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#1036714 - 09/08/08 06:18 PM
Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
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My husband's ex-wife is a piece of work. She just called screaming at him because he isn't doing his share and she's tired of carrying everything. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. I won't go into too many details, but it's a load of bull hockey. She forgets that he paid all of the dental bills (which are many) covers car insurance, cell phone ($200 last month), medical insurance, medical expenses and sends $300 for rent. He is sending his ex-wife a check for $350 for 'our' part of his daughter's first month's rent and told his ex that he never wants to hear her voice again.
BTW - the daughter is 23 years old and in graduate school. She'll get out next May but still doesn't know what she wants to do.
Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!
Thanks - I feel a little better now.
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#1036723 - 09/08/08 06:24 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Skittles
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,398
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Oh, Duchess, I'd ask you why either parent is carrying a 23 year old graduate student but I have no room to talk in that department. Suffice it to say, I've learned the hard way that you CAN help too much.
Then there's always the question of why mom is running interference for a 23 year old. If she needs help from dad, why doesn't she just call him?
Does it help to have someone else just vent some of the things you're undoubtedly thinking but are too much of a Southern Gentlewoman to vent here? Hang in there and vent as much as you need to. Better you get it out with us than on your poor husband. Lord knows it won't affect the ex at all.
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#1036742 - 09/08/08 06:33 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Truffle Royale
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,141
In the Snow :)
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Hang in there Skittles. I agree with Truffle. We learned the hard way that there is such a thing as too much help also.
As to why the daughter doesn't call dad directly - I'm guessing that mom is a much softer touch, and daughter knows what buttons to press to get what she wants.
Good luck!
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The woods are lovely dark & deep & I have promises to keep & miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep
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#1036814 - 09/08/08 07:26 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Snow Bunny
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
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Mom is 'friend' not parent. BIG difference. I keep thinking about my 21 year old college student son. Yes, I help him as much as we help her, but the rest he does for himself - gas for car, groceries, movies, restaurants, trips, etc.
My husband is finally starting to see that he has always done WAY too much for her and she doesn't know how to take care of herself.
Thanks guys. Yes, your words help me to realize I'm not over-reacting. Well, at least too much anyway.
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#1037020 - 09/08/08 09:16 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Skittles
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 279
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I am so sorry to hear about this - you are not alone...
My husband's ex is also a piece of work - his children are not old enough to have rent - they all live with us - so this is not an issue...
She can't stay at one address more than a few months but has purchased her 11 year old son a palm centro(???) cell-phone??? I don't understand it - but she is more of the "friend" than parent. The kids don't have to do a thing over there, nor do they have to mind or show anyone respect. They can do whatever they please and go to be whenever (if at all) they please. It is quite miserable when they return to us. I only hope that by the time my oldest step son is 23 we actually might have to think about paying rent and not on what day we can visit him at whatever jail he happens to be in....
Good luck - remember that you are not alone - if you need to talk pm me - I will be happy to listen to your ranting....
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#1037032 - 09/08/08 09:27 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
kendrar
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3,298
only if I want to....
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Duchess...you are such a sweet person! Please feel free to post anything you want in order to get it all out. It is sometimes tough dealing with "ex" anything. But I agree that it sounds like your husband is starting to see the light and it's better if he sees it for himself...trust me he will in time.
Hang in there friend!!! We are only a keyboard away for you!
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Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart...Prov 3:5-6
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#1037248 - 09/09/08 11:54 AM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
KTMiteComply
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,409
SW GA
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My ex just moved to Thailand!!!
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Semiretired. Working parttime at Historic Westville as a tour guide.
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#1037265 - 09/09/08 12:38 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Retired DQ
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,409
SW GA
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He's retired to there. He may never come to the US again. I'm extremely pleased. I would have helped him to pack if he'd wanted me to. What's so bad is that his only child, my son, is also glad he's gone. That should tell you something about him.
Last edited by Bagweaver; 09/09/08 12:38 PM.
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#1037322 - 09/09/08 01:15 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
kitten
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,409
SW GA
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After re-reading my post, it sounds like my child is still young. He's 39, but he's still my child. We were divorced when he was seven. I know it still hurts him how his father has been over the years. Thank goodness! He's nothing like his father when it comes to his little family. He's totally involved with them at home and at outside activities. He coaches two soccer teams. Nope! Nothing like is father!
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Semiretired. Working parttime at Historic Westville as a tour guide.
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#1037348 - 09/09/08 01:30 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Bagweaver
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 279
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Sounds like your son turned out to be an awesome father - what an accomplish for the both of you.
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#1037349 - 09/09/08 01:30 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Skittles
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Power Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 4,241
middle of the country
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Mom is 'friend' not parent. BIG difference. I keep thinking about my 21 year old college student son. Yes, I help him as much as we help her, but the rest he does for himself - gas for car, groceries, movies, restaurants, trips, etc.
My husband is finally starting to see that he has always done WAY too much for her and she doesn't know how to take care of herself.
Thanks guys. Yes, your words help me to realize I'm not over-reacting. Well, at least too much anyway. Over-reacting - - - NOW WAY JOSE!!!! Sounds like it's time for his daughter to grow up and for his ex-wife to find a hobby to occupy her time Vent anytime, that's what friends are for.
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#1038211 - 09/09/08 09:58 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Princess Leia
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 314
CA
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I wish my ex would move to Thailand... Ditto! After what my ex pulled this week ... Maybe we could get some sort of bulk discount rate and ship all our ex-husbands to Thailand together!
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
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#1038272 - 09/10/08 12:24 AM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
DebL
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,854
Pulling people out of the ditc...
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Duchess...for the $350 he sent her last month, you could have her "taken care of", know what I mean? (you are in georgia, after all...)
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Providing alternative truths since the invention of time
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#1038348 - 09/10/08 10:35 AM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
DebL
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Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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I wish my ex would move to Thailand... Ditto! After what my ex pulled this week ... Maybe we could get some sort of bulk discount rate and ship all our ex-husbands to Thailand together! Like bulk shipping? Cool!
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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#1038425 - 09/10/08 01:25 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Retired DQ
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3,760
Running and riding everywhere ...
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I'm in if we can get a bulk rate?!?!?!
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I don't need any more negativity in my life...be positive and helpful people or I will kick you in the shins!!!
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#1038805 - 09/10/08 04:27 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
RR Jen
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,141
In the Snow :)
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Isn't Thailand too good for them? Isn't that where they have major underage prostitution trades?
Why not ship them off to - oh, I don't know - someplace like Afganistan, Mongolia, Siberia - someplace that The Amazing Race WOULDN'T go to.
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The woods are lovely dark & deep & I have promises to keep & miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep
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#1039419 - 09/10/08 09:27 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Snow Bunny
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 306
Northern MN
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We have a floating bog just north of our house. there has been many-a-time we have planned a trip there for my hubby's ex. There is lots of room there, so we could just make one BIG trip! Just let me know your schedule..........
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#1039445 - 09/10/08 09:54 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
MaryRink
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,392
Curled up by the fire...
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Sorry about your frustrations Dutchess. That stinks. Tell us where she lives and we'll send a fellow BOLer in the area to slit her tires
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#1040262 - 09/11/08 05:23 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
MaryRink
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,975
Alderaan
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We have a floating bog just north of our house. there has been many-a-time we have planned a trip there for my hubby's ex. There is lots of room there, so we could just make one BIG trip! Just let me know your schedule.......... Sounds perfect Mary! Mine's afraid of leaving the MSP metro area
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#1040285 - 09/11/08 05:33 PM
Re: Sorry - gotta vent - husband's ex-wife
Princess Leia
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,912
Outside A Garage
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In regar to exes, a line from a Bare Naked Ladies song comes to mind.
"I was a baby when I learned to suck, but you have raised it to an art form."
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...you guys, I'm going home
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