see that you are in Oklahoma and the laws may be different so you will want to check the state specific requirements.

36D. EXAMINATION OF DOCUMENT OR SAFE DEPOSIT BOX WITHOUT
COURT ORDER. (a) A person who possesses or controls a document
delivered by a decedent for safekeeping or who leases a safe deposit
box to a decedent may permit any of the following persons to examine
the document or the contents of the safe deposit box:
(1) the spouse of the decedent;
(2) a parent of the decedent;
(3) a descendant of the decedent who is at least 18 years
old; or
(4) a person named as executor of the decedent's estate in a
copy of a document that the person has and that appears to be a will
of the decedent.
(b) The examination shall be conducted in the presence of
the person who possesses or controls the document or who leases the
safe deposit box or, if the person is a corporation, an officer of
the corporation.

Added by Acts 1981, 67th Leg., 1st C.S., p. 193, ch. 17, art. 3, §
1, eff. Sept. 1, 1981.