Help!! Experienced parents needed...
My 7 year old 2nd grader aggravates the heck out of me when it's homework time. He changes the subject, makes simple (I think) projects complicated and generally dawdles about so ultimately it takes us 1 1/2 hours to get the job done.
He gets a snack when he gets home, so I don't think he could be hungry.
I don't know how to encourage him to stay focused and be more efficient. Am I expecting too much? How can I get him to move along? Or should I just chill out?

It's only been 5 nights so far... ahhhhhhh!

Sorry, I can't be of much help because I am having the same problem with my 7 year old 2nd grader. She is extremely smart, remembers things years back, and yesterday she just drove me crazy saying she couldn't figure out what to do.
Thankfully, my 3 yr old sits down and does his homework right away.
The thing that gets me though is, my daughter is a wonderful student, a teachers dream, and my son is the class clown. At home, they switch roles .
What gives?

Maybe find out how he behaves/performs while in class. Maybe they are doing something in the classroom that allows him to concentrate well or maybe not so well (works with a buddy, gets to switch between projects at will or on a whim, can or can't see out a window). Also, there could be things at home that distract or detract from how your child learns best.

My (limited) experience is that each child has their own level of interest in things like work (chores) and school. My oldest (almost 12) was and still is a puppy. He wants to run around and play. He was in public schools until two and a half years ago when we switched to home schooling. He still struggles sometimes when he doesn't want to do his school work, but taking longer delays when he can go out and play. Some days he wants to work alone at a table and other days wants to be in a group. My seven-year-old really enjoys school time and often does more than what was asked. My three-year-old varies depending on if he wants to be like his brother or Spiderman that day. Then there are the two-year-old twins. Uh, they’re still getting basic communication skills down (but that’s another story entirely.)

I would say not to worry. Your child is still at a very young age and is still learning and trying to accept some of the impositions of the schooling process, such as homework. It may pass soon, or maybe a light will go off when a friend calls asking to play and your child has to say they can't because of homework (peer pressure in a positive way.) I would continue to work with him and encourage him to finish his work and praise him when it is complete.

After all, it is just second grade.

What the heck are 3 year olds doing with homework?

His homework is not much. Mostly practicing writing and connect the dot type of activities. He is in preschool.

If it is any consolation, he will be 4 in December (and my daughter 8), so we wanted to give them a jump on their education. They both love school and like to learn. And, my daughter does the reading assigments and math work fine. It's the spelling and writing that she takes her time with.

I have found that each of my children approaches homework differently. I have never had a problem with my oldest (a senior). My middle child prefers to do her homework at school if possible. My youngest (a 5th grader with ADD) has progessed so much ever since he started using a planner. He likes to start his homework at 9pm (yes, that's right) and the past year and so far this year this has never been a problem. He is an active child and he runs and plays until then, and then he can settle down and focus on the work at hand. If I were to tell him he HAS to do it right after supper, or as soon as he gets home we would never get it done.

It will take time, but you will find a way to get it done that works for both of you. I find it amazing at the amount of homework my kids bring home. I don't remember having that much as a child...but then again...that was a LONG time ago!

Eat your young now while they're still small....

Okay so maybe this is a little extreame but the frustation they can cause ....anyways as with all things and kids sometimes it's how big a deal we as parents make it; as to how bad it can be!! Now on my fourth child I can tell you the more you fight the worse it gets. I now let my kids know that homework has to be done.... tv and video games do not. The policy is snack, a short relaxation time, then homework BEFORE any other funstuff. This time takes as long as the child makes it take. I also don't stand around anymore letting the child make me crazy I help then move on!!!

After many years of those frustating homework battles and not so great conduct marks, we finally had my daughter tested for ADHD when she was in 4th grade. I was very reluctant, but after several visits with her pediatrician and reading several very enlightening books, she was found to be highly ADHD. I have heard many horror stories about the med but like I said after discussing and reading we decided to try it. She was also beginning to get very frustrated because no matter how hard she tried she could not follow through, remember things in her locker needed for homework or pay attention in class. I remember helping her study for math or spelling tests for hours and getting so frustrated because she couldn't remember something we went over 10 minutes earlier - AHHH!!!

At the beginning of that school year she was performing at about a C average level and putting forth a lot of effort to acheive that - with many homework battles! She ended the year with straight A's, great conduct grades, 3rd place in the UIL writing contest and the 100 point book club! We have not had any problems with the medication, but only take it when focus is critical. I do not and will not allow teachers or school to focus on it's usage to relieve the 'HD. She is still very full of life but also seems much happier with herself. I also got some books for her to read because of the "perception" kids have about other kids who have to go to the nurse to take their meds. Lack of discretion was her biggest fear.

I believe this is a decision the parent should make by open minded discussions with teachers and trusted physicians. And, by doing their own research. The situation that you are describing sounds so familiar! Second grade is usually the year they will begin the "testing" process. If they get too old, they have to be deferred to a psychologist. My daughter was on the cusp of that age.

I realize that many kids are medicated when they shouldn't be, but I also now realize there are many that can benefit greatly from the effects that go undiagnosed. Now that my daughter has developed better study habits, has learned to deal with her own weaknesses, and has more confidence, she does not take the meds regularly. But she is now in 7th grade and can also tell the difference in her ability to focus and understand with and without it!

Good luck! I hope that your child is simply adjusting to the new school year. But, if your frustrations continue and you would like for me to provide you with the name of the books that her pedicatrician had me get and read I will be more than glad to.

Well here's my experience.

We have 2 children and when the kids were small, the time between coming home and going to bed could be crazy to say the least. With 2 working parents it can be hard to keep your sanity especially when it comes to doing homework.

I took the approach early on that my kids understood it was their homework and not mine. I was there to review it and assist in understanding what was expected of them to do. I explained to the kids that if I did their homework the teacher would not have a clear understanding of their performance.

It was more challenging with my son than daughter. We worked out a process that there would be a little relaxing time once we got home for a snack and then it was homework time. Homework was to be done before tv or computer. The most frustrating part of "helping" them with homework was to continue making dinner and while they dragged it out. It would have been a lot easier to just do it with them step by step.

I believe some experts would recommend the consequence of sending them to bed, etc if their homework was not completed within a reasonable expected time, but I never had to go that far. Althought there were many nights when it seemed like they were at the table until bed time.

My kids attended private school and I did go to bat in fourth grade because the teacher was assigning way too much homework and the teacher changed her ways once enough parents brought it to her attention.

Bottom line, ensure the kids know the homework it their responsibility, what is expected of them, you're there as a resource for understanding what the assignment is not to do it

Hang in there! Try different times and settings until something works, then be prepared to be flixible because it won't work all the time. There were times my daughter wanted me to sit at the table with her and do something while she worked, and other times when she wanted to be totally alone. Sometimes it was right after school, while she was eating her snack, sometimes after supper ... but never in the morning before school! She actually had a friend who got up at 5:00 a.m. and did homework then. Not in second grade , but by junior high.

My daughter is in first grade and she didn't seem to want to do her homework. We implemented a reward system that if she does it and does a good jop she gets a sticker. After so many stickers she gets to go to her favorite eating establishment. She hasn't received enough stickers yet but she is sure trying hard to get there.

Just a thought.

This works well with my 4th grader. I figure out how much work she has that night. When I get home, I ask her what time she wants to do her homework. If bestime is 9 and she says 8:00 and she has about an hour's worth, that is fine. She is free until 8:00. At 8:00 though, she is sitting down with me in a non-distracting place, and we go thru it. If she doesn't come thru or gives grief, then all the other things she did before 8:00 are taken away the next day (TV, play date, etc.) 2nd grade was more of a challenge, even though there was less homework. I think it's vital to make your child understand that you have a life also, and other responsibilities, so if they expect you to help them with their work, then they need to pick a time in advance so that you aren't wasting your time making sure it doesn't take them an hour to read 2 pages.

I'm in there with you guys and singing the blues over my 5th grader. Misery loves company, so they say. Unfortunately, I don't have any good advice other than praying for extra measures of patience (mostly for my wife).

By the way, I'm also singing those "It's the first week of school and I've already got to ask my co-workers to buy some ____________ [fill in the blank, e.g., wrapping paper, candy, etc.] so the school can get a few cents on the dollar and give the rest to some fundraising outfit" blues. I'd rather just write a check to the school, and let them keep the whole donation. But then, how would my daughter sell enough to qualify for some trinket of a prize?

My daughter gets to ride in a Limo to the "Peeler Party".. ..YEAH!!! But Me and my co-workers are out the $150.00 she had to raise

I here you there about the "my kids are selling ___________, wanna buy something?" I always feel guilty asking the people I work with to purchase. Between school and sports, my child always has something to sell!!

My son will be selling Yankee Candles soon for Drama. They're putting on a play 'Crazy For You' and need the $$$$.

How do you teach a 16 year old how to study is my question. My son has never had to study before and aces his honors classes. I know one day, soon, it's going to catch up to him and he won't know how to study. He is learning, though, that he needs to read over the material prior to taking a test.

I feel your pain guys! My third grader is also driving us batty with homework. What should take a half hour ends up taking an hour and a half! At her school the parents are required to check all homework and sign off in their student planner every evening. If mom or dad doesn't sign, the student gets fun time taken from them at school. Actually, I think it is good that the school wants the parents involved in their kids education.

Hey, Skittles, high school came very easily to me, like your son. I found that college was a challenge since I didn't have to study in h.s.

Just a thought....

What did you do? I'm curious so I can steer my son in the right direction. So far so good, though.

Been there..done that too Skittles. My 17 yr old had to squeek by his AP English first semester his sophomore year because they were working on SAT vocabulary. That is not something even the brightest of kids can easily ace without studying. Once he came so close to the edge of failing he didn't know what was wrong because everything usually came so easy. He started telling me he was just stupid! I had to make sure that he brought home the books and we would sit down together and go over the vocabulary. I don't think he realized studying was something people really did!

He also has the same problem with baseball - which he is still working through. He has always been naturally talented without a lot of extra effort. So, when he is not performing as well as he thinks he should he gets very frustrated and tries to force it instead of thinking about it and making changes. His coaches have tried and tried to tell him he's trying way too hard when he's in that situation. (He's even been known to throw a helmet..or two.. ) I'm hoping things like that come with maturity.

I didn't want to post here because I, too, have a problem son for homework. Never, ever does it. All through grammer school the teachers always complained to me but his grades were always good. Then, in High School they started to penialize him for it, he was always in summer school. It was always frustrating for me (not him) because the teacher would fail him with a 79 because he did very well in the tests but never did homework (or papers, or projects, anything other than actual classwork). So, all his test marks would be 90+ but he would still get a 79 because he didn't do any homework! So now he is in college and guess what...he gets dismissed freshmen year for grades, gets reinstated, gets dismissed second year for grades, gets reinstated.. and the beat goes on. I gave up in 6th grade helping him with his homework, for my own sanity. I really thought that when he had no help at all he'd get it done. Then I thought that when they started to actually fail him and he felt the consequences of his actions, that would get to him, and now what. He's a smart guy. He learns fast, doesn't forget, does everything well, just LAZY. I give up.

Ellen - I had a boss once whose son was bounced out of college because of grades. Like your son - it wasn't that he didn't have the brains to get the job done, just didn't have the ambition. Well, Dad made him come home and work until he made enough to pay Dad back for the tuition and room and board from the fun time at college. When the kid went back to college - things were different!

Thanks everyone for all of the valuable input. My guy is a good student, and I guess age is a factor; I guess I'll hang and see how it goes. (And I do think that he has an awful lot of homework for a 2nd grader.)
It is comforting to know I am not alone.