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#1150187 - 03/24/09 01:41 PM
Wedding (dis)invite
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
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Last week, my boyfriend received an invitation to his cousin's wedding. The first thing that seemed odd was that all of the couple's family lives in the same vicinity, but the festivities are being held 30 miles away supposedly because that is where all of their friends are from. OK..... Whatever, I guess. Anyway, my boyfriend sends back the RSVP for 2 people (him & me). Well, his mother calls him yesterday to say that only family, spouses & fiancee's are allowed as guests. Apparently he did not read the "fine print" on the invitation (he's a guy, so go figure. ) Children are also not invited. I guess I kind of understand that, because sometimes the atmosphere isn't "child friendly". I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's right to invite someone to your wedding and not allow them to bring who they want as a guest because they're not family, married or engaged. It's his option to just not attend, and though I would not expect him to decline the invite now upon learning about this, it really bothers me that he still intends on going. He sees these people once a year, for Pete's sake. I'm not mad at him, by any means, it's his family and he feels obligated, I suppose. Am I like way off base here?
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Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine)
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#1150191 - 03/24/09 01:46 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
BowlingQueen
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 34,318
under the Lone Star
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your feelings are legit BQ; but the BF is in a tight spot! It's a no win situation for him; his cousin needs a kick in the pants!
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Societies that do not find work in and of itself "pleasing to God and requisite to Man," tend to be highly corrupt.
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#1150195 - 03/24/09 01:50 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
Pale Rider
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If the invite was just addressed to him, then that is what the bride/groom wanted - for cost or whatever reason.
I've had wedding invitations addressed to only me or to 'me and guest'
I've even seen invites to Mr ABC and guest, even though Mr ABC has been dating guest for 5 years!
I'd base it on the invitation as that shows the bride/groom's intent.
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With the lights out, it's less dangerous.
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#1150199 - 03/24/09 01:53 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
Miscuit
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 10,124
Way, way south.
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That was an "unvite."
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Giddy up.
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#1150201 - 03/24/09 01:56 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
MB Guy
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TX
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#1150206 - 03/24/09 01:59 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
A_G
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
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If the invite was just addressed to him, then that is what the bride/groom wanted - for cost or whatever reason.
I've had wedding invitations addressed to only me or to 'me and guest'
I've even seen invites to Mr ABC and guest, even though Mr ABC has been dating guest for 5 years!
I'd base it on the invitation as that shows the bride/groom's intent. I guess that all makes sense. However, I've been to many, many weddings (as I'm sure you have) and I have never heard that a person that has been invited cannot bring a guest. Furthermore, if cost is an issue, then maybe cousins (or others whom you only see once a year) would not be invited to the dinner part of the reception.
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Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine)
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#1150207 - 03/24/09 02:03 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
BowlingQueen
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 7,228
Cincinnati, OH
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Anyway, my boyfriend sends back the RSVP for 2 people (him & me). Well, his mother calls him yesterday to say that only family, spouses & fiancee's are allowed as guests. If I were him, I'd contact the bride and ask her. Why is his mother telling him to disinvite you and not the bride's mother? Something's fishy here.
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#1150211 - 03/24/09 02:04 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
Miscuit
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,132
Somewhere in the middle
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Make him pop the question! You are then a "Fiancee", problem solved. If you don't want to marry him, then call off the "engagement" after the wedding (Theirs not yours).
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I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.
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#1150213 - 03/24/09 02:06 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
BowlingQueen
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,858
Pulling people out of the ditc...
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you can't invite someone to a wedding but not the reception. But, it is their wedding and they do get to invite whomever they want, seeing as they are the ones paying for it. My wife was invited to the wedding of a co-workers daughter, and I was not invited. Didn't really bother me, I didn't know either person, but she felt obligated to go due to co-worker. And be real, most people invite extended family to weddings from either a sense of obligation or looking to get more gifts.
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Providing alternative truths since the invention of time
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#1150216 - 03/24/09 02:09 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
HappyGilmore
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 7,228
Cincinnati, OH
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you can't invite someone to a wedding but not the reception. But, it is their wedding and they do get to invite whomever they want, seeing as they are the ones paying for it. But from what I saw, they aren't the ones disinviting.... the boyfriend's mother is.
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#1150221 - 03/24/09 02:12 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
Miscuit
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 18,989
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you can't elope, you watermelon head!
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With the lights out, it's less dangerous.
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#1150223 - 03/24/09 02:12 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
A_G
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 18,989
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To whom was the invitation addressed?
Last edited by p j s; 03/24/09 02:16 PM. Reason: fixed for smart-youknowwhatses
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#1150225 - 03/24/09 02:14 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
A_G
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 18,789
TX
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How was the invitation addressed? To Whom It May Concern
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#1150236 - 03/24/09 02:28 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
BotV#6
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TX
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#1150242 - 03/24/09 02:34 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
Miscuit
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Happy, people get invited to wedding ceremonies but not receptions all the time around here...and vice versa. Sometimes they're not invited to the dinner but are invited to the dance afterwards. There's all different ways to do it.
And I edited my last post in response to his mother calling. I think someone there asked her to talk to him to soften the blow.
Really, BQ, do you even know these people well enough to be this miffed? Or is it the principal of the thing. Life's too short to sweat this small stuff. Besides, your own wedding guest list just got smaller, didn't it?
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#1150246 - 03/24/09 02:36 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
Ops
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
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I'm with BF.. I think it seems fishy, too. Why is Boyfriend's Mom telling him this? Apparently, the bride's mother called his mother about it when they received his RSVP, so she told him how the invitation read, blah, blah, blah. I don't think there is anything "fishy" going on. I guess I have never had this experience happen to me before and it caught me off-guard after expecting to be attending as his guest. I wouldn't say my pride is hurt necessarily either, but personally if I were to invite certain people to my wedding I would at least allow them to bring a guest (maybe just not all 8 of their kids. )
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Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine)
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#1150248 - 03/24/09 02:41 PM
Re: Wedding (dis)invite
Truffle Royale
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
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Happy, people get invited to wedding ceremonies but not receptions all the time around here...and vice versa. Sometimes they're not invited to the dinner but are invited to the dance afterwards. There's all different ways to do it.
And I edited my last post in response to his mother calling. I think someone there asked her to talk to him to soften the blow.
Really, BQ, do you even know these people well enough to be this miffed? Or is it the principal of the thing. Life's too short to sweat this small stuff. Besides, your own wedding guest list just got smaller, didn't it? Funny! Really, it's mostly the principle of the matter. I feel like it is insensitive to invite someone, but because they are not "officially" attached that they have to attend alone (if they chose to attend, that is).
Last edited by BowlingQueen; 03/24/09 02:42 PM.
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine)
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