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#1084280 - 11/19/08 06:48 PM silly jokes, pass them on
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
Okay, you have to add one after you read one...

Q - where does a one-armed man shop?

A - The 2nd hand store
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#1084282 - 11/19/08 06:48 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on HappyGilmore
#Just Jay Offline
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#Just Jay
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,390
Cheeseheadland
But if he has one arm, why would he need two hands?
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#1084284 - 11/19/08 06:50 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on HappyGilmore
SKULLSPLATTER Offline
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SKULLSPLATTER
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 216
On the concrete
Q - Do you know how to count sheep?
















A - 1, 2, 3, 4,...
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#1084290 - 11/19/08 06:57 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on SKULLSPLATTER
GuitarDude Offline
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GuitarDude
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,924
So Cal
Q) If you have two coins that total $0.30 and one is not a nickel, what denomination of coins do you have?

A) A quarter and a nickel.
Click to reveal..
One is not a nickel, but the other one is!
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#1084293 - 11/19/08 07:01 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on GuitarDude
Ops Offline
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Ops
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,827
Georgia
Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

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#1084297 - 11/19/08 07:04 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on Ops
pjs Offline
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pjs
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 10,319
oHiO
that's more like a mixed blessing! laugh

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#1084496 - 11/19/08 09:33 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on pjs
Czargazer Offline
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 298
Pacific Northwest
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.
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#1084526 - 11/19/08 10:00 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on Czargazer
Fork Ate Spoon Offline
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Fork Ate Spoon
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,261
Between Here and There
What did one cannibal eating a clown say to the other cannibal?





A: Does this taste funny to you?

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#1084547 - 11/19/08 10:18 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on #Just Jay
HappyGilmore Offline
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Posts: 19,450
Pulling people out of the ditc...
Originally Posted By: Just Jay
But if he has one arm, why would he need two hands?


the slow-jokes page can be found in another thread
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#1084554 - 11/19/08 10:20 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on HappyGilmore
QCL Offline

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QCL
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,259
NW IL
Proud momma to a 5 year old here...
This is her favorite:

A mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato were walking down the road one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.

The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on it, squashing it.

And says, "Ketchup!"
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#1084557 - 11/19/08 10:21 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on QCL
Spook-a-Muffin Offline
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Posts: 8,528
Elm Street - ish ♥
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'

(you're gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
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#1084567 - 11/19/08 10:25 PM Re: silly jokes, pass them on Spook-a-Muffin
#Just Jay Offline
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#Just Jay
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,390
Cheeseheadland
laugh
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