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#1732657 - 08/20/12 01:40 PM
What is Sex?
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 36
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Ok. My 4th grade daughter asked the question last night. Any age appropriate answers to this? Thought we had more time before this came up!
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#1732661 - 08/20/12 01:49 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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Mine started that stuff pretty early. Between TV and the internet, it comes up early. And a 9-10 year old has been exposed to more than we like to think.
I never made up fairy tales. My answer was simple enough.... "Its part of how we get babies, why do you ask?" Then you kind of let them decide how much they are really ready to hear. Its not the only approach, or even the best. But it worked for us... Good luck
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#1732663 - 08/20/12 01:51 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Power Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,594
Easy Street
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Ouch! I don't envy you.
I think I answered this one with, "an act of love between two adults."
When answering questions like that it's best to give vague answers but not to shame them or the topic.
I also never gave more information than what was asked. Hopefully that answer will keep them happy for awhile.
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#1732693 - 08/20/12 02:39 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,984
FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
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4th and 5th grades were the years they have the meetings with girls and boys separately explaining about bodily changes at school. Our pediatrician has a series of books written for this age group that explains with cartoons the various functions of the body and sex while telling them that just because your body may be getting ready - you're not old enough yet. She also had a book for parents. I thought they were quite good and even though kid wonder was embarrassed, she understood some things at school a little better - like the 5th grader who was pregnant.
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#1732706 - 08/20/12 03:08 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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100 Club
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 125
NJ
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5th grader, oh my head... My daughter is 9 and going into 4th.
We've had some of the Robie Harris books since she was about 5. We're on the 3rd in the series, (I wonder if those are the ones you mean with the cartoons?) They are great - very matter-of-fact, no opinions or glossing over of anything. Obviously you need to read them WITH your child - a child's imagination can be a funny thing, but the books are a great jumping off point for conversation. (I refuse to be the Mom whose child is too afraid/nervous/uncomfortable to talk to me.)
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#1732728 - 08/20/12 03:30 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,984
FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
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Yes, I read with Kid Wonder. It's still embarrassing for her. The book for parents helped the parent understand how to bring it up and discuss with various aged children. Was a good primer.
Now, at 15, we talk about anything. It really helps to lay that groundwork.
I believe their has been at least one pregnant girl in her class each year since then. But each one is a learning experience for the girls around them. KW has learned that guys this age don't stick around when things get rough and that the girls are really on their own. KW sees first hand how difficult it is for these girls. I try to stress that when she tells me about the latest.
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#1732755 - 08/20/12 03:50 PM
Re: What is Sex?
waldensouth
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 36
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On the Robie Harris books - do you have one you would recommend for a 4th grader? almost 10. Our library has several of these. Thanks!
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#1732824 - 08/20/12 05:19 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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100 Club
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 125
NJ
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The Harris books aren't really strict in their age grouping, but the "Who Has What" book is definitely for littler kids, Then "It's Not the Stork."
We have "It's so Amazing" for my daughter, and it seems to be pretty dead on for her (she's 9,) and the book that was recommended to me originally is for about ages 10 and up - "It's perfectly Normal."
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#1733656 - 08/22/12 03:06 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,020
Land of Enchantment
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My son is 9 and he has not asked the sex question yet, although, we had to read his school's handbook Monday night which has all the school rules and information and one of the topics was sexual harrasment. We, of course, have discussed that topic before, but never used the term "sexual harrasment" so I just had to explain again to him what that was. It was not taken any further than that by him ..... whew!
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#1733717 - 08/22/12 04:14 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Bones
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10K Club
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,390
Cheeseheadland
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My son is 9 and he has not asked the sex question yet, although, we had to read his school's handbook Monday night which has all the school rules and information and one of the topics was sexual harrasment. We, of course, have discussed that topic before, but never used the term "sexual harrasment" so I just had to explain again to him what that was. It was not taken any further than that by him ..... whew! I remember when this portion of the manual covered this by simply saying, "no romancing in the halls".
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#1733733 - 08/22/12 04:34 PM
Re: What is Sex?
#Just Jay
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,020
Land of Enchantment
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My son is 9 and he has not asked the sex question yet, although, we had to read his school's handbook Monday night which has all the school rules and information and one of the topics was sexual harrasment. We, of course, have discussed that topic before, but never used the term "sexual harrasment" so I just had to explain again to him what that was. It was not taken any further than that by him ..... whew! I remember when this portion of the manual covered this by simply saying, "no romancing in the halls". That's probably the middle school and high school version.
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#1735159 - 08/25/12 04:31 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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100 Club
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 108
IL
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American Girl has a good book "The Body Book" it covers all that embarrassing body changes and puberty stuff, but no sex. Reading that type of book has always seemed to help my daughter understand, and the American Girl "self-help" type books for 9-13 years olds is wonderful. as far as sex goes, my daughter, while not always the most mature, is extremely intelligent, and has never been one of those kids you can gloss over stuff with. She knew that sperm and eggs made babies, she just couldn't figure out how the sperm got there, so i had to actually tell her how things fit, etc. Her exact response- "EWW. Why would you do that? Thats gross." lol.
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#1735713 - 08/28/12 02:14 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 832
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My Big Guy came to me in 5th grade, the night before he was starting Sex Ed. He liked to be prepared, didn't want to look dumb. It was a Sunday night and I was cutting out holiday decorations for my 2nd graders' class party. Talk about being surprised! I explained how a woman is built different than a man. He has seen me getting dressed before, so he thought he knew until I explained men and women fit together like puzzle pieces. The look on his face was priceless."You mean you have a hole?!?" Umm, yes son. "Thanks Mommy." As soon as he was finished asking questions, I droped the whole thing. I only gave him as much info as he wanted. When he shut down, I stopped. Big Guy is almost 20 and still talks to both of us fairly openly. It's pretty cool. Unfortunately, Little Man is very quiet about everything. I never know what he's thinking.
Good luck sumbarr.
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#1735769 - 08/28/12 03:09 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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10K Club
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Posts: 13,965
TN
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My son was 8 when he asked. I stammered and told him he was too young. Then he said he wanted to know what it was so he didn't 'accidentally do it'. I got a book from the library and had him read it. He told me it made him uncomfortable.
Last edited by Duchess Skittles; 08/28/12 05:02 PM. Reason: And yet another typo
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#1735823 - 08/28/12 04:56 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 682
Midwest
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I think my sister "accidently" did it three times. Granted, I love my nieces and nephew, it's the baby daddys that I don't care for.
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#1735889 - 08/28/12 06:17 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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10K Club
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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LOL @ NP!
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#1736344 - 08/29/12 06:34 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 729
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We own a cattle ranch so my kids know all about breeding, but my son when he was in 2nd grade asked me what sex was - I told him you know when the bull breeds the cow - basically that is sex. He disagreed and argued and said that is not it and would not believe me when I told him it was. I finally just dropped it and he never asked again. Not sure what he had pictured in that little mind! (Don't think I want to know!)
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#1736477 - 08/29/12 10:41 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Snowgirl
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Gold Star
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 336
CA
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We own a cattle ranch so my kids know all about breeding, but my son when he was in 2nd grade asked me what sex was - I told him you know when the bull breeds the cow - basically that is sex. He disagreed and argued and said that is not it and would not believe me when I told him it was. I finally just dropped it and he never asked again. Not sure what he had pictured in that little mind! (Don't think I want to know!) Snowgirl, we have a cattle ranch too (the cattle are only a part of our menagerie). Our kids knew about procreation from the get go. Like my mother in law always said, "animals don't pull the shades."
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#1736554 - 08/30/12 12:58 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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I learned about it like everyone else.....comic books! That Lois Lane...... hubba hubba!
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#1736958 - 08/30/12 08:29 PM
Re: What is Sex?
Lake Side
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Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,626
State of confusion
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My son learned about the birds and the bees in 4th grade, at school. They start teaching that as 'special topics' in our school district at that age. Nothing too descriptive but the basics.
But believe me, there were enough kids there that knew just enough to fill in the blanks, and they were uncomfortably accurate in their descriptions. So my son, got to know the 'ins and outs' so to speak at that age.
My advice, is to give a little information, and listen carefully to the follow up quesions, that will tell you how much more they already know (or think they know) so that you know how much more you need to correct them on and explain. Good luck! We had a pregnant 5th grader in our district too...
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