When I was home this past weekend I went to visit my Aunt. Last December she fell and broke her hip. She was having some 'Sundowners' in the hospital, but got through it. She went home (with 24 hour care) and then in April went into an assisted living institution. I was home over the Memorial Day weekend and went to see her and took her to my sister's house for a cookout. She was doing great - walking with slight assistance from a cane, but seemed in good spirits and mental health (although she was obviously slipping some).

In June she fell twice and was hospitalized. They didn't think she was goint to make it, but she pulled through. She had some bleeding in the brain, but it stopped. She was moved to the nursing home side of the health care center she was staying in. Things progressed - she had her 86th birthday in July - and then her mental capacity started slipping quickly in August. At one point she didn't know who my brother was (he's her POA and executor of her estate). My aunt and uncle never had children.

When I was visiting her with my mother and my sister on Saturday, she knew who we were, but was out of it on a lot of other issues. She was concerned because my grandparents were thinking of selling the farm (they died in the 70's) and that her husband wasn't around (he died in 2005). She knew she was 86, but couldn't remember how old her parents were. It was very sad and she was insisting that she come home with us. When we went to leave my mother told her she had to stay there and wait for my uncle, but she said she wasn't staying there. We had to get a nurse to distract her while we punched in the code to the door to get out and make a run for it. I still feel horrible that I didn't get to say goodbye.

This is my first real experience with Alzheimers. I now have a better understanding what people go through that take care of their elderly relatives who have this awful disease. They did do a CT scan last week on my aunt to see if she had had a stroke. She hadn't, but they stated her brain has visibly shrunk sincer her previous CT scan in June.

Sorry that this is so long. I just needed to get this off of my chest. I just hope she's still around the next time I get to go back home.

Skittles. I had tears in my eyes as I read this. I watched my grandfather go throught this about 5 years ago. He had the disease for years. For years my grandmother vowed to keep him at home but when he was found one too many times wandering to busy streets and couldn't tell folks who he was or where he lived, it was too much and he went into a nursing home. It almost killed my grandmother to have to do that. This was someone who lived with me (growing up) several months/year when they weren't in Florida so we had an EXTREMELY close relationsip. While not all there, he did attend my wedding and we had one last dance and it meant the world to me. To this day, I miss him so very much. My grandmother is with us, just celebrated her 87th birthday in July, sharp as a tack. So skittles, I'm so very sorry to hear about your Aunt. I know first hand what a horrible disease Alzheimers is, so very, very sad....

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. How heartbreaking it must be. My 86 year old mother lives with me, and some days I think she is losing it. She will forget things that we have just talked about, or think things happened that didn't. Not too bad yet, but I think we are on the verge of something. You will be in my prayers.

Here is an informational website from the Natl Inst on Aging.

http://www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers

I am sorry, it is truly sad...

Skittles,
I too am living this...with my grandmother. Sigh, it feels as though we keep losing her.

Hers too, came on suddenly, after a small stroke and then open heart surgery to perform a bi-pass (darned those clogged arteries). It's been since then (4 years now) that she is gradually getting worse. She is young - in her 70s. Too young.

But this weekend her and my grandpa danced at my sister's wedding and she didn't miss a beat.

My prayers are with you, my friend.

I know what you are going through. I am in the same situation with my grandmother. We knew it was time for a nursing home when she was lost in her own home. I would come to visit and she would ask me when she was going home. I would try to tell her she was home and she thought I was being nice by saying my home was her home.

My mother in law had altheimers for several years before her cancer took her. She would look at a photo of herself and not know who it was. Even when we had her look in the mirror, then at the photo. Strange how that disease works.

It can be heart wrenching to watch those you love disappear before you with a disease like Alzheimers. My grandfather, his brother and sister all had alzheimers and it was the worst experience watching my grandfather go from king of the world to me to not even knowing where he was or who he was. It was a blessing when he finally passed.
I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Skittles I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt. My step-dad's Mom has dimensia, and it's very similar to altheimers. She has no idea who we are, but she can tell you every detail of a story from her childhood. It's so strange how that works. Sometimes we have to just laugh about it or we'll cry. All you can do is try to make them comfortable and remember all of the good times for the both of you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

We visited my mil this summer and I'm convinced that she is either early Alzheimers or dementia, but my husband and sil are in denial. She had trees in the yard that were there 2 years ago, when I asked when she cut them down she said, "don't you remember, when we put the pool in". Well they put the pool in about 18 years ago. There were alot of other things and they just don't want to think anything is wrong. She lives alone and still drives at 86. It is very scarey and so very sad. Wishing you the best.

Sing A Little, we had a similar situation with my mil. One morning, she would wake up and not know any of us or couldn't remember how to make a pot of coffee; the next day no problem. But, have relatives come over and start talking about the old days, and she was right there, all cylinders firing. So, we had lots of visitors, because then we all would laugh and feel good for a short while.

MOML and his sister were in denial about it. MIL should have gone in for evaluation at least a year earlier. But, if it had been my mother, and I would have forced the issue by making the appointment myself and dragging her in, MOML and his sister would not do that to their mom, so they waited until it got bad.

It's sad to say, but that cancer was the best thing that happened, or we would still be watching her slip away. She would have had to been put in a facility, and SIL would not be able to handle the guilt that she could no longer take care of her mom.

Skittles I can so relate, only mine is my mother. She's not considered alzheimer's, they define her's as dementia and she's had some problems with it for many years...but it gets progressively worse. My Aunt had it for as long as I can remember...it was a blessing when she passed.

One thing's for sure..the brain is an amazingly complicated organ...to put it mildly. It's tough...really tough.

Another possibility could be hardening of the arteries. My FIL has this. We were talking about something the other day and he started talking about what President Nixon should do. He remembers things from years ago clearly, but has sometimes trouble with what he can/cannot eat. He also lives alone, but has help through the state that comes in several times a week, for just an hour at a time. The driving would concern me. My FIL was getting more and more erratic with his driving. Our son would no longer ride with him. He ended up being in the hospital while they diagnosed what was wrong with him and the doctors pulled his liscense. To have it reinstated, he needed to go to a Seniors Driving Course and test, which cost over $300, and we all convinced him that he wouldn't pass. Since he was diagnosed, MRI's and ultrasounds have shown no further deterioration mostly due to medication, diet and exercise. It is somewhat treatable, but the sooner they are diagnosed, the better off they will be. If we had realized what was going on just one month sooner, his one carotid artery would not be closed and he would be in much better shape. Communication is a must. The family has to sit down with her and find out everything that's going on, then take her to the doctor and sit with both of them to figure out what's happening.

Skittles,

My heart goes out to you. I have been dealing with my Mother's form of Alzheimer's for almost five years now. She has what is known as Lewy body Dementia, and as the only Son and her POA, I have been intimately involved in her care over the years. The sad part for me is that my Mom is still young at 74 and was diagnosed about six months after she had finally retired from her job at 69. So just as she was getting ready to enjoy her retirement years, she was hit with this.
Visiting my Mom is a sad experience now. She sometimes knows who I am but may think I am a kid, or in college. She is in a Nursing home about 45 miles from my house. Often, on the ride home I cry.
If there is any silver lining from an experience such as this it is that I have certainly realized that you need to enjoy life. I no longer worry about all the insignificant things, and I try to make sure that I do some of the things that I always wanted to do. My Mother spent most of her adult life making sure her kids were happy and healthy. I am making sure that on whatever level she can still comprehend that she knows we all are.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and the stories of what you have been through. My grandparents had dimensia (spelling?), but I was a teenager and it didn't affect me. I really worry about my mother. She (mom is 81) goes to visit every other day and also takes care of my father (almost 85). Dad's health isn't good, although his mind is still fairly sharp. I'm sure mom wonders if this is going to happen to her. It's just so sad. I hope that I am able to enjoy my retirment years and keep my mind intact when I am in my 80's.

Again - thanks to everyone. Sometimes it just helps to get the words out.

Just wanted to update...my Gram (one of my best friend) lost her battle with this aweful disease this morning. Anyone with advice on writing a eulogy?

Wow...I am so sorry to hear of your loss! The only advice I can offer (and it's coming from someone who hasn't had to go through the loss of a grandma, yet) is to speak from the heart!

Your family is in my prayers!

I'm so sorry for your loss, QCL. Prayers are going out for all of you.

Keep it simple. What did you admire most about her? What will you remember most vividly? Remember the happy times and your love for her will shine through the sadness.

God bless you as you go through this. It's been 10 years since I lost my Mawmaw. She was my best friend and I still miss her and think of her every day.

I'm so sorry, QCL. I know you're going to do a great job writing the eulogy.

QCL, I'm so sorry you lost your Gram today. You and your family are in my prayers.

My prayers are with you and your family at this tough time. Grandparents are very special people in our lives.

Sorry QCL, truly.
I believe that my mom is beginning to show signs of this disease. She is to be evaluated this week.
My prayers for you and your family.

Very sorry for your loss.

so very sorry for your loss. When my mother died, I was totally surprised by my younger brother's friends. A few of them got up and spoke about how great my mom was and she always made them feel at home and was like a 2nd mother to them. That really touched me. One of my mother's expresssions/songs to all her kids and grandkids and great grandkids was "I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck". All the grandkids got up at her viewing and sang it at her casket - brought me to tears. I'm sure you will think of the appropriate things to say - as was mentioned above - just speak from your heart and all will know what a great person she was. That is the best tribute you can give her.