RANT WARNING. This just happened and I just need to blow off some steam. I am sure I could have handled the following situation better, but I can't help but think this woman is an elitist.

I was driving down the street (in my 5 year old non-luxury mini-SUV) in one of the priciest neighborhoods in downtown Austin. Ahead I see a lady and her dog standing on the side of the road. I think she was pulling weeds from the grass of her multi-million dollar house. The lady looks up at my car and grabs her German Shepherd, seemingly to keep it from darting out in front of my car. Holding the dog's collar with one hand, she gives me the signal to slow down--you know the one: palm facing down and moving up and down. Because I am driving 30 mph and the speed limit is 30 mph, I stop, back up a little, and roll down my window to let her know I was not speeding. Here is our conversation.

Me: May I help you?

Her: You need to slow down.

Me: I was driving 30.

Her: It’s too fast.

Me: It’s the speed limit.

Her: Maybe we need to get it changed.

Me: When they do, I’ll slow down.

I start to drive off again.

Her: (loudly) Don’t drive through this neighborhood anymore.

I stop and back up again.

Me: Excuse me. (with a little attitude this time)

Her: Don’t drive in this neighborhood.

Me: I live in this neighborhood. (Which is a little bit of a lie, but I was a renter there 4 years ago and I do work directly across the street from the neighborhood.)

Her: You do?

I drive off for the last time.

Her: Have a nice day (she yells)

What an elitist I think to myself. Maybe I should have reminded her about the leash law. Maybe if I had read my 40 Days of Purpose chapter this morning I would have remembered to not let her get to me.

Z-You handled it better then I would have. Although being from Mass, we exhibit much road rage. I would have been just as irritated!

Z, reading that makes me angry. Who exactly does she think she is? I don't think you handled it wrong. Where exactly does she think she gets off telling you not to drive through her neighborhood? Is it a gated community? Probably not, otherwise you likely would not have been driving through there. Does she think the cops are going to sit in her neighborhood and keep you out? They have bigger fish to fry. She told you not to drive through the neighborhood because you pointed out that the speed you were driving was within the limits posted, and that, until the limit is changed, you may drive up to that speed limit. She really had nothing else to say, and you had her, so she resorted to the childish response of "stay out of my playpen". She needs to grow up. She needs to buy a dog leash, too.

I'd probably make sure I drove through there twice a day for the next month AND wave to her as I passed by.

I hope she appreciates the fact that she was dealing with a Texan and not someone from NJ. Bravo Z, for your self-restraint. But, from your posts, I would have never expected anything less than good manners from you.

Maybe drive through in a 1960's era Dodge Dart held together by rust with the stereo blasting and white smoke pouring out of the tailpipe. And to top it off park it in front of her house for a few hours. Or maybe I should just work real hard, get rich, and then move in next door.

Actually, I thought later that I should have asked her if she lived in the neighborhood. When she said yes, I should have said, "Well then, you must be rich--for $5,000, I promise, I'll never drive down this street again."

Just for fun, why don't some of you embellish my conversation to make it sound like it would if it had happened in your neck of the woods. Of course, you will have to bleep out the Joe Peschi language.

Detroit:

Mini-van backs up.

Z: May I help you.

Lady: Pulling a 38 snub-nose from her waist band - Bang!

Me: May I help you?

Her: Slow down dammit!

Me: Why don't you speed up?

Her: You're going too damn fast.

Me: I'm going the damn speed limit.

Her: Maybe we need to get it changed.

Me: Maybe you need to &*%$ change.

I start to drive off again.

Her: (loudly) Don’t drive through this neighborhood anymore.

I stop and back up again.

Me: I'll drive eherever I damn well please.

Her: Don’t drive in this neighborhood.

Me: I wish I didn't have to - the people in this neighborhood, like you, seem a bit forbidden and dangerous (I say with a devilish smile)

Her: What do you mean?

Me: (In my best Joey Tribiani impression I wink and say) "How you doin?" (and I drive away)

Her: Wait - what's your name?(she yells)

Here's a common scene when folks are driving through my neighborhood. In this scenario, I'm the pedestrian:

Me: (frantically waving arms) Stop! Stop!
Driver: What's your problem?
Me: (pointing to One-Way sign) You're going the wrong way!

Sadly, I'm not kidding.

Me: Is there a problem?

Her: You need to slow down.

Me: I was driving 30.

Her: It’s too fast.

Me: It’s the speed limit. Seriuosly, are you that stupid?

Her: Maybe we need to get it changed.

Me: Maybe you need to change your attitude.

I start to drive off again.

Her: (loudly) Don’t drive through this neighborhood anymore.

I stop and back up again.

Me: Excuse me. (with a little attitude this time)

Her: Don’t drive in this neighborhood.

Me: Until they pass a law that states who can and cannot drive in this neighborhood, I will continue to do so. And for your information, since I have nothing planned next month and I have to use a week of vacation time or lose it, I’ll be spending many hours driving up and down this particular street. If for no other reason, just to see if the theory is true that owners of pets often tend to look like them. Judging by the way you’re dressed, the way your dog looks and the stench coming from it, I’m inclined to think that you’ve taken the theory a step further and smell like your dog as well. (and in my best Cartman voice I yell…..’Respect My Authoritie!’)

Me: May I help you?

Her: You need to slow down.

Me: Excuse meow, I was only driving 30.

Her: It’s too fast.

Me: I realize in your slow paced mind, meow, that 30 may be fast, but to me it's just right.

Her: Maybe we need to get it changed.

Me: LOLOLOLO, you seriously, meow, think you can get anything changed around here? Who do you think you are? The, meow, mayors neices, cousins, sisters, mistress?

I start to drive off again.

Her: (loudly) Don’t drive through this neighborhood anymore.

I stop and back up again.

Me: Excuse meow. (with a little attitude this time)

Her: Don’t drive in this neighborhood.

Me: Unless you want to drive me and my 12 dependents, including grandpa, who is REALLY your type, meow, around all the time, I have to drive in this neighborhood. You see, meow, I just bought the house next door.

Her: You did?

I drive off for the last time.

Her: Have a nice day (she yells)

Me: Oh I intend to (I say to myself).

Oh this has been good for a laugh! I don't think I can say what would happen in my "neighborhood". Very rural, south GA Redneck country...hehe..but Z..I have my sons 94 Mazda with dual pipes REALLY loud with QUADS I could lend you...Why...I've had my own neighbors call the law on my kid for driving down our OWN DRIVEWAY! HAH! Then there is his 95 F150 with a 10' whiptail sporting the state flag way up high, but it's not real loud, other than the Quads again. Or...how bout my totally redneck Dodge 3/4 ton dually with Texas...(yeah Texas..that's where it came from) straight pipes and small glasspac...hit the pedal on that baby and she wouldn't have tried to talk to you..she'd have dived into the bushes along with her dog!

In NJ, it would go something like this:

Me: What's your problem, lady?

Her: You need to slow down.

Me: I was doin' the limit, whatcha talkin' bout?

Her: It’s too fast.

Me: Listen lady, I didn't post the freakin' sign!

Her: Maybe we need to get it changed.

Me: Yeah, bite me.

I start to drive off again.

Her: (loudly) Don’t drive through this neighborhood anymore.

I stop and back up again.

Me: I said, bite me.

Her: Don’t drive in this neighborhood.

Me: I live in this freakin' neighborhood. Why don't you and your freakin' dog get a freakin' life, eh?

Her: Have a nice day (she yells)

Me: Drop dead.


Of course, we really aren't that bad up here in NJ (Home of the Sopranos)...

When I dog bites you, you don't turn around and bite the dog!!! I think the lease should be the other way around.

In Mass:
Her: Slow down, you're driving too fast. Flips me the bird.
Me: Backs up, flips her the bird and mouths the words that go with the finger gesture.
Sadly this scenario probably happens every day here. I've spoken to many out of staters and they all say the same thing...Massachusetts drivers are the worst and they were petrified while driving in the Bay State.

In Mass:

Pam1027 - By "Mass" I thought you meant mass, like, Catholic Church mass". HELLO!! Where is my brain today?!?!

OK, if yours was an elitist, what is mine?

Neighbor walks dog through neighborhood on a leash. I have children that play in my yard so I ask them to not let the dog do his business in my yard. He gets all huffy and says "He's not hurting anything." "Maybe not, but children use my yard." Huffy, huffy stomps off. And, he still lets the dog go in the yard when he thinks I will not see him.

I see him again and ask, "Please do not use my yard." He starts yelling that it's no big deal and he's not hurting anything. So now I am really angry so I tell him, "Look, I have asked you nicely to keep your dog out of my yard, it is MY yard and I am telling you to keep your &*(%$#&&%$@ mutt out of my yard." Of course ----- nothing has changed.

What is the problem with these people, they won't let the animal go in their yard and get pissed when their neighbors don't want it in their yard either!!!!!!

Numerous animals seem to do their business in my yard these days. Mostly the neighborhood cats that are left to roam the streets. Although these critters are friendly, I don't like seeing their remnants in my yard when I'm mowing. I get totally frustrated.

Me: May I help you?

Her: You need to slow down.

Me: Sorry officer, I don’t have my glasses on today. So what does your radar say I was doing?

Her: It’s too fast.

Me: I definitely need new glasses.

Her: Maybe we need to get it changed.

Me: Well, do you have a particular optometrist in mind?

I start to drive off again.

Her: (loudly) Don’t drive through this neighborhood anymore without your glasses.

I stop and back up again.

Me: Excuse me, Oops I can’t see you, did I run over you?

Her: Don’t drive in this neighborhood.

Me: I live in this neighborhood so maybe we can meet again and talk about that optometrist of yours and maybe, SHOVE THIS PIECE OF TEXAN Z UP YOUR BLEEPING BLEEP!!!!!!!

Her: You do?

I drive off for the last time.

Her: Have a nice day (she Beams!!!)