My momma said happiness is the DEVIL!

Instead of the 2nd BoR, how about this? It's adapted from a local (and very liberal) radio station, 94 rock, (i.e. I cleared out the massive amount of f bombs). I think this is a much better idea. Keep in mind, this is several years old (prior to this current election). sorry I couldn't post this yesterday when the thread was hot, but I had to find my CD and transcribe it.

Bill of No Rights

We hold these truths to be self evident that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights, so stupid that they require a “Bill of No Rights” so maybe they can understand.

Article 1
You do NOT have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but nobody is guaranteeing a thing.

Article 2
You do NOT have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom – freedom for everyone, not just you.

Article 3
You do NOT have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Don’t expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

Article 4
You do NOT have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found. We will gladly help anybody in need, but we are quickly becoming weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

Article 5
You do NOT have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we are not interested in public health care.

Article 6
You do NOT have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, or intentionally maime or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

Article 7
You do NOT have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce your way into the goods, services, or other possessions of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away – where you still will NOT have the right to the big screen color TV and life of leisure.

Article 8
You do NOT have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job and will gladly help you along through hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you and make yourself useful.

Article 9
You do NOT have the right to happiness. Being an American means you have the right to PURSUE happiness. This, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you that are confused by the Bill of Rights.