I saw on FB today that for every slice of bacon you eat, you lose 9 minutes off of your life span...Now tell me HOW they think they know that? These statements drive me crazy...I mean...can they say that a lifetime of abstinence from bacon will cause you to live to be as old as...well...Pale?

A man is at his doctor's office and the doctor tells him "I'm sorry, you don't have much time left."

"How long?" asks the patient.

"10"

"10 what? 10 weeks, 10 months??"

"9... 8..."

KFC is running a six piece, large side and three biscuit meal special for $9.99.

I don't really think this is for a family so I'm assuming it's a single serving.

I know have my dinner for tonight mapped out.

Mercury enters Libra, and now is the time for decisions or compromise (maybe both). A Mars/Saturn square advises using time wisely over the next few days. Relationships hang in limbo when Venus occupies Libra's last degrees tonight. Stay clear of thought and steady of balance and you'll be fine.

Do Scorpios next! Pleeeeeease???

It may seem like everyone is being stubborn today, yet you wish they could be more flexible. Unfortunately, someone else's adaptability won't solve your problems since you might have become too rigid in your thinking. Your issues are reflected by the circumstances in your life, yet it's easier to project the blame onto another person else. Thankfully, your frustrations will begin to diminish over the next few days. In the meantime, a little self-examination could reveal an important truth.

::examines self::

Thanks, BaBo!

Self-examination sucks! I don't like that one, I'm not too rigid, and I'm projecting blame on others because it's their fault!

How about Taurus?

Others may encourage you to start a project today, but you might not be interested in doing much at all. Your resistance to work now isn't about laziness; it's strictly business. You wonder whether or not your extra effort will really make a difference. External coercion only makes you more stubborn. Trust your judgment, for you probably won't accomplish anything unless you are willing to exert yourself beyond the call of duty.

Today you are full of bull.

what about virgo?! my birthday is in a couple of weeks!

whoa! That is right on. My resistance to work is definitely not about laziness. I would just rather do something else with my time.

Or you have an inexplicable desire to drive a Ford sedan.

BB is the new BOL astrological guru.

Libra???

This could explain my pissy attitude last night...I'm working on "steady of balance" today.

Me stubborn? Never. I always trust my judgment, but today I will trust it even more!

This is all your fault, Matt!!

Have I missed Leo??? (AKA - The best sign)

I did some self-examining and have determined that no, it's your fault!

You'll feel better in a few days.

Managing your current problems can be tricky business now. However, going through the motions may offer you some relief from the discomfort. Be realistic about your expectations because it's quite likely that nothing will be solved right away. Fortunately, you have an excellent chance for success in the future as long as you remain practical today.


And happy early birthday!

You are being pushed and pulled all over the map now; you might even be close to snapping like an over-stretched rubber band. Expressing your anger toward a loved one won't help matters. No matter how much a situation is bothering you, today's solution requires you to change your attitude first. And while you're doing your inner work, indulge in some healthy outer distractions, too, like a spectator sport, a movie or a good book.




A variety of circumstances may stir up anxiety, pushing you close to the boiling point now. But just before the meltdown temperature is reached, your feelings cool down just enough to prevent a scene from happening. Although you don't want your emotions to spill over, withholding them will just make matters worse. Keeping your eyes on the big picture can circumvent any unneeded frustration.

[musical note] here I am, rock you like a hurricane [musical note]

::fans self::

How YOU doin?