Recieved this and thought it was hilarious. I can add a few to this from my own experience. Please add your own.

I have learned from personal experience that a toy metal tractor hurled full force across the room will draw blood.
An 8 year old boy would rather find out for himself rather than take your word for it that his tongue WILL stick to the dog kennel at sub zero temps......

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

>

> Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

>

> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4

inches deep.

> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with Roller

blades, they can ignite.

> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

restaurant.

> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong

enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman

cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint

on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When

using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit

by a ceiling fan.

> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already

too late.

> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a

36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

> 10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old

Boy.

> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

> 12.) Super glue is forever.

> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't

walk on water.

> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

> 15.) VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials

show they do.

> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not

like ovens.

> 20.) The fire department in La Mesa, CA has a 5-minute response time.

> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

dizzy.

> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

> 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

> 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or

without kids.

Thats funny!

From personal experience as a small child...

Despite everyone at the emergency room knowing him by name, and being quite aware that there is no child abuse going on in the home, visits to the emergency room for stitches after another failed attempt to leap from the dresser to the bed, while wearing a towel he stole from the Holiday Inn as a cape,become like field trips to the zoo in first grade. They do not work to prevent future attempts.

To a 2 year old who loves kitties, a skunk looks remarkably similar to a cute little black and white kitty, but it sure does smell different when he tries to pick it up and carry it in the house to see mommy while Daddy's back is turned and he is "safely" in the back yard.

A young male child, just like his father, is NEVER LOST, does not need directions, and the best way to find him when he has wandered off in a store is for mom to announce that she is lost and needs him to come up front and find her! Crying and searching for him frantically, or announcing to the staff that the child is lost and asking them to make an announcement for the store to bring the "lost" child up front wont work. He will immediately hide under clothing racks if this occurs! (Works with my nephew who is just like me too!)

That no matter what, and no matter how old they get...they never cease to amaze you.

just remembered another one.......(again, from personal experience). A toddler can drink a small bottle of cologne without poisoning himself. May seem a little tipsy, but the people that answer the poison control line say...nothing to worry about Who knew?

My kids have taught me to live for the moment because tomorrow will keep coming and when it does, your in the moment.

Crayons will also pass through the digestive track of children.

Grape Kool Aid, when consumed in enough quantity, will scare the bejeezus out of a parent when changing a dirty diaper.

Oh, probably Kitty Dukakis for one......

The Junebug is not quite to these adventurous ages yet - mostly right now what I'm learning is it is indeed possible to get tired of Winnie the Pooh et al, and just how many little things end up on the floor that you didn't realize were there.

Skittles....I can't imagine the horror...that is too funny!

Ex. Gov Babe.....are you watching The Big Comfy Couch yet? Now that one I never got sick of...through 2 kids!

Sometimes boxes are more fun than the toys that came in them !

Never say never!

Play time

Very Cool Good grief, there's a website for EVERYTHING!

We watched Bear in the Big Blue house just this morning and...we gave away Barney and Teletubbies just yesterday!!!!

Where would I begin with the "what have I learned?" My brother actually told me one day that I would not be able to sell the stories about my family even to a soap opera they are so unbelievable

Take two boys, fifteen months apart and stir. It has been an experience!

I would have to say that it is a must to travel at all times with steri-strips (butterfly bandages) and rubbing alcohol. If you rub the skin with the alcohol first, the strips stick much better!

Teletubbies are superior to Barney. I find them mind numbing in a relaxing sort of way.

Since having children I've learned:

Black crayon is the hardest color to remove from a painted wall.

Weeds look a lot like the tomato plants to a 14 month old trying to "help in the garden".

Mom does know best.

What I learned from having a little brother......when you don't like the color of the puppies (light brown), dipping them in a pail of motor oil is not recommended! (poor things)