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#1022466 - 08/18/08 09:50 PM Prayers for the "College" mom?
KTMiteComply Offline
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Hey Guys,
From some of the posts on here I know many of you have dealt with the "trauma" (I use that word loosly) of your child going away to college!!!! I am suffering greatly and we don't load up to leave until FRIDAY!!!! YIKES!!! And the bad thing is I'm going crazy and she will only be about 2 hours away! After reading some of your blogs on here about your kids going away on mission trips across the world and you guys surviving it...then I know I will too...with the help of the Lord!!!! My daughter and I have always done everything together. She has always been a homebody (I've tried to push her out to do things with friends) and hasn't done anything but year round soccer, school & church, so we are always together. If she wants to go to the movies or do something fun she wants to do it with me, so it will be a huge adjustment for the both of us!

Thanks so much for your prayers my new friends!!! I know it is a very powerful thing!
KT
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#1022538 - 08/19/08 01:45 AM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? KTMiteComply
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kaytee, my daughter had some friends but we still did a lot together before she left for college. Thank cod for the Watts line at work. I talked to her at least once a day nearly every day of the three years she was away at college. (She pushed and finished in three years instead of four.)

This is a right of passage for you both. You've got to learn to stand apart before you can come back together as equal adults. She'll always be your daughter but believe me, you're going to love the woman that comes back to you after college.

Prayers and ((hugs)) from one who lived through it too.

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#1022612 - 08/19/08 11:29 AM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Truffle Royale
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kaytee, it will be difficult, but you sill survive. My son starts his senior year of college next week. I've watched him grow from a young man to a wonderful man during the last three years. He has blossomed and become more independent - although mom still pays some of his bills.

Let her go, giver her some room and watch the changes occur. Just one piece of advice. Please don't do what my husband has done with his daughter. He 'fixes' everything and at 23 she really has no idea what the real world is like.

BTW - the college my son attends had a class for parents of first-time college students on how to adjust to their leaving. You might want to check with your daughter's school to see if they offer anything similar.

You both will survive and be better for it!
Last edited by Duchess Skittles; 08/19/08 12:41 PM.
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#1022638 - 08/19/08 12:31 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Skittles
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Kaytee, I am not there yet, but I can feel your pain.

A guy I work with is having his firstborn leave for college on Thursday, he said he and his wife have been really sad about it.
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#1022701 - 08/19/08 01:52 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? DeeQ
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I knew you guys would have some great words of wisdom and encouragement for me! Thank you ALL for the excellent & much needed advice!!!! Like you guys said...I need to let her go and watch her spread them wings and see her fly! After reading this it excites me to think about seeing who she really will become as she gets older. I know it will be beautiful...once I dry my little ole selfish eyes out! LOL!

Thanks again guys! Hope you all have a GREAT day!
KT
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#1022792 - 08/19/08 02:38 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? KTMiteComply
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kaytee, I can still see my hubby's face the day we drove away our youngest son when we took him to college. With two adult son's now (33 and 35) I can assure you that you will both survive and grow so much from this. And with computers these days you can email each other on a regular basis.

Just remember that no matter how much you miss her, this is such a wonderful time of growth for her. Let go and give her time and space to become the young women you know she can be.

I'll be thinking of you Friday and over the weekend.
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#1022850 - 08/19/08 03:01 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? corkygirl
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Ditto to all above Kaytee - we've survived three, and the youngest has one more semester.

The tears will be gone in a day, but the joy of watching them grow and learn and turn into independent adults is amazing. I can't tell you how nice it is to sit back and watch!

If you ever need someone to listen, feel free to PM me.
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#1023101 - 08/19/08 05:01 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Snow Bunny
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You will be in my prayers!
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#1024048 - 08/20/08 04:29 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? BurntSienna
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kaytee, it is hard for a while...I'm glad that you 2 have a close relationship, and it will get even closer...always remember to be thankful for this next step of her life and your life!

"And those who have reason to be thankful should continually be singing praises to the Lord." James 5:13
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#1024858 - 08/21/08 02:34 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Quadspapa
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Quote:
"And those who have reason to be thankful should continually be singing praises to the Lord." James 5:13


Thank you so very much for reminding me these precious Words!!!! The Word of God is so good!

Thanks everybody for all your words of encouragement & prayers!. It's ironic b/c yesterday I went to some compliance training in Bham and on our way back home (we were about 10 miles away) this car pulls out and hits our car. The other girl and I that was in there were fine and so was everybody in the other 2 cars...TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!...but anyways, as I got home last night (finally) and walked in and seen all of her stuff sitting there ready to be packed up tonight...it really put things into perspective to me. EVERYTHING you guys have said is true. I am now ready to let my little girl go and grow into her on little woman...spreading her wings and soaring to new heights...for you never know what tomorrow may bring!

Like I said before! Thank you all AGAIN for everything! Have a wonderful BLESSED day!
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#1025378 - 08/21/08 06:32 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? KTMiteComply
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kaytee, I don't have children but I still remember--15 years later--how my parents seemed to be okay with me going away to college, and it was only 45 minutes away. I was very close to them and really didn't have any social life outside of what we all did together. After we carried everything up to my room, we went downstairs and my mom broke into tears on the stairs. We just sat there and I held her for 5-10 minutes and I assured her that I loved her very much.

This will be a wonderful growht experience for your family and rest assured that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

:hugs:
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#1025430 - 08/21/08 06:53 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Bacon Boy
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I was a wallflower in high school, sent off alone packed to college, and told not to come home until Thanksgiving, and that was only becasue they closed the dorms and kicked you out for the weekend.

Looking back, it was one of the best moves my folks made The social kick in the arse was just what I needed!
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#1025529 - 08/21/08 07:52 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? #Just Jay
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Parenting is a tough job.

And if you do it correctly you will eventually work yourself out of a job.

Sounds like you should be patting yourself on the back for a job well done and enjoying what a wonderful young adult you have!!

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#1025535 - 08/21/08 07:57 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? FloBear
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FloBear - those are my sentiments exactly. Our job is to raise our children so they don't need us any more. I keep trying to drill that into my husband's head. His daughter is 23 - we're still paying for her master's degree - and she has no clue what real life is like.

Sorry - didn't mean to segue into something a little different.
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#1027847 - 08/26/08 12:53 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Skittles
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Well, how did you do Kaytee?
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#1027999 - 08/26/08 02:36 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Skittles
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Quote:
Well, how did you do Kaytee?


Hey Duchess and everybody!

Well....I made it...back? It was a very tough day emotionally and physically. We had to tote everything up 4 flights of stairs...no elevators! And this ole bird ain't in no shape to be toting anything up no 4 flights of stairs! We stayed together until about 9:30 and then I got her something to eat and dropped her off at the front steps and watched her walk up them and away (I did that as I pulled off...didn't want to seem like she was in 1st grade) Then I cried the whole 2 hours home. I cried b/c I miss her and am proud that she is so independent and making good choices...just like FloBear way saying. I cried b/c my back and feet where killing me! LOL!!!

The weekend was tough at home for me and my husband. We couldn't do a thing...just went from the chair, to the couch, to the bed and he was great going to get me something to eat. Saturday we had strong storms to come through b/c of Fay and there was tornado's all over the state...one being where she was. I couldn't get ahold of her for hours. Finally she called and the first thing she said was "Mom...why in the world did you have to call 8 TIMES??? But today...I am much better!!!! I know God is with her and us and that I have done the best I can to raise her to be a good and independent young woman. And I've been blessed by so many great and loving friends! THANKS everybody for all your wonderful words of wisdom & support! It was a TREMENDOUS help to me!

{HUGS}!!!

Have a great day!
KT
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#1028392 - 08/26/08 05:50 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? KTMiteComply
DeeQ Offline
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KT, the guy I work with said exactly the same things to me this morning. See, you are experiencing normal parental angst at the bird leaving the nest.

(He said it was one of the hardest things he ever did.)

Take care!
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#1029203 - 08/27/08 05:39 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? DeeQ
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KT, what can I say but 'you survived' one of the hardest days with your daughter so far. Good for you!! Reading your post brought back those memories of dragging stuff up stairs and driving away and that feeling of 'something missing' the next day. Then my son came home for his first weekend and I was so glad to have him head back to school Hang in there, it gets better and better.
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#1029653 - 08/28/08 03:10 AM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? corkygirl
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my kids couldn't wait to launch and fly like birds

course 1 or 2 of them have had failed rockets and they had to return to base, but they eventually get out there

I actually enjoy the empty nest, just sayin'......
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#1033559 - 09/03/08 04:05 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Pale Rider
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How's it going Kaytee? It will be an adjustment period for all of you, and I agree with Corky that when she comes home for the holidays, you'll be thrilled to have her home, then after maybe a week, you'll be wondering when she's going back.

They get very independent and very set in their ways very quickly - and you'll adapt to not having her there also. Little by little we change.

Hang in there.
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#1033704 - 09/03/08 05:29 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Snow Bunny
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Hey Pooh....thanks so much for asking!

We had a GREAT first weekend together! But it sure was awful to see her pull out of that driveway and leave me again. The great thing about it is she seems to be adjusting so nicely!

She even met up with an old guy friend that she played rec soccer with for several years when she was about 10 years old. He had moved away and we never seen him anymore of course...turns out he went to the same college as she did AND his great Aunt works with me...small world! So she has had lunch with him and several other friends...applying for new jobs and such...all with out my help and not alot of phone calls to mom! So...I'm a lotta of a proud little braggy (probably too much sorry) momma today! LOL!!!

Really...thanks again for asking and all the advice...

P.S. I probably am going to like them weekends after she leaves and goes back to her place! The house sure does stay alot cleaner!!! YIKES
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#1060537 - 10/08/08 07:37 AM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? KTMiteComply
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Kaytee,

Glad things are working out. Kinda of went through the same thing with my two oldest boys, both joined the Navy and left 9 months apart. I think I handled it better than Mom did, but it still wasn't the same around the house. Bad thing now is that one lives in Washington and the other in Norfolk. I sure hope the youngest decides to attend college close by.

On a good note, will see the middle son this weekend, he is in Chicago (Great Lakes for those in N. IL) and has a 4 day weekend. Won't see the other until Christmas. Basically we take what we can get and enjoy it.
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#1060555 - 10/08/08 11:55 AM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Seadevil
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Kaytee, glad to hear that it is getting easier for you. Pretty soon you will welcome her home for the weekend and give a big sigh of relief when she pulls out of the driveway on her way back to school. Never understood when my mother said she loved to have me visit but also liked it when I went back to school or home - - just took my son heading off to college for me to understand.
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#1060578 - 10/08/08 12:22 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? corkygirl
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^^^^^^^
So true Corky. They get very independent very quickly. It doesn't take long for them to decide what is the right and wrong way to do something (in their minds). We always loved when the boys came home, but after 3-4 days, you'll begin thinking......now when is it that they're going back to school?
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#1060645 - 10/08/08 01:08 PM Re: Prayers for the "College" mom? Snow Bunny
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Thanks guys for all the encouragement! It is so wonderful to read over this after just a couple of months and think of where I was and where I am now! ALL of you by the way where 100% correct, as if you didn't know this already! Boy...it didn't take long! I was kind of there this weekend....is it time for you to get on the road yet? couldn't believe I even THOUGHT it already! oh the guilt!!!! LOL!!!!!
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