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#1053355 - 09/30/08 01:10 AM Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek:
Snow Bunny Offline
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Some friends of my husbands stopped over yesterday afternoon. They brought along their 8 year old daughter (and decided to bring one of her friends along also). Am I just being old fashioned, or do kids no longer have any manners and respect for other peoples things?

We decorate our house with lots of things for Halloween - gourds, indian corn, witches, houses, all kind of things and we love it. This little girl felt it was all there for her to play with! She picked up one thing after another, and her parents said Nothing! She would take things from one room into another. I have several pumpkins that I still can't find - hopefully I find them before they start to rot and smell, and ruin something.

Her friend plopped himself down into an antique childs rocking chair that was filled with teddy bears. At one point, she ran into the house from outside, and then straight out the front door. Parents weren't even aware of it! The phone rang, she picked it up and was going to answer it. Then she started turning my dining room light on and off. When I told her to stop, she started rubbing her dirty hands all over my wallpaper. I let her know that was not acceptable. To me, she listened. To her parents - Hah!

When we took our sons to visit someone, they took along their 'toy bag', which we kept packed for visits and trips in the car. They knew what to do and what not to do. I am hoping that this little miss is an exception rather than the rule. My husband who is pretty calm about this type of thing, hasn't stopped talking about how wound up she was. I couldn't wait until they left.

Oh well, luckily nothing got broken - at least that we know of yet. Thanks for listening!
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#1053366 - 09/30/08 02:18 AM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Snow Bunny
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Originally Posted By: Pooh (The Bear)
Some friends of my husbands

How many husbands do you have?

Seriously, in situations liek this, I have always found that it is better to address the kids directly instead of the parents. It sounds like the children are a bit behind the learning curve on manners, but that is not their fault. More often than not, if you explain to a child why not to do whatever they are doing, the rrequest will be heard, understood, and obeyed. The parents may leave the visit thinking you are a bit "uptight" but that's their problem, not yours.

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#1053367 - 09/30/08 02:32 AM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: JacF
Mrs. Rizzo Offline
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Curled up by the fire...
This is why I don't have children. Everyone always says "Oh no! My children will never act like that"...but how to you avoid it????
My friends with children say I'm awful but seriously...stuff like this always happens to me.
I just stick with no kids in my home!
Sorry to hear of your distress and I hope you get things worked out.
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#1053399 - 09/30/08 11:30 AM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Mrs. Rizzo
Skittles Online
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How do you avoid it? Hands on, that's how. It seems like parents today just expect their kids to misbehave and don't do anything to correct them. They want to be their child's friend and not their parent. My sister is one of those. I've seen her take her daughter (4 at the time - now 9) to restaurants and just let her holler. When my son was young we would have taken him out. Who wants to go to dinner and hear kids scream?
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#1053413 - 09/30/08 11:59 AM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Skittles
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That's what we always did Duchess. Our sons knew what they should and shouldn't do.

Jac - do you feel comfortable correcting someone else's child in front of them? I wouldn't feel right doing that.
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#1053438 - 09/30/08 12:45 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Snow Bunny
waldensouth Offline
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FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
Pooh,

I'm not Jac but will answer - I had an excellent role model in my Grandmother. She didn't care whose kids they were - if they were in her home they would obey her rules or she would discipline them! a lot of kids visited my grandmother with their parents and it was probably the only time they behaved - they knew the ground rules and that my grandmother would enforce them! I am the same way - actually at our church, we all feel very comfortable correcting each other's kids and letting them know when their behaviour isn't appropriate. Its a small town and its good to know that no matter where my daughter is, she knows that she will be watched and reported on or corrected on the spot!
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#1053444 - 09/30/08 12:54 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: waldensouth
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Funny waldensouth - but that is how I was. I had a friend who's son wouldn't mind her for anything, but he knew that in my home he had to obey the rules. My ex-husband put our son and her son in a corner one time and forgot about them. He went up to my son's bedroom twenty minutes later and they were both still staring at the wall.
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#1053455 - 09/30/08 01:06 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Mrs. Rizzo
RR Becca Offline
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out of the frying pan...
Originally Posted By: Rizzo
This is why I don't have children. Everyone always says "Oh no! My children will never act like that"...but how to you avoid it????
My friends with children say I'm awful but seriously...stuff like this always happens to me.
I just stick with no kids in my home!
Sorry to hear of your distress and I hope you get things worked out.


I'm in the same boat, Rizzo. My husband wants kids, but he's not here to have to put up with them so for now my wishes rule. I'm one of those 'horrible mean people' who will either refuse to sit near small children in a restaurant or will ask to be moved if some are seated near us after we have a table. I can tolerate most of my friends and relatives kids in very small doses, but that's about it. My sister's kids and a couple of hubby's little cousins are the exceptions: they're just BAD.
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#1053456 - 09/30/08 01:07 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Skittles
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My son knew what would happen if he didn't behave, and I didn't wait until we got home to punish him if he didn't behave (which didn't happen too often). Sometimes embarrassment at being punished can be worse than the punishment itself.

My grandchildren also know, behave or get punished. If that doesn't work, we go home (I think that's happened once). I don't have problems when I take them out now. They know the rules.
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#1053465 - 09/30/08 01:15 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Skittles
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I know they will not be invited back to our house for a long, long time. I guess I will need to be more pro-active in the future. I have never felt comfortable correcting someone else's children in front of the parents; however, I will not make that mistake in the future.

Our sons have been taken out of church, restaurants, etc, screaming at the top of their lungs, but they came back in and were good. My parents commented recently about my husband taking our youngest out of a restaurant when he was little, and about how good he was after that.

Becca and Riz - if you don't want kids, don't have them. But, it is a great and amazing thing to watch them grow up and mature into fine young people. That doesn't always happen, and I know this from sad experience, but it usually does, and it is one of the most rewarding experiences you can have in your life. But - it is not for everyone. I wish you both good luck with your decisions.
Last edited by Pooh (The Bear); 09/30/08 01:22 PM.
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#1053486 - 09/30/08 01:33 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Snow Bunny
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Pooh, I have seen some of my son's friends behave like absolute animals, to their parents, no less! Those kids are very infrequent vistors to my home.

These children need to be taught how to behave, and there lies the fault of the parents.
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#1053511 - 09/30/08 01:46 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Retired DQ
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"I'm sorry but we don't do that in this house." If I had a nickle for every time I've said that to a child or a parent who was going to allow a child to do something, the economic crisis wouldn't be a crisis to me.

Seriously, it's your house and your rules. I give visiting parents one chance to step in. If they don't, I do. If they don't like the way I did it they'll step up to the plate and take responsibility. But I don't back down in the face of 'oh, we let him do that at home'. That's nice...then take him home to do that because he's not doing it here.

I've got kids over all the time and never had a complaint so I have to agree with whoever said, kids look for boundaries and once they know them, they'll happily comply.

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#1053678 - 09/30/08 03:16 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Truffle Royale
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Take charge Pooh, it's your home and you should speak up if the kids are getting out of hand. Shame on the parents for not, at the very least, picking up on your tension over what their children were doing and putting a stop to it.

Parents should have teir kids bring along a book to read or a favorite toy to keep them busy when visiting, especially when there are no children living there to play with.

When that fails........threaten them with their life
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#1053828 - 09/30/08 04:32 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: bOaty
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And remember - always follow through - especially with the life thing <grin>.
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#1053885 - 09/30/08 04:48 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Skittles
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I would have liked to have wrung her little neck! LOL

The future DIL seems to hate bratty kids, so I am hoping for the best when it comes to grandkids. Of course, any grandchild of mine will be perfect like their grandmother LOL
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#1053966 - 09/30/08 05:14 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Snow Bunny
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you better still be looking for those pumkins Pooh Bear, or soon your nose will lead you to them!!!!
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#1054003 - 09/30/08 05:32 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Pale Rider
Snow Bunny Offline
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I am Pale. I am.

I still haven't found 2 little pumpkin candles.

It is just beyond me that anyone would let their children act like that. My parents would have quite literally killed us if we did anything like that, and our sons knew better.

Makes me wonder about the next few generations. I know - that makes me sound really old, but, good manners never go out of style, and can never be learned too young!
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#1054088 - 09/30/08 06:01 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Snow Bunny
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Not directed at any one in particular here....

Why are we grown-ups so afraid to step up if it's obvious a parent is falling down on the job? Or step in if we see an animal being abused...or someone being bullied. You can be courteous but stand up for basic priniciples of right and wrong. I know I'm going overboard but you get what I mean, right? Especially in your own home, you not only have the right but I believe the responsibility to guide a child to behave properly.

ok...climbing off the soapbox now.

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#1054146 - 09/30/08 06:16 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Truffle Royale
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That's ok Truff - stay up there as long as you want

If I am put in a situation like this again, I will speak up. I am almost sure that the reason they left was because of the look on my face. I was ready to blow at any second, and it would not have been pretty.
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#1054179 - 09/30/08 06:22 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Snow Bunny
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Here here Truff. I would hope that if I saw a child or animal being abused that I would step up. The older I get the stronger I have become.

I will correct my niece when I can - or at least try to. Her mother gives in a lot to her and she's not used to 'no' and is an extremely strong-willed child. She is just like my sister and it cracks me up.

I hope you find your pumpkins.
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#1059858 - 10/07/08 04:14 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Retired DQ
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Originally Posted By: Devil Queen
...

These children need to be taught how to behave, and there lies the fault of the parents.


Agreed.

I get compliments all the time on how well behaved Natalie is.
It is my God-given duty and responsibility to ensure that she is respectable. If she's not, then I am bound to let her know that there are consequences. Period.
I cringe when I see a kid whining in the store - the "I want that" whine and then see the parent give in. The same goes with ignoring bad behavior. I won't put up with bad behavior from my employees and I sure as heck won't put up with it in my own house, my haven.

Man... the soap box has a beautiful view

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#1059903 - 10/07/08 04:35 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: QCL
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Originally Posted By: MOPNB
Originally Posted By: Devil Queen
...

These children need to be taught how to behave, and there lies the fault of the parents.


Agreed.

I get compliments all the time on how well behaved Natalie is.
It is my God-given duty and responsibility to ensure that she is respectable. If she's not, then I am bound to let her know that there are consequences. Period.
I cringe when I see a kid whining in the store - the "I want that" whine and then see the parent give in. The same goes with ignoring bad behavior. I won't put up with bad behavior from my employees and I sure as heck won't put up with it in my own house, my haven.

Man... the soap box has a beautiful view


Well said MOPNB.

I like your Signature. That's a great definition for Courage!
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#1059918 - 10/07/08 04:44 PM Re: Need to Vent - Bratty Kids ! :eek: Snow Bunny
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Quote:
Man... the soap box has a beautiful view

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