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#2007104 - 04/09/15 04:15 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
edAudit Offline
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Originally Posted By CompliantOkie
Finally heard from the teacher yesterday. His poor grades are 100% attributable to his lack of effort and lack of caring. He flies through the assignments just to get them finished. Doesn't use the book or iPad when it's available to him. She's preaching the same thing I am...Effort and doing his best. Hasn't sunk in yet. She has no concerns about his learning or attention abilities. I will definitely keep an eye on those things though. I'm not sure she's the most engaged teacher. She is not concerned about his future academic path though so that's a relief.

We're in survival mode. For the first time ever, I'm counting the days until school is out. Summer can't come soon enough for him or me. Almost there!!!!


Sounds like he could make good money as a loan officer
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#2007127 - 04/09/15 05:08 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
Truffle Royale Offline

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Seems to me you've come back around to a lack of maturity with regard to caring and effort at school. I'd say that's not at all out of character for an 8 yr old boy. With a mom like you who stresses the importance of learning, I'm sure he'll grow into a better student. Try not to let it stress either you or him out. Life at 8 should still be fun and full of childlike pursuits, not just book learning.

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#2007161 - 04/09/15 06:16 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
waldensouth Offline
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FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
I would still probably take him to a Sylvan learning center this summer to work on study techniques. Sounds like he hasn't tried to learn them.
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#2007180 - 04/09/15 06:44 PM Re: Need help with my third grader edAudit
CompliantOkie Offline
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Originally Posted By edAudit
Originally Posted By CompliantOkie
Finally heard from the teacher yesterday. His poor grades are 100% attributable to his lack of effort and lack of caring. He flies through the assignments just to get them finished. Doesn't use the book or iPad when it's available to him. She's preaching the same thing I am...Effort and doing his best. Hasn't sunk in yet. She has no concerns about his learning or attention abilities. I will definitely keep an eye on those things though. I'm not sure she's the most engaged teacher. She is not concerned about his future academic path though so that's a relief.

We're in survival mode. For the first time ever, I'm counting the days until school is out. Summer can't come soon enough for him or me. Almost there!!!!


Sounds like he could make good money as a loan officer

That doesn't make me feel better!!!! wink laugh

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#2008585 - 04/16/15 07:10 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I'm late to the conversation, but my 35 yr old son was highly unmotivated in school. Bored to death. He barely graduated from high school. He enlisted in the AF and got picket fences (top marks), passed the AF boot camp test with perfect score (never done before), has 4 medals of valor from the Iraqi War, passed his nursing boards in 45 minutes!
I tried all that crazy stuff (punishments, spankings, yelling, grounding) which made life miserable in our family for 12 years. It turns out my son just sees life way different than the average Joe. He is a super young man who has done amazing things with his life. If only I could redo those 12 years and take back the negatives. He could have had an amazing childhood as well.

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#2008637 - 04/16/15 08:41 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I have to say I have relaxed quite a bit after hearing other's experiences with their now wildly successful and happy grown children struggling in school. We're in survival mode. I keep telling him to do his best work, put in the best effort he's got. I will continue to preach this until the day I die and hopefully some of it sinks in. As long as he's working hard, I've done my part.
NDY you must be so very proud. Those are wonderful accomplishments!!

Thank y'all for sharing your stories. It really has helped tremendously!!

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#2009406 - 04/22/15 12:55 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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Somewhere in the middle
Didn't read all the above, but have you asked you little one what would it take for him to get better grades? I think someone asked what motivates him.

With our daughter, negative didn't work. But she could be bribed. laugh
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#2009418 - 04/22/15 01:53 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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He's very difficult to bribe. Unfortunately he's a little on the spoiled side. The one thing he really wants is a weight bench but Dad had already made that deal with him for other work he's doing. The grades that are coming home have gotten a little better but we're still seeing plenty bad grades on individual papers. If you ask him a question off those papers, 90% of the time he knows the right answer. At home (or when someone is watching) he works hard but when he's left on his own, he's very lazy. So frustrating.

The dreaded TEST starts today. I wished him luck and wrote him a note to give his best effort and he'd ace the test. We will see.

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#2009427 - 04/22/15 02:19 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
E.E.G.B Offline
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My poor third grader - who is a straight A student - was so freaked out about The Test. Apparently the teachers are giving the message that if the kids don't pass they won't move on to 4th grade. Ummm, that's not exactly true and geez, way to freak the kids out, gang. I cannot tell you how much I loathe The Test and the teaching patterns that have emerged as a result of it.
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#2009432 - 04/22/15 02:26 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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Preach on EGB!!!! I read yesterday in the Washington Post that there is a whole movement to pull kids out of school during the test. It's really ridiculous the amount of pressure that is placed on these 8-9 year old kids.
My kiddo's delightful teacher has also informed them that they will not go to 4th grade if they don't pass the reading portion of the test. I tried to downplay it with Ty this morning. It's so stupid that an entire year's worth of learning and work comes down to 2 days of standardized testing!!!

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#2009441 - 04/22/15 02:38 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I am really tempted to start looking into how we opt out / refuse it. Not sure what the TX rules are.
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#2009456 - 04/22/15 02:59 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I am one year removed from a high school senior so I haven't paid much attention to the Common Core, but I will share with you in NY State, specifically in the area I live so many parents have opted their children out of the testing that the schools are freaking out. Maybe if you google opting out in NY you may find some direction as to how you can do it. I just told my husband the other day that if we had a 3rd grader I would have read everything I could get my hands on and most likely opted out. What a battle!
Last edited by Soccer; 04/22/15 02:59 PM.
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#2009460 - 04/22/15 03:11 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I should have been more proactive in the past few months and opted him out. I have no doubt that he knows the material. I do however know stress gets to him and causes him to doubt himself. I have even heard of people pulling their kids out to homeschool through 3rd grade and then putting them back in public schools in 4th grade. That's an extreme reaction I think but it shows how desperate people are to protect their kids from the stress!

I remember taking achievement tests when I was in school. They were fun. We had snacks and got extra recesses that week. There was never any pressure on us. And we certainly were not told we would fail the grade if we didn't do well on the test.

Good luck EGB. I will definitely look into opting-out when my next kiddo is in 3rd grade in 2 years!!

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#2009468 - 04/22/15 03:23 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I didn't know that you could opt out! My oldest will be in 3rd next year, I am so looking into it now!

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#2009509 - 04/22/15 04:18 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
RebekahL CRCM Offline
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Originally Posted By CompliantOkie
... I remember taking achievement tests when I was in school. They were fun. We had snacks and got extra recesses that week. There was never any pressure on us. And we certainly were not told we would fail the grade if we didn't do well on the test.

That's how it is this week in my 2nd grader's private school. Overall, he thinks the whole deal is pretty good... he finds the tests "boring", but likes the tradeoff of snacks, extra recess, and no homework for a week.
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#2009511 - 04/22/15 04:20 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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All this pressure is totally ridiculous. And I'm not believing that if they don't pass the test or a portion of it they won't move to 4th grade. I'm not sure about your state, but aren't these just tests for the districts? Isn't it all about the money for the school?

I'm certainly glad that my daughters school isn't pressuring them like this. The teachers in my school do things like let them eat gum and tell them that gum helps stimulate them, have parents donate snacks and plan a party for after the tests. Pressure isn't put on the kids about "passing", just appreciation to the kids for all the work. I feel so bad for your son and the rest of his classmates to be put in this situation.
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#2009526 - 04/22/15 04:40 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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Perhaps it varies at the state level but if a 3rd grader does not pass the reading portion of the test, they will not advance to the 4th grade. There are waivers for children that have an off day or do not test well but they have to be brought by the teacher, principal and superintendant. I know my son's teacher would not sign the waiver for him even though I know he knows the material.

Oklahoma repealed Common Core last year but I believe it is still being used as a curriculum guide until the state produces a plan that the federal government will agree to. OK also gives school districts grades on overall performance based on test scores. Our little school was last rated a B+ I believe but many of the small schools around us got C's and D's. It's all a money/perception game.

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#2009542 - 04/22/15 05:22 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I find this interesting. I have a third grader and we were informed that if they cannot read at a third grade level by year end, they will not advance. Provided with that announcement were several tips and ways to help improve your child's skills by working with them at home and that they would be working individually with kids they feel could benefit from it. That was it...no mention of testing (although I assumed that to be the case) and no pressure at all.

My child happens to do well in this area so perhaps that is why we haven't heard much about it. I certainly wouldn't want her to have to stress about these things at such a young age. The social issues do enough of that.

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#2009547 - 04/22/15 05:39 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I just read an article that states 185,000 students did not take the ELA test last week in NY based on reports from 73% of school districts.
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#2009554 - 04/22/15 05:55 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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In TX, 3rd graders don't have to pass the test to advance - the only mandatory passing grades are 5th, 8th, and 12th. If you fail in another year, you have a chance to take it again and then if you still fail, it's at the determination of the school whether you can take summer school or be advanced anyway. [I did just discover opting out of the test is virtually impossible in TX as of right now.]

Thankfully Texas hasn't adopted Common Core - if they did, we'd move to private / charter schools. We're already looking at a charter for my 3rd grade anyway for different reasons.
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#2009561 - 04/22/15 06:00 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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On the opposite side - my son hates having to teach 'to' the state mandated test (high school biology). He enjoys teaching Biology II and Anatomy more because there are no state standards and he can teach them how me sees fit.
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#2009562 - 04/22/15 06:01 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I would hate that too, Skittles. Totally stifles the ability to teach what the teacher and the student think needs more time!
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#2009570 - 04/22/15 06:24 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I wonder how the other states got away with not implementing Common Core. My understanding is that the federal government is basically holding funding hostage until we use Common Core or some other curriculum accepted by the US Dept of Ed. Thus far, OK has been unsuccessful in getting another plan approved. However we overwhelmingly voted in a new state supt. so maybe she will help. Our last supt. was a big fan of Common Core.

I have teacher friends that also bemoan teaching to the test. I would think it would stifle all the creativity that would make teaching fun. It's just a bad deal all around!

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#2009580 - 04/22/15 06:42 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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Texas already had a standardized curriculum in place, complete with a board to approve changes and a series of grade level tests, is my understanding. I don't know about other states.
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#2009592 - 04/22/15 07:23 PM Re: Need help with my third grader CompliantOkie
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I honestly don't know what we had before Common Core. This kiddo is my oldest. I only hope we can get a better plan in place. It's hard to imagine a worse plan.

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