I will be doing both this year

but unrealistic

You can't have your turkey and eat it too.

We usually deep fry ours, but have also been known to cook them in the smoker and on the grill. All 3 methods utilize actual fire, which means MANly cooking and leaves me free to do everything else in the kitchen. The fryer is my favorite and we usually do a chicken broth & melted butter injection, but my in-laws soak the bird in a garbage bag of Texas Pete the night before. The smoker is good but IMO takes too long and the beer-drinking-men have to babysit the fire. Grilled is good. We butterfly the bird, rub it all over with butter and chopped rosemary, then lay it on the grill and place lemon slices over the top. Smash it flat with a couple of big cast iron skillets or a few foil-wrapped bricks and grill until done in the thickest parts.

I have nothing to add to that

I think I'm just going to have to experiment on a smaller bird before 'the day we pig out on food, sit around and watch football and watch uncle Bob get drunk and obnoxious' comes around

The butterflied-grilled recipe is a chicken recipe. We've only done it once with a turkey breast but it was yummy!

Raitch, your method requires getting out....mine regquires going to the fridge. I think my method was simplest.

Bottom line: Peepers is a turkey snob.

I would ban ham at holiday meals if I could. Not sure why I never developed a taste for it the whole family but me likes it. But we all like Turkey more so that helps limit the amount of ham to some extent.

Salt, pepper, olive oil. Nothing inside the cavity. Breast up, nothing worse that squashed breasts [giggle]

Presentation is everything, though. I'm no Martha Stewart fan (name one man that is...), but she taught me everything I know about carving turkeys, and now I am the official turkey carver at everyone's house. The neighbors actually asked me to carve their turkeys at Thanksgiving and Christmas last year (which I did).

Video on how to carve:
http://www.marthastewart.com/249349/how-carve-turkey#249349

You win. We're all coming to your house for Thanksgiving.

My house? Special green solo cups it is then.

Woot!!

Brining is the key to a juicy bird. Brine overnight for best results. Also, never use an oven bag and throw away the pop-up timer. The pop-up timer is set for the actual temp the bird should be and doesn't consider carry-over cooking.

Butter underneath the skin helps baste the bird and citrus in the cavity.

Easy = turkey bag with pop up timer on turkey. I don't cook it any other way. Either breast up or breast down but with breast down the skin will not be a nice golden brown but the breast will be nice and juicy.

Usually only takes about 3 hrs for turkey depending on the size. (Never understood getting up at 4:00 am and putting the turkey in the oven. Must have cooked it on 200 degrees or something.)

We sit the turkey on a bed of carrots, celery and onions. Then the turkey gets a good rub down of butter and some butter is tucked up under the skin. It is seasoned with salt, pepper and sage and bakes breast side down. Later we use the veggies and all the juices at the bottom of the pan for gravy.

I made just a breast this past weekend as a test run. My 1 year old daughter LOVED the turkey and all the fixings. She was a mess from all the mashed potatoes she ended up wearing.

raitchjay has been removed from this topic

I think I need to practice before the big day.

I'll buy a smaller bird, one that I can eat for a meal myself, perhaps a 14 pounder and practice on that

Have always fixed the turkey using the bag method. However, last year I had to be away a lot of the day for a wedding and didn't want to leave with the oven on and no one to check it. So I did it the way Trisha Yearwood says her mother always did. My kids said it was the best turkey they have had yet. I didn't know if it would turn out or not, but was juicy, tender and just plain awesome.

No Baste, No Bother Roasted Turkey

I thought you were gonna describe some turkey tartar.

You could do a squab. Or a Cornish Hen. Or a pheasant.

/ends helpful advice on smaller birds

How to prepare a turkey on Thanksgiving...

1. Stock up the beer fridge.
2. Sit in recliner.
3. Watch NFL.
4. Occasionally yell "Hey Honey, that turkey done yet?"
5. Watch out for flying empty wine bottles thrown from kitchen.

If you're going to serve Cornish game hen, you should either be familiar with the history of Cornwall or be prepared to learn it.

those sound like interesting appetizers

You could go with a county fair theme, deep fried squab on a stick.