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#1940595 - 07/14/14 07:23 PM Re: Caring for our parents E.E.G.B
RR Joker Offline
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The Swamp
Quote:
when he discovered the liquor store made delivery runs


What an awesome service! cool
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#1940599 - 07/14/14 07:26 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
E.E.G.B Offline
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E.E.G.B
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the sandy shore
In a town loaded with seniors? They probably made a fortune!
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#1940620 - 07/14/14 07:49 PM Re: Caring for our parents E.E.G.B
Rocky P Offline
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Originally Posted By: E.G.B.
In a town loaded with seniors? They probably made a fortune!

And if they asked a litttle sweet granny for her ID to prove she's old enough to drink, they'd be getting a huge tip!!!

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#1940623 - 07/14/14 07:51 PM Re: Caring for our parents E.E.G.B
edAudit Offline
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Originally Posted By: E.G.B.
In a town loaded with seniors? They probably made a fortune!


Are you sure this should be typed In a town with loaded seniors... laugh
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#1940634 - 07/14/14 08:03 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Skittles Offline
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TN
Rocky - my 92 year old father got carded buying a bottle of wine about 6 months ago. Indiana requires all purchasers to show ID.

And I should have mentioned - JJ love the story about your grandmother.
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#1940906 - 07/15/14 02:23 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
I just found out that my uncle, who has dementia and is in about the same shape as my mom, is still driving! Apparently they cannot get his keys away from him. So if you live near Shreveport, beware of a big black Caddillac!
Yes, I have just explained to my cousin that they have got to disable that car!
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#1940997 - 07/15/14 03:29 PM Re: Caring for our parents Bankbb1, PITA
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My mom is only 77, but has complications from diabetes and nerve damage from a spinal so her feet are numb and her legs are harder to move, PLUS her eyesight is failing from Foug's (sp) dystrophy. Her reaction time is way slow, AND she has always had a lead foot when driving. She joked about telling my dad to watch out for the dog on the side of the road and it was actually a fire hydrant. We all have had the discussion with her to stop driving, and she vehemently disagrees with us. Two weeks ago I threatened to call her doctor to have her license revoked medically, and she blew a gasket. I know I have to keep working at it, but dang, it sure is hard to get her to realize the danger she is putting herself and others in by driving.
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#1941022 - 07/15/14 03:49 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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And sometimes you just have to swallow hard and pizz off your parent in order to save their life and possibly the lives of strangers too. It sux big time. But just think of all the times when you were growing up and they did things 'for your own good'. Good luck, Tink, and prayers too.

btw, I think BB's idea of disabling the car is a GREAT idea!

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#1951206 - 08/08/14 08:41 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Christine81 Offline
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My mother in law, bless her heart, had alzheimers. When it came time to take her car away her boys took it in for an oil change, and then they kept it for new tires ... new brakes ... etc. She would mention it every now and then, but she wouldn't realize how long it had been gone. One time in a lucid moment she said to me, "I'm not sure I can afford all these repairs!" Made me feel bad, but it was for her own good. About a year later, my brother in law drove the car up to the lake and she was there. She looked at the car and said "I had a car just like that, but mine was a different color." It is not easy when parents get old and ill.

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#1951221 - 08/08/14 08:54 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
Mom was having a pretty decent day today. Knew who I was, knew who dad was. Knew that I was her son and his son. And I think she knew she was at home. None of these are always true.
She did have one delusion that there was a man in a white coat standing behind me. It does kind of freak people out when that happens.
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#1951253 - 08/08/14 09:15 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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My husband is an only child and both his parents are in their 80's. My father-in-law finally stopped driving after a wreck and the DPS told him he could no longer drive, so my mother in law does all the driving and thank goodness she is still in decent health. It is hard to see them going down when they are so used to doing their own thing. They hate to ask us to help them because they think it would be a burden to us. My husband and myself have tried to explain to them that we want to help them. They sometimes let us.
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#1951271 - 08/08/14 09:31 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
They will rarely ever ask and it is a real balancing act between being proactive about helping and being intrusive and making them feel less independent. But others have done it before us. So it must be doable. smile
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#1951301 - 08/08/14 09:44 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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How timely that this thread show up at the top of the feed today. Sunday my hubby and I are driving down to help move his grandma into an assisted living facility. Her mini-strokes are becoming too frequent and her back problems are becoming too intense. She'll be moving to a facility nearer her daughter. Kind of a sad day. She brain is still sharp but I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse. If y'all could just keep our family in your thoughts Sunday we'd appreciate it.

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#1951352 - 08/08/14 11:04 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
You got it Okie!
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#1951392 - 08/11/14 12:05 PM Re: Caring for our parents Bankbb1, PITA
E.E.G.B Offline
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the sandy shore
Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
Mom was having a pretty decent day today. Knew who I was, knew who dad was. Knew that I was her son and his son. And I think she knew she was at home. None of these are always true.
She did have one delusion that there was a man in a white coat standing behind me. It does kind of freak people out when that happens.


You're so sure it was a delusion?! Maybe she can just see things y'all can't. wink

My ILs are gradually moving into a retirement home. They really need to be in assisted living, but SIL has POA and makes all the decisions and in her "wisdom", decreed her mom would be happier in a retirement home. I'm sure we'll end up moving them again in a year or two, but it's not worth battling any more over it right now.
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#1951428 - 08/11/14 02:05 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
CompliantOkie Offline
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OOOOOOklahoma
The move was successful. Everything is in storage. Ma is settled in her assisted living apartment with some of her things around her. We didn't get to see her yesterday since the move took much longer than planned (doesn't it always) but we'll go see her next week. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. Seems like a good move was made.

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#1951432 - 08/11/14 02:26 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
Glad it went well Okie!
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#1951437 - 08/11/14 02:32 PM Re: Caring for our parents E.E.G.B
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
Originally Posted By: E.G.B.
Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
Mom was having a pretty decent day today. Knew who I was, knew who dad was. Knew that I was her son and his son. And I think she knew she was at home. None of these are always true.
She did have one delusion that there was a man in a white coat standing behind me. It does kind of freak people out when that happens.


You're so sure it was a delusion?! Maybe she can just see things y'all can't. wink

My ILs are gradually moving into a retirement home. They really need to be in assisted living, but SIL has POA and makes all the decisions and in her "wisdom", decreed her mom would be happier in a retirement home. I'm sure we'll end up moving them again in a year or two, but it's not worth battling any more over it right now.


Yeah, its always best to pick your battles. Arguing rarely helps.
And yes, everytime she does that, everybody looks.
The first time that she did it was on a trip back from NM. She kept asking who the man in the back seat was and why had we picked him up. After a stop in Amarillo, she said thta she felt bad bout us leaving him there and the she hoped that he would be ok.
It was so real for her that it was very creepy for everyone else.
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#1951440 - 08/11/14 02:45 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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Oklahoma
Jeez - I would just be hoping "he" wasn't sitting directly behind me the whole time. My skin would have been crawling the entire time "he" rode in the car.
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#1951445 - 08/11/14 02:52 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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I've sat with an elderly relative in a nursing home and 'ridden the train' wherever she was going or 'waited for my brother so we can get to school on time.'

It's much like playing fantasy games with a small child.

The only difference is the child is making it up as they go along. The elderly person is most likely relating things that actually happened. You can learn a lot about their history if you listen and learn to ask the right questions.

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#1951450 - 08/11/14 02:58 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
Mom, spends a lot of time wanting to go "home" lately.
You have to have been around her a lot to know that "home" doesn't mean the house that she and dad own. It means her grandparents home between Cheyenne and Roll Oklahoma where she lived over 65 years ago.
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#1958432 - 09/02/14 01:07 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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Soaring over Georgia
Just recently moved my mom in with us. She will be 84 next month and has been in a declining mental state for several years. We thought we were going to be moving her into an apartment about a mile from us, but after assessing her current health state, decided it would be too risky. She can't afford assisted living, so moving in with us seemed like the only option. At some point in the not too distant future, I expect she'll need to move into a nursing home, but for now this is the best we can do for her. She had been living for the past 3 years in a mobile home next door to my brother and his wife, but it was not a good situation. They were unable to deal with the stresses of her care and were borderline mentally and emotionally abusive toward her. They are also financially needy themselves and saw no problem in taking advantage of mom's meager social security and Air Force annuity income. We are also better able to deal with her physical & medical needs and be more proactively involved in her health care plans.

We have structured her room in our home to be a mini apartment with TV, phone & laptop computer to give her (and us) the ability to have some independent space when needed. We also have a senior day care facility that she currently enjoys going to. Right now, they are open 2 days a week, but just got VA approvals they needed to begin offering services 5 days a week in the very near future. This gives my wife some much needed break time during the week. We also have lined up the ability to have in-home care come in if we need to go out of town.

All in all, still some adjusting for us to deal with, but I know mom is getting better care than she has in the past 3 years. But she can be demanding - she has always been a very self-centered person, and the early stage dementia only seems to exacerbate that.
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#1958435 - 09/02/14 01:21 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
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The Mitten State
Several years back we were planning the same type of situation with my father in law. He lived several hours away from us, way out in the woods (lower peninsular in Michgan), and his nearest neighbor was his sister, but she was a distance. He lived alone with his dogs, was on oxygen, and many medicines. He was very stubborn, and it took several years of talking to convince him to move to our town, and that we would make a room for him in our house, he could bring his dogs, he could pretty much do whatever he wanted, etc. Finally he said he would, but about a month before the time came, he decided he wanted an apartment of his own. Granted our town of about 1000 people isn't full of apartment complexes, but we did find him one. He lived there for several years.

He had alot of family in our little town, so frequent visitors and company and always someone to take him to his doctor visits. As I had mentioned above, he was very stubborn, and he fell one night and was not found until the next morning. Still he wouldn't move in with anyone, but we did convince him to get the 'life alert' that he would wear, and could hit the button at any time for 911.

Sad to say, several weeks later he ended up in the hospital and he did not come home. That was almost 5 years ago this month. His health problems had alot to do with his 'wild' life in the Navy. He had a very full life, albeit only 72 years full, but the stories that I have heard still make me laugh today.

He was my kids 'fun' grandpa. Not that he ever let them do anything they shouldn't but they always had fun at grandpas.

Sorry to get off track BeechFlyboy---enjoy the time with your mom, it sounds like you have given her the best that you can.
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#1960873 - 09/10/14 06:07 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Bankbb1, PITA Offline
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The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
So I'm sitting here wondering, what do you tell your mother when you are about to move her into nursing facility that specializes in Dimensia and Alzheimers patients knowing full well that this will most likely be where she spends the rest of her life.
I think this is about to get very real, and I think my dad is going to not do well with it on the day we have to do it (I may not either).
I dont really expect a lot answers as there is no good way to do it. Its really just verbalizing a thought that has been going through my head.
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#1960877 - 09/10/14 06:10 PM Re: Caring for our parents Truffle Royale
Skittles Offline
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{{HUGS}} and prayers, BBB1. I know what it was like when my aunt was moved into one, but not a parent.
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