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#118349 - 09/29/03 10:13 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,896
R.I.P. Chief Illiniwek
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Why do ducks have flat feet? -to stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? -to stomp out flaming ducks.
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We're doing oil changes. Oil changes for EVERYONE!!
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#118350 - 09/29/03 10:54 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,353
Anchorage Alaska
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LOL Analyze will have to join Omega and me for that drink. It will be a corny night for all...but just think of the goofy lines we'll have for the next bad joke thread!
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Dawn Coursey VP/CRA Queen
CRA Rating is in...Oh who cares...I'm home with the baby.
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#118353 - 09/30/03 01:26 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Diamond Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,873
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Jack and Lena were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. Lena said "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." Jack said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wiat for my coffee". Lena replied"NO, you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Jack said, "I can't believe that, show me." So Lena reached for the Bible, and opened it to the New Testament and showed Jack on the top of several pages, that it indeed says... "HEBREWS"
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Riding the waves of change.....2014
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#118354 - 09/30/03 01:44 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Power Poster
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 6,726
the sandy shore
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Two cows are outstanding in the field (which is not the joke but which cracks me up anyways.....) First cow: "Moooooo, what do you think about this Mad Cow Disease thing?" Second cow: "What do I care, I'm a helicopter."
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I disbelieved what he was saying so hard, I probably created an alternate universe where it wasn't true.
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#118355 - 09/30/03 02:03 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,357
A Grant Wood painting.
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We have slipped into good jokes here folks!
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The opinions expressed are what you can expect for the price paid.
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#118358 - 09/30/03 02:59 PM
Re: Tuesday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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10K Club
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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#118359 - 09/30/03 03:00 PM
Re: Tuesday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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10K Club
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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And for Dawnie: Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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#118361 - 09/30/03 03:42 PM
Re: Tuesday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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10K Club
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 789!
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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#118362 - 09/30/03 05:43 PM
Re: Tuesday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Power Poster
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,991
Soaring over Georgia
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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in the cherry tree.
Did you ever see an elephant in a cherry tree? See how good they hide.
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Jim Bedsole, CRCM, CBA, CFSA, CAFP My posts - my opinions
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#118363 - 09/30/03 06:07 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,357
A Grant Wood painting.
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You need only two tools in life- WD-40 and duct tape: If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40 If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.
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The opinions expressed are what you can expect for the price paid.
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#118364 - 09/30/03 06:13 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,719
PA
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Quote:
You need only two tools in life- WD-40 and duct tape: If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40 If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.
That's not a joke- that's utter truth!
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#118365 - 09/30/03 06:40 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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what did the fish say when it ran into the wall - dam
what did the beaver say when his house caught fire - hot dam
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#118366 - 09/30/03 06:53 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Power Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,828
Between the lines
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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A To get to the other side.
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NOLA is my Beach!
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#118367 - 09/30/03 06:54 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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10K Club
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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#118370 - 09/30/03 08:08 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,896
R.I.P. Chief Illiniwek
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How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich? -When it's too heavy to lift.
What do pelicans eat? -Anything that fits the bill.
Why does a chicken coop have only two doors? -If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
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We're doing oil changes. Oil changes for EVERYONE!!
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#118371 - 09/30/03 08:13 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,896
R.I.P. Chief Illiniwek
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I can't resist....just one more....
The Pillsbury Dough Boy passed-away today. The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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We're doing oil changes. Oil changes for EVERYONE!!
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#118372 - 09/30/03 08:59 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,355
The O.C., California
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Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
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I can explain it to you. I can't understand it for you.
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#118373 - 09/30/03 09:01 PM
Re: Monday Frivolty - Bad Jokes
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Gold Star
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 298
Pacific Northwest
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For those of you inclined towards relativistic physics: So this bar walks into a man... Oh wait, sorry wrong frame of reference. Ba-da-boom
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Everyone has to make a living, mine just happens to involve thumbscrews.
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