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#125958 - 10/30/03 08:11 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Creditcop Offline
Diamond Poster
Creditcop
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,685
Indiana
Here is a great story for you.

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time,"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

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#125959 - 10/30/03 08:18 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
obx nut Offline
Gold Star
obx nut
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 304
Midwest
oh my gosh...that is just TOO funny!!!!!!
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If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

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#125960 - 10/30/03 08:32 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
DeeQ Offline
10K Club
DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,763
Turnpike Exit 10
Creditcop, that was great, I needed the laugh today!

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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#125961 - 10/30/03 08:35 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Anonymous
Unregistered

I'm so glad that was your experience and not mine!!!

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#125962 - 10/30/03 10:12 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
SMQ, CRCM Offline
Power Poster
SMQ, CRCM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,828
Between the lines
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NOLA is my Beach!

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#125963 - 10/30/03 10:16 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Creditcop Offline
Diamond Poster
Creditcop
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,685
Indiana
Here is another one.

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson, Stafford, Virginia


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#125964 - 10/30/03 10:44 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Brandy Osborne Offline
Platinum Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 660
KY
i would have died!!! and never gone in there again!!
_________________________
Practice, practice makes perfect,
Perfect is a fault, and in fault lines change

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#125965 - 10/30/03 11:28 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Anonymous
Unregistered

I think I would have done a lot more than not go in there again. I think I'd move out of that town (maybe even the state!!!!!)

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#125966 - 10/31/03 01:12 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
DeeQ Offline
10K Club
DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,763
Turnpike Exit 10
Oh my, makes my son yanking down my sweatpants in the middle of a parking lot look pretty tame!
_________________________
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#125967 - 10/31/03 02:15 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Creditcop Offline
Diamond Poster
Creditcop
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,685
Indiana
Here is another story from the great state of Michigan, where both my daughters were born at.

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and
asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


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#125968 - 10/31/03 02:18 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Creditcop Offline
Diamond Poster
Creditcop
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,685
Indiana
Here is 3 more stories to start your Friday off with.

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job? I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind
the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
looking
at
your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD


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#125969 - 10/31/03 03:08 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
SMQ, CRCM Offline
Power Poster
SMQ, CRCM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,828
Between the lines
Quote:

We had a female news anchor who


Who is now doing the WEEKLY weather in Podunk?
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NOLA is my Beach!

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#125970 - 10/31/03 03:32 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
LinMarie Offline
100 Club
LinMarie
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 243
This thread is hilarious! I was laughing so hard, I started to cry!

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#125971 - 10/31/03 04:15 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Creditcop Offline
Diamond Poster
Creditcop
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,685
Indiana
I have one more story.

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" Diane E. Amov


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#125972 - 10/31/03 05:13 PM Re: What was he thinking?!?!
Brandy Osborne Offline
Platinum Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 660
KY
i have to tell one on myself now... that i have no memory of therefore i am an innocent angel!
when i was like 4 my mom and i were in line at the store, and i reached up and patted the man in front of us on the behind... he turned around and glared at my mom, who looked at me and said "now why did you do that, we don't know him" and i looked up at my mom with a perfect angelic face and said "what mommy, i didn't do anything" she was sooo mad hehehe still makes me laugh! what a devil i was... i also locked my mom out of house on a winter morning when she went to warm up the car... then i waved at her as she was motioning for me to open the door, and then went back to eating my breakfast...
_________________________
Practice, practice makes perfect,
Perfect is a fault, and in fault lines change

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