I am so glad you were able to sit and have a discussion with her, even though it was eons ago, I remember being a teenage girl and not wanting to discuss anything with my mom because I didn't feel she could understand how it was to be a teen at that time. Keep up the good work and if all else fails send her to Munque, I have seen her mothering in action!! She straightened mine up right away!!

I don't know, EE. The thought of disappointing my mother was always what kept me in line. I wasn't afraid of anything other than having to face her and see the disappointment on her face.

I will always make it at least a little bit about me in those discussions.

But having other things that are simple facts as your pointed out are excellent things for a teen to think about...and they are not things that you, personally are holding over her head like a grounding or taking away a phone, etc.

I'll have to echo kms and the other poster with the really strict parent. I could NEVER talk to my parents about anything.

I'd just continue to keep the communication channels open. She sounds like she is just trying to see how far she can push you. ((hugs))

Other options:

Sealing her in her room with only a computer for schooling.
Convent
Chain Gang
MunQue's house

LOL @ Hunny!

lol, send her to my house! One of my middle kids has been a pain in the butt lately, attitude, disrespect, not listening, half-arsing her chores and what not, so the night before last, she came home and ate dinner (after baseball practice)no homemade mac and cheese because that's her favorite, just the basics for little miss badars, a pork chop and some corn. I told her that when she was done eating she was getting her butt spanked with the "find jesus spoon" and sent to bed, so she snuck off to bed as soon as she was done eating without telling me she was done, so I had to go wake the girl up, have her climb down off the top bunk, spank her (two swats because she tried to skip out on it), then send her back to sleeping.

Yesterday, she's the sweetest little girl in the world.

Taking stuff away (like her social life) worked for my older girl, spanking didn't.

Taking stuff away doesn't work with the next oldest, spanking does.

I'll have to let you know as the rest of them get older...

But I can tell you that my oldest 2 think I'm pretty scary when I'm mad and they sure do try not to tick me off. So it depends on the kid, hopefully all yours needed was a good open conversation, if not, then you just keep trying until something does. Good luck Cheekee!

Again....kick her.

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To top it all off, there are people at school openly bullying and harrassing her, but since nothing is physical, the administration won't do anything.

That is horrible!!! Especially after the suicide of the NJ teen after being bullied/harrassed. I thought there was supposed to be ZERO tolerance!!! does the school/school district have a written policy regarding this type of behaviour?

Yes, And after this latest round, 2 girls did get in house suspension. But it's taken all year for that.

There is only a day and a half of school left, so we're arn't really worrying about things right now. And she'll be a senior next year, so i would hope that things calm down.

Regardless of modern psychological fads. I do not believe any child is required to tolerate bullying in any fashion. My reaction may very well inappropraite to many, but I taught my kids to end the bullying. Physically if necessary. I made it plain to them that they might well be in trouble at school for such action, but as long as they were defending themselves or an innoccent, they would not be in trouble with me. I also gave them the skills by which to achieve this goal. I hate bullies, with a passion.
I am so very sorry for what your child has been exposed to and I hope she can understand that those people are the lowest denomination of society and not worthy of her concern. She is so much better than they are.
I hope that things are better for her next year.

You sound like a pretty great parent, in my opinion.

My girls are 6.5 and 8 and are in a Montessori school here; there is a no-tolerance policy and it is enforced to a T. The school ends with 6th grade; I do NOT look forward to them attending public schools, which I find to be seriously lacking in this area. I grew up bullied and threatened, even into college.

Bank BB-Sounds on par to me. She used to fight back- was even suspended for it in Jr. High, but her self esteem has gotten so low the last few years that she doesn't even do that anymore.

I'm just hoping that with College she'll realize that she shouldn't care so much what other people think.

Loralie, I hope that she can understand that her self worth is not determined by others or their opinions. Especially not by those that must gain self worth at the expense of others. She gets to decide who she is, they do not. I really do pray for her and for you. I wish that I could do more.

Definitely something that I'd have addressed no matter if it was a year or 30 minutes from school being out for the summer! The school officials would have solved the issue after my bringing it to their attention. Bullying is uncalled for! A lesson I quickly learned from my mother..never let someone bully you around cause if she got wind of it...our bottoms where busted for not standing up for ourselves! Got licks in middle school for standing up (fighting) to a girl and kicked off the bus when I was in HS for standing up (fighting)to a guy! Anyways, I do hope that the bullies don't carry over into next year and that what she's already suffered doesn't hinder her this summer!

Cheek -

I met a woman in one of my classes at community college this semester. She is in her mid to late 20's. When she was 18 or 19, she got arrested. She turned herself around, but because of that conviction, she cannot pursue becoming a nurse.

I agree with the others about having calm and rational discussions with her. One thing I found was that I haven't really spent a lot of one on one fun time with my boys once they hit their late teens. Sometimes doing that opens up lines of communication.

Search Me- I have brought talked to the school. The way the administration works, is there is an Ast principal for each grade, and he deals with the discipline for that grade, but when he was doing nothing for her, I called the Principal- And he just passed it back off to the Ast. Principal. If things get bad again next year I will be throwing a fit. a BIG fit.

We've talked about her switching schools, but she has been in this school system since Kindergarten and the few friends she does have are here, so she doesn't want to leave.