Building the Count to 100,000

Lets tell Bank war stories. Every office has a resident kook for a customer. What is the kookiest things a customer has done.

Mine was "Mad May" who came in every day to say the pledge of allegiance and kiss the flag, Plus take a bath in the ladies room and take all the cookies.

Mine was a poor demented woman who was sure that we were stealing her social security data , and that was keeping her from finding a nice man to marry her!

When I was training behind the Teller line, we had a guy named "Dan" that came in everyday to exchange a dollar bill for 4 quarters. He was very polite but "not all of his candles were burning." Everyday I would ask him what he would do with the quarters and he'd say "I'm going to buy something for my mother." The other tellers told me he had been doing this for over 5 years.

One day, he came in with a bag of quarters and wanted $1 bills. Then he came back later the same day with a new bag of quarters and wanted $1 bills. He did this for 5 bags. We were able to oblige and no one wanted to tell him no. The next day he brought in a $1 bill and asked for 4 quarters!

The cycle started over I guess.

When I was working in a branch, we used to get a customer who called himself the paymaster. Every day he would come in and ask if everyone got paid and would scribble something on a piece of paper and hand it to the staff: He would say, "Here, take this, it's your pay check you fool and stop complaining, I am paying the other branch a lot less than what I am paying you!"

His name was Mr. McDonald - the paymaster.

We had a guy who set his house on fire. When the fire dept showed up, he was sitting on the lawn in his birthday suit.

Back in the day, we had a customer who would come in on Frdiay afternoon and "relieve" herself while standing at the teller window.

Needless to say, the "newest" teller always had her. (the rest of us had to go on break)

Happened about 4 times.....

HERself?

We had a kookie guy who was a few fries short of a happy meal if you know what I mean. He would make laps around our small town checking the coin slot of every vending machine and pay phone. He would be knocking on the door every social security day. He harassed everyone in town - the post office, the pharmacy, the bank.... Anyhow, he would receive a pension check that was mailed directly to the bank every 15th of the month. Well he ticked someone off at the post office and his check was mysteriously absent one month on the 15th. He came in to withdraw his money and we had to tell him his check did not come in. He planted himself in the lobby and complained to every customer we had that we had stole his money. If I recall correctly a female loan officer had to escort him from the building!

The lucky Operations Officer usually had the privilege of getting the mop. I guess that falls under "and all other duties assigned"

We have one lady that comes in during our holiday open house partially clothed and helps herself to cookies, cheese and crackers, etc. by dumping the whole tray into her large handbag. If you talk to her, she will start removing items of clothing. It's really, really quiet when she comes in these days.

If only the Chippendale guys would take her place.........

EVERYBODY TO THE GENERAL DISCUSSION FORUM FOR # 100,000!

Alien : Congrats ! you are The winner

The funniest kook that I remember is the old lady who tried to strike me with a purse that she had found in the lobby of the branch, when I asked her she knew who it belonged to, she said " I am not a thief, I didn't look inside, are you trying to accuse me, do I look like a thief?!!" and then she attempted to hit me with the "found" purse. Needless to say, I left the office, never to return. But, I am sure it was actually funny watching this poor old gal trying to pummel me...needless to say there are still others who would like to do so, eh Jac?

The guy who jumped on my desk and started quacking like a duck stands out.

The lady who wore a bathing suit top tied around her head was always interesting.

The insurance salesman who always went through my drivethru and offered to by me an icecream cone if I'd go out to lunch with him was definately a kook. I'm sure his wife thought so anyway, just before he shot her with a black power gun while hunting. (I never did get that ice cream and he quit coming in after the trial started).

The nutcase who came in throwing eggs. He was funny. they were egglands best eggs.

Gosh...which was the oddest? Heck I can't choose. Now i've got this nutcase sending me mysterious rice....

This guy wasn't a customer, just someone who would come into the office and wait in line ask where his money was and then quietly go out and get on the bus, but one day he came and wanted to go to Jamacia. One of the officers gently escorted him out of the office and put him on the bus and told him it was going to Jamacia.

Never saw him again.

Then there was the guy who used to come in to get his SSI checks and was really weird. He got arrested and called us on the 1st to tell us he couldn't come in that month and wanted us to bring his money down to the jail.

Who was 50,000?

Here's a good one, at my old bank, there was one poor loony woman who really was attached to me. She would come in with her husband, he would go to the tellers to do the banking,and she would come into my office and sit down in front of my desk. She would only say Hi, and then mumble about some stuff. I stopped in my old office the other day, and she was there and saw me. She then went into my old office and sat down. (The New Ops Mgr was outside talking to me).
The gang told me she thinks I still work there...

We have an old guy who comes in and tells us we all need to be dewormed and wants to sell us a magic de-worming potion. I think he may have taken to much of his magic potion!

In my former incarnation as a Personal Trust Officer, I was privileged to hear many tales aimed at procuring principal distributions from trust accounts. One client who came by her money in a nasty divorce settlement tried to balance creativity with believability, but she apparently didn't add very well. Her favorite story was that she needed money to defray the cost of a mastectomy. At last count, she had had at least FOUR breasts removed! I guess the pesky things just kept growing back...
Then there was the alcoholic lady in Florida who called up a couple of times a month in a drunken panic, needing money because her toes were falling off. She got really mad when I wouldn't write her a check, but on the rare days when I DID come off the cash, she always invited me to come stay at her house and watch the space shuttle take off. Apparently she lived on a prime piece of real estate directly next to the launch pad...