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#1223742 - 07/28/09 10:41 PM Help! My coworker is driving me nuts!
runnergirl Offline
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 7
Where to begin? Back in February, we both started to get serious about losing weight. By May, she could talk about nothing but how much weight she had lost, how everyone was telling her how good she looked, etc. All day, all the time! She took prescription diet pills to lose most of the weight, but never told people that part. She also keeps saying that she's a size twelve and there is no way she is that small. She's at least a 14-16. It had gotten so bad that when she would start talking about weight loss, I just clammed up and didn't add to the conversation. I think she has gotten the hint, but she still tries to bring it up. Well, now it is to the point that we hardly even talk all day and you can cut the tension with

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#1223743 - 07/28/09 10:45 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
runnergirl Offline
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 7
a knife. She also does other things that drive me nuts, like being on personal phone calls all the time, not helping out with things, and also giving the wrong information (she almost got someone else in trouble by jumping to conclusions and presenting it as fact.) What do you guys recommend? The girl that worked back there before me said that this lady did the exact same stuff to her. She is obsessed with weight loss, and that's how it started with her too. I am thinking of going to my supervisor with my list of work related grievances, but she will know it was me that got her in trouble because only two of us work in the department.

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#1223747 - 07/28/09 10:57 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
Mrs. Rizzo Offline
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Curled up by the fire...
I'd go to my supervisor. Better to get it out on the table now before you lose it on her.
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#1223772 - 07/29/09 01:41 AM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Mrs. Rizzo
califgirl Offline
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califgirl
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,355
The O.C., California
"Work related grievances"??? The only one you have mentioned is that she gave out wrong information, and I don't know how exactly that affects you.

My advice - keep your head down and pay attention to your work. If you are in an area where it is permitted, maybe play your ipod with your head phones so you don't have to listen to her. Keep your distance and find other people at work to be friends with.

Believe me, if she is as bad as you think, the supervisor will figure it out.
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#1223773 - 07/29/09 01:50 AM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! califgirl
Truffle Royale Offline

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I agree with Cali that it doesn't sound like you've really got work related grievances. She's right too when she says you should put your head down and concentrate on your own work and not keep looking for things to add to your grievance list.

Finger pointing will not endear you to your boss. Most likely, it will point you out as someone who cannot adapt to the work environment or, worse yet, a snitch.

Think long and hard before deciding that too much weight loss talk is worth all the waves you will make. To steal from Bill Cosby...how long can you tread water?

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#1223823 - 07/29/09 12:58 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Truffle Royale
runnergirl Offline
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Yes, I agree it is more of personality issue than work. The supervisor already knows about her shoddy work performance. I didn't list all the other work related things that she does that have not been up to par. She has worked there for 15 years and I think they are just letting her stay there until she retires. I just wish it wasn't so tense between us. I come home exhausted at the end of the day. And I do keep my head down and do my own work and a good bit of hers too, while she is on personal phone calls and goofing around. I guess it just irritates me that she does the very minimum of what she has to. The girl that worked with her before had also complained about her to our supervisor. Maybe I will just wait it out. I think she is going to retire in a couple of years. Pray that I can keep it together.

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#1223885 - 07/29/09 01:58 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
MB Guy Offline
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Way, way south.
I agree with the others, but why are you doing her work as well?

What would happen if you just did your work and stopped doing hers? (I know there are situations where that doesn't work, but is this one of them?)
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#1224046 - 07/29/09 03:49 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! MB Guy
Dazed Auditor Offline
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 637
Acceptance, USA America
I have been a similar situation and imagine the original poster did the coworker's work as she wanted to be a good employee and make sure the work got done and she wanted to be a team player. I'm sure this coworker that is not pulling her weight has lame excuses for not getting the work done. The supervisor is aware of the coworker not doing own her and has chosen not to address the issue.

I been in situations where my coworker wasn't getting her work done and the supervisor asked me to help her out. How do you say no?

I would recommend trying to do a little of the coworker's work as possible but it is a fine line to walk.
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#1224074 - 07/29/09 04:06 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Dazed Auditor
Dip Offline
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Dip
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San Diego, CA
Why don't you just tell her you are tired of talking about weight loss and can you two try to talk abotu something else? Seems liek an easy fix...somethign that coudl have easily been brought up BEFORE it created tension.
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#1224100 - 07/29/09 04:26 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Dip
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
agree with Dip, tell her that you are happy that she has lost weight but you don't feel the need to continually discuss it...and who cares if she says she's a size 12 but is really bigger? This is work, not high school...
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#1224130 - 07/29/09 05:15 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! HappyGilmore
runnergirl Offline
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Yes, it is work and not High School. I think it is way more high school to lie about something that is completely obvious to others, and it is also a sign of a major character flaw. If she'll lie about that, she will lie about other things, which she does. You must have a strange set of values that you think lying about anything is ok. I guess I was raised differently. Today is a much better day. The tension is much less.

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#1224165 - 07/29/09 05:57 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
Dip Offline
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Dip
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San Diego, CA
It's petty to care that she lies about her clothing size, which is what you mentioned. Lying about work is a different subject completely.
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#1224176 - 07/29/09 06:10 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Dip
runnergirl Offline
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Joined: Jul 2009
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If you worked with her all day, every day and had to hear it all the time, you would be sick of it too, even if it is petty. Maybe I will start lying about my clothing size too, since you all seem to think that doing something ridiculous like that is acceptable. That might get her to shut up about it. Well, thanks for the advice. I think I know what I have to do.

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#1224199 - 07/29/09 06:33 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
Truffle Royale Offline

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[quote=runnergirl]Yes, it is work and not High School. I think it is way more high school to lie about something that is completely obvious to others, Really. You're that good at the obvious, huh? I'm amazed at what people THINK they KNOW and it is also a sign of a major character flaw. Wow. No judgement here. If she'll lie about that, she will lie about other things, which she does. And you know this for sure how? Moreover, this affects or hurts you how? You must have a strange set of values that you think lying about anything is ok. I guess I was raised differently. The values you were raised with obviously didn't include being nice to other people especially ones you know nothing about. Today is a much better day. The tension is much less. You certainly made up for it by raising a whole lot of tension here. Maybe you ought to try using that little preview post button before attacking BOLers.

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#1224206 - 07/29/09 06:43 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Truffle Royale
Sing A Little Offline
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Sing A Little
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CA
Honestly, who cares if she lies about her size or talks about weight loss. I'd be more upset about carrying someone who isn't doing their share of the work load.

If you really want to see a change in this woman's attitude, then stop doing her work for her and see what happens. She may be upset with you, but her attitude will change.
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He who sings scares away his woes. ~Cervantes

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#1224274 - 07/29/09 07:43 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Truffle Royale
runnergirl Offline
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Wow! What an angry post! Why don't you tell a story about someone difficult you worked with, Truffle, and how you overcame it? I would be interested to hear it. Whether or not it has to do with clothing sizes! smile I might be able to put some of what you did in a difficult situation to good use.

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#1224301 - 07/29/09 08:05 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
Truffle Royale Offline

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Sorry. You don't really seem sincerely interested in our help. You chose to put down fellow posters that I know and respect and I chose to defend them. You said you know what to do so I'll wish you good luck with that and move on.

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#1224347 - 07/29/09 08:46 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
Originally Posted By: runnergirl
Yes, it is work and not High School. I think it is way more high school to lie about something that is completely obvious to others, and it is also a sign of a major character flaw. If she'll lie about that, she will lie about other things, which she does. You must have a strange set of values that you think lying about anything is ok. I guess I was raised differently. Today is a much better day. The tension is much less.


I'm not saying it is okay to lie about her size, I'm saying in the big scheme of things, who really gives a flying flip. If "everyone" knows she's lying, then who cares? You have 3 choices...1) go along with her lie; 2) call her on it (oh, Sue, it is obvious your a 14, not a 12, who kidding, girlfriend); 3) ignore her. But based on the slant of your first post and this one as well, it would appear to me that we are dealing with some maturity issues from you as well. Sorry that I bothered to answer you in hte first place.
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#1224348 - 07/29/09 08:46 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Truffle Royale
runnergirl Offline
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Actually I was genuinely interested, but you are too on the defensive to communicate. Sorry you reacted that way. I felt attacked because you and the other poster said that I was being petty and neither of you have addressed that it is wrong for someone to lie, regardless of how "petty" it is. I did not come on here to be attacked nor to attack others. I only pointed out that your friend did not address the issue that my coworker lies.

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#1224365 - 07/29/09 09:02 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! runnergirl
Dazed Auditor Offline
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 637
Acceptance, USA America
I'm wondering if maybe a lot of different things about this coworker bother you and maybe the focus is coming out on the lying about her size. I am currently frustrated by certain coworkers and due to this frustration little things like who said something rude to me in the lunch room or looked at me weird in the hall really bothers me. So I do understand where you are coming from.

I would limit conversations with this coworker to work issues. Don't respond to any attempts she makes to start a personal conversation. Be pleasant but stay focused on work. Try not to do her work if you can but you want to be careful to not come off as someone who is not a team player.

I think sometimes people just need to vent.
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#1224378 - 07/29/09 09:23 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Dazed Auditor
Dip Offline
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Dip
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San Diego, CA
Since you care so much about her "lying" about her size, you don't really KNOW that she is lying. Maybe where she shops she IS a size 12. Stores these days size pretty crazy. I just bought a pair of Gap jeans that are a size 2-long. At Express I'm a size 4 or 6 depending on the cut. And I'm generally a smaller size in skirts and dresses than I am in pants and shorts.

So how do you know she isn't justified in saying she's a size 12?

Honestly, the longer this thread gets dragged out, the more it seems to me liek you are a tad jealous she's managed to lose weight (and perhaps you havent, or at least nto as much as she has?). PERHAPS that is the root of why her boasting abotu weight loss is bugging you. If that's the case, quit being negative towards her and focus on your own goal. Then you can brag abotu your accomplishment as well.
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#1224387 - 07/29/09 09:45 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Dip
Mrs. Rizzo Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,392
Curled up by the fire...
Runner Girl, BOL is full of extremely opinionated peeps. It's just human nature.
I think you have made up your mind that you are finished with this lady that annoys you to pieces. Do what your heart is telling you to do. Talk to your manager. If that doesn't work, maybe start looking else where.
Bottom line, lying about size or just being a lazy co-worker, you have to worry about your mental health and do what is best for you.
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Take responsibility for your life.

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#1224403 - 07/29/09 10:12 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Mrs. Rizzo
Ops Offline
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Ops
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Posts: 6,827
Georgia
For what it's worth, I agree whole heartedly with Rizzy. I understand that when you're carrying someone else's slack, it's easy to be petty about other non-work related things. I deal with this in my own workplace. For now, when I'm at work, I love my iPod, & I almost always keep to myself.

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#1224433 - 07/29/09 11:13 PM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Ops
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Curled up by the fire...
<----Thankful to have her own office and be able to send peeps to voicemail.
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#1224453 - 07/30/09 01:27 AM Re: Help! My coworker is driving me nuts! Mrs. Rizzo
#Just Jay Offline
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Frank?
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