Thread Options
|
#1992811 - 02/02/15 04:36 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,070
Oklahoma
|
I too am sending good thoughts and hugs and prayers all around. As I "listen" to each of you I will remind you that the power of a BOL prayer (and hug) is mighty and powerful.
_________________________
Just working here until I get my letter from Hogwarts.
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1994201 - 02/06/15 06:06 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
100 Club
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 204
Fl
|
So, I have had my suspicions for awhile and this week my mom's doctor agrees. She is to begin taking medicine for Alzheimer. From what I have read, it looks like she is in the early stages. Just something else to add to her health issues. And then I worry about my father. He helps us out with our children each day and sometimes I fear it's too much for him. At the same feel the children keep him sane at the same time. It's so hard seeing your parents go through these changes, which many of you understand the feeling.
They are to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary at the end of the month. My parents are very simple people, and just want to go out to dinner with us and my brother's family. No big celebration. At the same time, my worries that she won't make it til then, because no one in her family have ever reached their 50th anniversary. I'm like well, I guess you are going to be the first. UGHH!!
_________________________
Nevermind tomorrow, TODAY is the day. -unknown
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1994221 - 02/06/15 06:43 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
10K Club
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
|
{{HUGS}} lcrew. Having elderly parents is difficult.
My parents married later in life (second marriages for both) and didn't think they would make 50 years (mom was 35 and dad was 38). In March it will be 55 years. We're getting ready to celebrate mom's 90th birthday in a few weeks.
So - just take it one day at a time. We never know what's going to happen and celebrate each milestone.
_________________________
My Opinions Only
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1994244 - 02/06/15 07:20 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
100 Club
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 204
Fl
|
Thank you Skittles.
_________________________
Nevermind tomorrow, TODAY is the day. -unknown
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1994870 - 02/10/15 04:32 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
|
I'm sorry to hear about the diagnosis Icrew, but knowing for sure and getting proactive is a good thing. Watch after mom, but watch after dad too. He is going to have a lot to deal with and its harder for the spouses than it is for the kids. Hugs and prayers for you and yours.
_________________________
Run like the wind, but never forget gravity.
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1995613 - 02/12/15 04:35 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
100 Club
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 204
Fl
|
Thank you. And, I do worry about my Dad, Bankbb1. My husband is convinced that we will eventually being living with them, their house is bigger than ours, so that I will be able to handle their affairs.
Mom sounds lively now a days. She's not taking the new medicine everyday though, not sure why not though. She has a doctor's appt in a couple of weeks, I may take her to ask questions that I have directly to the doctor.
_________________________
Nevermind tomorrow, TODAY is the day. -unknown
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1997661 - 02/23/15 08:42 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
|
So this happened... I sent some flowwers to mon. She's always enjoyed flowers and she hadnt had any delivered, so I though I would. No biggie. A day later I go buy to make sure that she got them, see if she liked them an all that. Well , they are there and she likes them, but sitting next to them is a doll. The face head and hands are hand carved in great detail, the hair obviously attached by hand and all of the clothes are hand made. But it is the creepiest looking thing I have ever seen (Think Annabelle from The Conjuring and Annabelle) and nobody has any idea where it came from. I mean nobody. I asked my dad, my daughters and every one that was on the sign in sheet for coming and going and I asked all the staff. Nonody has a clue about. My daughter came in and said mom was talking to and my daguhter said "Oh He11 no!" it creeped her out so bad. She made the staff get rid of it. I really wish I knew where it came from, it was really a work of art, even it was 50 shades of crrepy!
_________________________
Run like the wind, but never forget gravity.
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1997665 - 02/23/15 08:49 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Power Poster
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3,760
Running and riding everywhere ...
|
Any chance mom "borrowed" the creepy azz doll from another resident?
_________________________
I don't need any more negativity in my life...be positive and helpful people or I will kick you in the shins!!!
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1997668 - 02/23/15 09:02 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
RR Jen
|
10K Club
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 20,656
The Swamp
|
I really wish I knew where it came from, it was really a work of art, even it was 50 shades of crrepy! ::raises hand waving furiously:: I know, I know!!!!! Freak came by for a visit!!!!!!!
_________________________
My opinion only. Not legal advice. Say you'll haunt me - Stone Sour
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1997674 - 02/23/15 09:11 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
10K Club
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
|
That is very creep, BBB1. I'd get rid of it, too.
BTW - my mom turns 90 tomorrow - and she still drives. Probably not the best thing, but she's still doing it. We were going to have a birthday celebration this past Saturday (think 30 people at a restaurant), but with the weather it's been postponed until the 7th. All kids, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will be there.
_________________________
My Opinions Only
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1997705 - 02/23/15 11:03 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
|
That is cool Skittles!!
Jen, none of the staff had ever seen it before in anyones apartment.
_________________________
Run like the wind, but never forget gravity.
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1997770 - 02/24/15 02:57 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
10K Club
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
|
I called her first thing this morning to wish her happy birthday. I asked her what 90 felt like - and she said 'old'.
_________________________
My Opinions Only
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1997774 - 02/24/15 03:07 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,028
Utopia
|
My MIL turns 91 today, still lives independent, drives, flies up north every summer to see us, and yesterday played shuffleboard. I'm hoping my husband has her genes (his dad passed at 60).
_________________________
Everything happens for a reason
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1998827 - 02/27/15 05:47 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Platinum Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 597
Central Texas
|
My mom is now 89. She has always been such a hard worker at home and in the family businesses they had. She loved big family gatherings and did all the cooking, loved the company in her home. It seems once daddy died in 2009 everything changed. She suddenly became obsessed with her finances, would be waiting for me at home when I got off work to read this piece of junk mail she just knew when needed to do to help her financially.
This last September she fell and broke her hip, had pins inserted and the last day of September sent to the nursing home for a 3 month rehab. It is now nearly March and she is still there.
She wants to come home, but she is to weak and cannot transfer herself from her wheelchair to a walker, plus she is now incontinence.
We are going through her money to keep her there and looks like they will end up getting her last dime. I don't care about the money, but I sure don't like this guilty feeling that continually hangs over my head. Our parents do so much for us growing up and in our adulthood years. I cannot not reciprocate because of my Lupus and other health issues.
So I have to put on my big girl panties and realize we are doing what is best for her in the long wrong, but I don't like being a grownup and my mother the child!
Skittle my mom was still driving before she fell! An angel had to be riding on her shoulder each time she went out!!!
I also might add she has been diagnosed with Dementia!
Last edited by Happy Drugs; 02/27/15 05:48 PM.
_________________________
In my pill box counting my stash!
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1998853 - 02/27/15 06:42 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,412
|
With all of her problems and your own health issues, it sounds like she's in the best possible care environment. So please, don't beat yourself up about it, Happy Drugs. There's only so much we can do for anyone, even our parents.
If you feel that your Mom might be happier in a different home, don't hesitate to check out the options.
Otherwise, visit her often. Take her out to dinner if you can. Or, as long as she has no food restrictions, bring one of her home cooked favorites in. Lots of nursing homes have rooms set aside for family visits so you could have Sunday dinners with other family members attending too. I can tell you from the years I worked in a nursing home, visits have a huge impact on the health and happiness of those living in them.
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1999095 - 03/02/15 01:07 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
10K Club
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 21,939
Next to Harvey
|
You know you are a grown up when you are dealing with aging parents and you realize that all of your choices suck.
Dementia increases the guilt factor when they don't remember your visits; a friend was chided for never visiting when she had been there the day before. Having a Polaroid camera available, taking pictures of guests and the parent, and noting the dates may salve the situation.
Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying it will help the parent remember, that's not how dementia works. It will, however, help the child feel less guilty as there is tangible "evidence" of their attentions.
_________________________
In this world you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1999485 - 03/03/15 06:21 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,070
Oklahoma
|
We have a large scam going around our OKC area about the IRS calling and asking you to pay your taxes over the phone or you will go to jail. I always have to call my mom and let her know to just hang up on these people. They just want your card information to steal your money.
My mother always tells me "You just don't know the pressure I am under when people on the phone ask me for information.". Based on this I always make it a point to tell her about the latest scams.
Last edited by HRH Okie Banker; 03/03/15 06:22 PM. Reason: can't write!
_________________________
Just working here until I get my letter from Hogwarts.
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
#1999509 - 03/03/15 07:12 PM
Re: Caring for our parents
Truffle Royale
|
10K Club
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
|
Truff - my mom won't 'not' answer the phone even with caller ID because once - once mind you - it was someone she wanted to talk to. I told her that's why she has caller ID.
_________________________
My Opinions Only
|
Return to Top
|
|
|
|
|
|