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#1337437 - 02/04/10 03:48 PM Re: Funny things customers say! NotPerfect
Blade Scrapper Offline
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Blade Scrapper
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,912
Outside A Garage
I usually do that too. And I'm ops.
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#1337446 - 02/04/10 03:52 PM Re: Funny things customers say! NotPerfect
KC Danimal Offline
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KC Danimal
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Posts: 923
Kansas City
Several years ago I had a new customer who was an elderly lady go on and on for about 20 minutes about how she needed to get her checking statement on a monthly basis. I just smiled and let her rant and then said that I would personally guarantee that her statement would get mailed each month.
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#1337464 - 02/04/10 04:03 PM Re: Funny things customers say! NotPerfect
Spivol Offline
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Spivol
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Posts: 3,050
Tulsa, Ok
I agree Apache, that is a funny one. It always makes me smile when you are obviously open because you answer the phone and they still ask if you're open.

It's not hard to adjust your question to not look like an idiot. I have called businesses to see if they were open before and when they answer I always just ask what their hours of operation are.
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#1337484 - 02/04/10 04:20 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Spivol
ApacheBelle72 Offline
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Posts: 652
Another funny. A little girl (employees child) called and said "I need to talk to my Mommy") I asked her who is your Mom. With a discussed tone she replied "You should know - she lives there!!!"

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#1337500 - 02/04/10 04:31 PM Re: Funny things customers say! ApacheBelle72
NotPerfect Offline
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Posts: 682
Midwest
Had a guy try to tell me he was Ronald Reagan's son and that he was having a footlocker of some sort delivered to the bank and wanted to know if it arrived and what we did with it. I was a newbie banker at the time. The guy was a regular so the other banker thought it would be nice to let me deal with him.

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#1337502 - 02/04/10 04:32 PM Re: Funny things customers say! chenin
GuitarDude Offline
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GuitarDude
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Posts: 5,925
So Cal
Originally Posted By: chenin
When I worked in lending I had a lady that wanted a loan to buy a Chevy Taco. It took me a minute to figure out that she meant a Tahoe... confused would you like salsa with that???


Is a Chevy Taco anything like a Dodge Burro-cuda? laugh
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#1337505 - 02/04/10 04:33 PM Re: Funny things customers say! GuitarDude
Spivol Offline
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Spivol
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Tulsa, Ok
One in the same, GD...one in the same.
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#1337531 - 02/04/10 04:53 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Spivol
ApacheBelle72 Offline
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We have a Suggestion Box in our lobby. It says "Tell it to the President" One suggestions was.....Bring our troops home now.

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#1337539 - 02/04/10 04:55 PM Re: Funny things customers say! ApacheBelle72
A_G Offline
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Posts: 18,989
laugh!!
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#1337545 - 02/04/10 04:58 PM Re: Funny things customers say! ApacheBelle72
Bacon Boy Offline
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Posts: 13,244
Stuck w/Avatar
::helping client balance checking account with a register::

"Well, how can I be overdrawn when the numbers keep going up?"

Those are negative numbers. The more you spend, the more overdrawn you become and the higher the negative number gets?

"So, I don't have that money in my account?"

No.
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#1337590 - 02/04/10 05:43 PM Re: Funny things customers say! NotPerfect
Spook-a-Muffin Offline
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Elm Street - ish ♥
" Yes someone from the bank called me but I dont know who it was"

Well sir, can i have your name?

"Why do you need my name?"

So I can find out who called you sir.

---silence---

Sir, your name?

"Why do you need to know my name!?"

So I can identify who called you sir.

---click---
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#1337613 - 02/04/10 05:56 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Spook-a-Muffin
sopuno Offline
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Posts: 133
lost in paperwork
While working for a mega-institution a hoity toity customer comes in and wants to deposit her Canadian currency into her account....

"I apologize but we are unable to directly deposit your Canadian Currency into your account. We will send it to our international department for the currency conversion."

Customer "Well aren't you guys a bank???"

"Yes ma'am but we are only able to accempt U.S. Currency at our teller windows."

Customer, in a huffy tone "It's not like it's Chinese, it's just Canadian money!!"

"Again, ma'am we are only able to accept U.S. Currency at our teller windows."

I think it was completely lost on her...

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#1337615 - 02/04/10 05:57 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Spook-a-Muffin
Ready to Retire Offline
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Living in the land of Oz
Back in my teller days I had a customer I had a customer bring me in a whole dishpan full of wrapped pennies. Then he proceeded to tell me that everytime he and his wife had sex he threw a penny in a jug and this was the result. The really funny part was he was the spitting image of Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard and his wife was this little tiny thing who probably didnt' weigh 100 lb.

I had a terrible time keeping a straight face while I counted the money and the minute he was out the door we all just dissolved with laughter.

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#1337619 - 02/04/10 06:03 PM Re: Funny things customers say! sopuno
sopuno Offline
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lost in paperwork
We had a lady that traveled everywhere with her bird. While in the drive-thru one day, she chastised a teller because the bird was trying to talk to her from the back seat and the teller had not responded.

Same lady was in a personal banker office with the bird. I guess it was misbehaving so she lifted up her shirt and stuffed the bird in,then continued talking to the PB...we called her crazy bird lady.

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#1337625 - 02/04/10 06:08 PM Re: Funny things customers say! sopuno
dknutson Offline
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Originally Posted By: sopuno
Customer "Well aren't you guys a bank???"


My favorite question of all time!

Back in my teller days: Me: "Is there anything else for you today?"

Customer: "How about a million dollars? Hahaha"

In my head: "I've never heard that one before..."

I actually went out and got a stack of $1,000,000 bills to give to people when they asked that question. The looks on their faces were priceless! laugh

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#1337634 - 02/04/10 06:14 PM Re: Funny things customers say! dknutson
The Minion Offline
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The Minion
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I always got a kick out of the ones when asked how they would like their change, responded "in cash, please"
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#1337642 - 02/04/10 06:18 PM Re: Funny things customers say! dknutson
Neytiri Offline
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Neytiri
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Pandora
"You must love working around all this money every day."

Bwaahahaaaaa yeah right. We explained that it is just like paper to us, and that it is a hassle balancing it, keeping it orderly, shipping in/out to branches & Fed, etc.

Guy didn't believe us. He said he would work at a bank in a heartbeat just to be around the $$$. Silly man.

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#1337644 - 02/04/10 06:19 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Spook-a-Muffin
Becka Marr Offline
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Becka Marr
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Originally Posted By: Spook-a-Muffin
" Yes someone from the bank called me but I dont know who it was"

Well sir, can i have your name?

"Why do you need my name?"

So I can find out who called you sir.

---silence---

Sir, your name?

"Why do you need to know my name!?"

So I can identify who called you sir.

---click---


This reminds me of a few times when our Collection department has left messages trying to reach a delinquent account holder, and then gets a call from an angry non-customer screaming about how we have the wrong number and we need to stop harassing them or they'll sue... But the non-customer can never identify which collector left the message, or refuses to give the name of our customer we were trying to reach, so we have no idea which account to remove their number from...
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#1337809 - 02/04/10 07:53 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Spook-a-Muffin
lynnway Offline
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Posts: 212
Junior High
Originally Posted By: Spook-a-Muffin
" Yes someone from the bank called me but I dont know who it was"

Well sir, can i have your name?

"Why do you need my name?"

So I can find out who called you sir.

---silence---

Sir, your name?

"Why do you need to know my name!?"

So I can identify who called you sir.

---click---



Yes, Yes, Yes! When I used to 'play' operator, that happened all the time. Thing is, they actually want you go and find out who called them! If you do that, who's going to answer the phone?
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#1337856 - 02/04/10 08:31 PM Re: Funny things customers say! lynnway
Spook-a-Muffin Offline
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Posts: 8,528
Elm Street - ish ♥
We had a customer just moments ago bring a treasury check to deposit into his account. But REFUSED to endorse the back, he just wouldn't do it, no matter what we told him.


"Ya'll do this to me every damn time, i dont see why i have to sign my check, it's going in to my g** damn account."


I just smiled, said sorry, and sent the check back to him.

He had his son "hastily" speed away in their run down truck, smoke coming from the tail pipe as they both im sure acquired whip lash from that sudden burst of speed.
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#1337880 - 02/04/10 08:47 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Spook-a-Muffin
DD Regs Offline
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DD Regs
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,132
Somewhere in the middle
Back in my teller days,

Me to Customer "How would you like your money back"

Customer "Any size, it doesn't matter"

Me to Customer, "I'm sorry, they are all the same size, just different denominations"

The majority did not get it.
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#1337886 - 02/04/10 08:49 PM Re: Funny things customers say! DD Regs
Bailey. Offline
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Posts: 4,558
that's because your wit is just.too.damn.intellectual whistle

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#1337991 - 02/04/10 10:01 PM Re: Funny things customers say! DD Regs
GuitarDude Offline
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So Cal
Originally Posted By: DD Regs
Back in my teller days,

Me to Customer "How would you like your money back"

Customer "Any size, it doesn't matter"

Me to Customer, "I'm sorry, they are all the same size, just different denominations"

The majority did not get it.


Different denominations? So you had Presbyterian, Lutheran, Pentecostal, etc.? laugh
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#1338006 - 02/04/10 10:17 PM Re: Funny things customers say! Bailey.
NeBanker Offline
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 410
We had a customer repeatedly call and left several messages that it was God d@mn ridiculous we were not answering the phone. Her final message said that we were dirty b!tches that needed to go back to school and that if she didn’t get a call back in 10 God d@mn minutes she was coming to get all of her money. I guess she thought the bank was open at 730 on Saturday evenings. We got some good laughs listening to the voicemails Monday morning.

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#1338007 - 02/04/10 10:18 PM Re: Funny things customers say! GuitarDude
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Posts: 135
Texas
Had a customer accuse us of holding some of his checks so that we could wait until he didn't have the money in his account to cover them. That way we could charge him more NSF fees....Huh?

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