"Well, you're a Compliance Officer aren't you?" she asked with a roll of her eyes. We're just waiting for you to tell us what we are OUT of compliance with now???!!!! Last time you were here.........

"You told us this was wrong, and that was wrong, and so was the other thing! Can't we do anything correct enough for you???" She looks at her co-worker, "What do you think we should do with her?" The evil coworker looked at her and said...

"Let's send her straight to HMDA HELL!" The evil clerks responded with a cacophony of cackling as they marched the Compliance Officer toward a stack of musty files with papers and sticky notes jutting out at perilous angles. None of the files had a "Received" date stamp, and many of the applications did not show the intended use of the money.

"NO-O-O-O-OHHHHHH!!!!" the hapless Compliance Officer screamed in sheer agony. What could possibly save her now.... what?

Suddenly, she smelled smoke. Not like a nice toasty fireplace smell, but a musty, stinky, smoky smell.

emerging from the smoke and galloping straight toward her on his big white horse, was her hero.....

Elvis, who did NOT in fact die in the late 70's, but who has merely been in hiding, waiting for the perfect moment to re-establish his rock n roll dynasty.

"I've come to save the day!" he exclaimed, lip curling and pelvis shaking...

She was shocked. "You aren't really dead?", she asked in disbelief.

"No, mama--just all shook up..." he replied with a grin.

So how come you didn't save the day when Lisa Marie married Michael Jackson? she asked incredulously.

"Couldn't get out of the Jail House - Rockin' the time away!" he said with a 'thank you, thank you very much' grin.