National School Board debates whether to reduce summer vacation break from one week to four days

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Progresso-Liberal RepubliGreens denounce Nomination of first transgender Supreme Court Justice"Zombie Superman Vs. Vampire Batman" is a dud at the box office– is the nation tiring of superhero-occult crossover movies?

Twilight reboot features actual vampires, tweens both delighted and terrified

UConn's womens' basketball team loses 3 consecutive games.

Does anyone notice?

[a Teen Witch remake]

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – DUSK

LOUISE walks down the street with POLLY. As they round the corner, they spot RHET and his two friends leaning against his black Civic Hybrid. One strums out a quiet song on his acoustic guitar, while RHET reads from a midnight black book in his hands. The third stoically stares into the middle distance, a single tear threatening to jump to its death from his super black eyelashes. POLLY sighs.

POLLY
Oh no, Louise, let's get out of here. Rhet would
never be interested in a girl like me. I can see
the deep oceans of emotion in his eyes.

LOUISE
We're fifty yards away.

POLLY
My emotions are mere puddles… maybe a salt
marsh.

LOUISE
Polly, just go over there and show him your
real self. You have at least one book of morbid
poetry, don't you?

POLLY, eyes downcast, bites her lip and brushes her hair behind her ear. LOUISE touches her amulet. With a great WHOOSH of wind and flash of light, POLLY is transformed: her back now artfully slouched, her lip biting now more alluring, her bust now magically enhanced. POLLY approaches RHET, a fire in her eyes, and gets ready to seize the day.

POLLY
Um. Hey, um… hi, Rhet.

RHET
Oh. Hey. What's… uh, what's up?

POLLY
Um. I just want you to know… within my soul
is a limpid pool of darkness. [softly] Top that.

RHET runs his hand through his hair, suddenly brooding.

RHET
My heart is like an obsidian blade, stabbing my
my soul with the depth of my longing. [sighing]
Top that.

POLLY
I have skulls on over sixty-percent of my clothing.
Top that.

RHET
I painted my ceiling black. Top that.

POLLY
I once stumbled upon a dead body in a
marsh and kept one of its fingers.

POLLY walks away, giving one last, lip-biting look at RHET.

POLLY
Top that.

Rhet and his friends sit, dumbfounded. LOUISE allows herself a slight smile as POLLY walks back to her while humming a funeral dirge.

RHET
Uh. Um.

END SCENE.