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#1913629 - 04/10/14 08:42 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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Bankbb1, PITA
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
There is really no controlling mom. Its more a matter of trying to out guess her. And most of that comes from experience after the fact. For instance dont just let mom get up at a restaraunt because you think, or because she says she needs to go to the restroom.
Why? Because she may sit down with strangers on the way to the bathroom and tell one of them they have a really large behind. So ok, lesson learned there. smile
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#1913635 - 04/10/14 08:48 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
edAudit Offline
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tell one of them they have a really large behind.

Could be that they do not know this fact and she is providing a much needed community service.
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#1913637 - 04/10/14 08:52 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
It is a something she has really taken to heart. When we have her in public places, we try to steer her away from those that are booty enhanced. But I'm telling you, for a little, tiny women, she is really quick over a short distance and is sometimes strongely motivated to share the message.
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#1913676 - 04/10/14 11:49 PM Re: Caring for our parents Bankbb1, PITA
Truffle Royale Offline

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Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
It is a something she has really taken to heart. When we have her in public places, we try to steer her away from those that are booty enhanced. But I'm telling you, for a little, tiny women, she is really quick over a short distance and is sometimes strongely motivated to share the message.
Could you please NOT do that without a spew warning BB1!!! Holy carp. I can just picture 6'+ you trying to steer someone the size of my 4'10" mother away from a unsuspecting booty target. I can't stop giggling at the mental image. Sorry...but I think we all needed a good chortle so thank you. laugh

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#1913697 - 04/11/14 12:35 PM Re: Caring for our parents Bankbb1, PITA
Elwood P. Dowd Offline
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Next to Harvey
Quote:
she may sit down with strangers on the way to the bathroom and tell one of them they have a really large behind


Remind me never to turn my back on your Mom. wink

The filters are gone; they say what they always wanted to say.
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#1913701 - 04/11/14 12:57 PM Re: Caring for our parents edAudit
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Originally Posted By: EdAudit
Dad never showed mom how to write checks.

Well mom has a memory issue and quite possibly dad showed her how several times just like the 50 times I did the past month with her asking each time can you show me how to write checks.


Ed...be careful on this one. My dad always paid the bills, although my mother could write a check. Having said that, at some point she started adding extra zero's...NOT a good thing!!!

Needless to say, I took over the check-writing real quick and in a hurry for her and for my Aunt,who I think I mentioned, gave tons of money away to scammers before I found out about it. frown
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#1913716 - 04/11/14 01:36 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
edAudit Offline
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I took over the check book already.

she will not give money to anyone 'even the ones that she is supposed to give it to.
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#1913721 - 04/11/14 01:43 PM Re: Caring for our parents edAudit
RR Joker Offline
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laugh
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#1913756 - 04/11/14 02:48 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
Originally Posted By: Truffle Royale
Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
It is a something she has really taken to heart. When we have her in public places, we try to steer her away from those that are booty enhanced. But I'm telling you, for a little, tiny women, she is really quick over a short distance and is sometimes strongely motivated to share the message.
Could you please NOT do that without a spew warning BB1!!! Holy carp. I can just picture 6'+ you trying to steer someone the size of my 4'10" mother away from a unsuspecting booty target. I can't stop giggling at the mental image. Sorry...but I think we all needed a good chortle so thank you. laugh


Oh its watch worthy, I promise! The TV people would pay good money for it as a reality show. We have been lucky so far in that people are both understanding and have a nice sense of humor about it. I am sure that we have made someones day with a good story to tell. smile
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#1913786 - 04/11/14 03:16 PM Re: Caring for our parents RR Sarah
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Originally Posted By: RR Sarah
I don't have children so my niece thinks that she's going to take care of me when I am old. I told her not to worry and just put me in a comfortable room with cable TV, an internet connection and my Kindle and I will be fine.


Homes for the elderly need to catch up on technology quickly. I cannot see the baby boomers choosing a retirement/nursing home without wifi. In my MIL's nursing home, which is top quality, you can't even get a decent cellphone connection.
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#1913793 - 04/11/14 03:23 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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That'll happen when WiFi becomes a Medicare benefit. eek

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#1913795 - 04/11/14 03:26 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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OK
I always wonder how old people will sound 60 years from now when they're pining for the "old music" played by Snoop Dogg or Wu Tang Clan.
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#1913799 - 04/11/14 03:35 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
I got strange looks from a 20 something this morning because I had the roof open, the windows down and Black Sabbath banging away on the car radio....
So I guess I'm there. laugh
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#1913814 - 04/11/14 03:45 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
RR Joker Offline
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I'm right there with you, BB!
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#1914122 - 04/14/14 02:04 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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Has the cold front not come through OK yet? It's chilly here in the Lone Star.
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#1914152 - 04/14/14 03:24 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
It is snowing outside in OKC right now. It was 88 yesterday.
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#1914195 - 04/14/14 04:02 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
fun grandma Offline
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This thread is awesome. My mom is in the beginning stages of Alzheimers. She finally is somewhat admitting it also and agreed to start taking medication for it.
Looking back, I'm sure it started a few years ago. She is at the point that if you do not know her you can have a conversation and probably not realize there is an issue.
I feel bad because I'm 3 1/2 hrs away and my brother drives truck and is only home every other weekend which is 4 hrs away. Just far enough that we can't go up for a day to help out. My dad has taken over quite abit of the stuff, paying bills, mailing cards and quite abit of the cooking.
The issue is my dad has back issues, so he is frustrated that he can't do alot of things he used to be able to.
Did finally convince her to get lifeline, that was a struggle.

Anyway, thanks for this thread, helps reading what others struggles are and also can get some good ideas from it.

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#1914246 - 04/14/14 05:09 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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fun, look into services in your parents' area like Meals on Wheels, visiting nurse or similar services. Good for them and reassuring for you and your brother.

Meals on Wheels is particularly good because you know they'll get a hot meal and be checked up on in a very easy going manner. There is a cost but it's usually tiered to the recipient's abilities.

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#1914252 - 04/14/14 05:19 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
Finding help with meals is really big! We keep mom and dad stocked up on good paper plates too. For the promary care giver peing able to just eat and throw everything away is a really big time saver and helps with the mental stress more than you may realize. Meal time can be pretty frustrating. The patients eat the same way they do everything else, which is on their own schedule. They may even say "no" when you put the meal down for them. But if you learn patience, they will almost always get around to eating. MEals just take longer and most of the time you will dicover that's ok too. smile
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#1914264 - 04/14/14 05:32 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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I envision when it is my time to occupy a space in the Dementia Unit, that my day will totally consist of eating, sleeping and giving the kids that work there a hard time.
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#1914267 - 04/14/14 05:39 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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One of THE most frustrating things I encountered once Mom was pretty far 'along' was that the staff did not take the time it took to get food into her. When mama still had her apartment, I hired a girl to 'sit' with her, take her to the store/hair appointments/out to lunch...stuff like that. Eventually, she generally stayed all night and most of the day. Well, she became like a family member (at least to me!). Either she or I would do our best to be at the home (which was out in the country nowhere near my work/house) for at least one meal a day to ensure she was given the time it took.

Eventually, even that was not enough tho...the eventual helplessness you may have to face at some point is one of the hardest things you may ever encounter in your lifetime. But all you can do is keep trying...and keep being there.
Last edited by RR Joker; 04/14/14 05:39 PM.
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#1914270 - 04/14/14 05:43 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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Which brings the discussion around to the obvious.
Make sure your parents (and you too!) have a POA for health care and advanced directives in place NOW.
The only thing worse than having to face what Joker talks about above, is having to guess at what you think your parent would want you to do.
Wait...that's not true. The worst part would be getting into a family war over who knows what the parent would want vs who doesn't and who has the right to decide.

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#1914274 - 04/14/14 05:48 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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Very true! Luckily, my parents planned well in advance. They both had living wills, a cemetary plot paid for and POA's for us girls.

A lot of parents DON'T plan well and a lot of siblings (or the other spouse) do NOT see things the same way necessarily.
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#1914330 - 04/14/14 07:14 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Skittles Online
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And we're going to have a problem if my father goes first. He wants to be cremated - and mom (he doesn't know this) won't do that. Hey - it's not my first choice either, but it's his.

Both of my parents have living wills and my sister is their POA. Have to take these documents every where they go - every hospital stay, every test, etc.
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#1914351 - 04/14/14 07:39 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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If they have a personal physician, these documents should be in their file and accessible or sent with orders for tests, etc. I don't cart any of them around.

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