Should These Robbers Consider a Career Change?

by John Burnett, Associate Editor

There are bank robbers who terrorize their victims, and robbers who take off with a lot of cash. But there are some bank robbers that are so hapless as to be comical, and they all probably wish they had stayed in bed instead of "going to work" for the day.

Take the case of the klutz who ripped off just under $1,400 from a Wachovia branch in New Jersey last month, but forgot a bag to carry his booty. Authorities say he lost about $1,200 of the loot, but held on to the long curly wig he sported during the heist.

An August Bank of America robber in metropolitan Miami, Florida, was a victim of bad timing. The perp demanded money from a teller while undercover police were in the branch serving a search warrant on another case. The teller alerted the police, who arrested the knife-wielding robber just outside the bank.

From Cleveland, Ohio, comes the story of a robber who insulted the wrong guy on his way out of the bank with over $5,000. James Matteson, a 70-year-old Navy veteran and retired bar owner, didn't take kindly to being told, "Get outa the way, old man." Matteson threw the thief against a wall and onto the floor, and a security guard and off-duty officer helped subdue the man. Matteson told reporters his wife scolded him for forgetting his age.

A Pittsburgh bank heist ended when two men in a coffee shop near the First Third Bank branch restrained the alleged robber. The 28-year old male robber was dressed as a woman, sporting a blond wig, green sunglasses, blouse, skirt, pantyhose and a purse. We wonder whether he could have made a clean getaway if he had worn "sensible shoes."

And finally, a report from Manteca, California, relates the tale of Christopher Peterson, who was nabbbed after being noticed at the Crossroads Grace Community Church by an alert church-goer who recognized him from a bank surveillance camera photo published in a local newspaper. Peterson was wearing the same T-shirt he allegedly wore to the bank heist. Maybe he will wear a shirt and tie to church next time?

First published on BankersOnline.com 9/14/05