Skip to content
BOL Conferences Top Gun 23
Learn More - Click Here!

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
Thread Options
#2021837 - 06/22/15 04:10 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please Skittles
BowlingQueen Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
Originally Posted By Skittles
I'm so sorry, BQ. Has he had his CT scan yet?


Yes, it came back negative, which should rule out cancer in the prostate and that, of course, is good news. However, they're back to square one in figuring out the prostate issue.

The injections he had in his back have not helped either and the pain management doctor says there's nothing else she can do for him other than pain meds. I just don't understand that.
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine) smile

Return to Top
#2021843 - 06/22/15 04:17 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Truffle Royale Offline

10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,359
Definitely recommend you research the meds he's taking and side effects. Especially with different drs prescribing, it's important to make sure someone is looking at the whole picture for interactions, etc.

Return to Top
#2021867 - 06/22/15 05:05 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
HRH Okie Banker Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,070
Oklahoma
Have to echo TR ^^. My husband's grandfather was doing very poorly at one time and the hospital blamed it on his age. The family insisted and come to found out he had low sodium levels in his body! Within 24 hours of finding out the problem he was so much better. Sometimes it might just be something simple.
_________________________
Just working here until I get my letter from Hogwarts.

Return to Top
#2021874 - 06/22/15 05:14 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Truffle Royale Offline

10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,359
^^Similar to what we just went through with my mom. She was having abdominal pains that turned out to be from taking blood pressure meds that pushed her bp so low the blood wasn't getting to her organs properly. She'd been on the med for years as prescribed by a dr since retired and no one had thought to question it.

Return to Top
#2021924 - 06/22/15 06:33 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
BowlingQueen Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
He just had some blood work done a couple of weeks ago and had an appt with his family doc to follow-up on the B12 injections he had over the past month. He didn't mention anything new coming of that visit, except that he prescribed the anti-anxiety med.

He's exhausted, burnt-out and depressed......and his lack of getting any decent sleep isn't helping matters either.
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine) smile

Return to Top
#2021934 - 06/22/15 06:46 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Skittles Offline
10K Club
Skittles
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,964
TN
What about a second (or third) opinion? Someone has to be able to help him.
_________________________
My Opinions Only

Return to Top
#2021937 - 06/22/15 06:52 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Truffle Royale Offline

10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,359
I don't remember reading if your mom is still around and going with him to appts. If not, (or even if) I suggest that someone should be. Your dad may not be hearing and/or remembering what the dr truly said. He may not be able to communicate everything the dr needs to know to make a better diagnosis. If you have your dad's POA, than go with and get involved. It made a huge difference in my mother's care.

Return to Top
#2021957 - 06/22/15 07:22 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
RR Joker Offline
10K Club
RR Joker
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 20,654
The Swamp
^^^This...Very Important!!
_________________________
My opinion only. Not legal advice.

Say you'll haunt me - Stone Sour

Return to Top
#2022090 - 06/23/15 01:47 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
BowlingQueen Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
When I talk to my dad next, I'll see about someone going with him to his next appt. He has a companion that he lives with and she drives him to most of the appts, but I'm not sure if she actually goes into the room with him.

As far as I know, he doesn't have a POA for medical, but something to definitely look into.

Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts and prayers! smile
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine) smile

Return to Top
#2022092 - 06/23/15 01:48 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Skittles Offline
10K Club
Skittles
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,964
TN
Yes, you should definitely look into that. My sister is POA for our parents since she lives where they do. It has been quite helpful at times.
_________________________
My Opinions Only

Return to Top
#2022167 - 06/23/15 04:10 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Truffle Royale Offline

10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,359
Being the spouse/companion or child of a person no longer means you will be allowed to be informed about your father's health care. HIPPA prohibits your dad's dr from discussing his health with a companion and even you if you don't have specific medical POA powers.

Don't confuse medical POA with a general POA for financial matters either. Your dad should have a medical POA and a living will, aka Advance Health Care Directive, filed with his dr. That way even if you don't live near enough to go to his appts, the dr can discuss his care with you and you can make sure arrangements are made to get his needs met.

Return to Top
#2022349 - 06/23/15 09:08 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
BowlingQueen Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
Shortly after my post this morning, I got a call from my youngest brother that my dad had to be taken to the ER. His pain was so severe that he was having suicidal thoughts. The ER doc was not being the most helpful at first. After my brother nearly reamed her a new "you-know-what", they finally gave him an injection of pain medication (something stronger than morphine, I was told) to give him some relief.

Come to find out that he had NOT been taking the vicodin that his pain management doctor prescribed AS prescribed. He was supposed to be taking it daily, every 4 - 6 hours. Well, he was afraid of becoming addicted to it, so he decided to take it only when he absolutely had to. Grrrrrr.....

Anyway, the ER doc was adamant that he needs to take it, along with his other meds, AS PRESCRIBED. (He was also not taking one of the other meds daily like he was supposed to because it made him nauseous). My brother feels that he gets the picture now. To ensure this, his companion will have to make him get out of bed, give him something to eat and supervise him every weekday morning before she goes off to work so we know he's taking them.

In a couple of days, we will be speaking to him about the medical POA and living will. He may have already done one, but we want to make sure it's covered.

Again, thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers.
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine) smile

Return to Top
#2022370 - 06/23/15 09:57 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Truffle Royale Offline

10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,359
Lots of prayers for your dad and for all the rest of you trying to see that he gets (and takes) proper care.

Check out the caring for our parents thread for lots of other info regarding getting a visiting nurse, meals on wheels, etc. to help your dad.

Return to Top
#2022446 - 06/24/15 01:34 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
justsayjulie Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 293
back home again
Prayers for all of you caring for ailing parents. I feel very fortunate that my parents, who are in their 80s, are in relatively good health. My issue is that neither one is willing to set up a medical POA or living will. I'm their only child, and fear the day when my hands are tied... I've talked myself blue in the face trying to explain the benefit of both, but am met with complete resistance. Any advice is appreciated.
_________________________
Deep breath in...cleansing breath out...

Return to Top
#2022519 - 06/24/15 02:58 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
waldensouth Offline
Power Poster
waldensouth
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,981
FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
BQ, my dad has always hated taking medicine of any kind - even an asprin! I feel your pain. Hopefully, though with the issues identified, the companion can ensure that meds are taken as prescribed.
_________________________
"Once you learn to read, you will be forever free."

- Frederick Douglass




My Opinion Only.

Return to Top
#2022546 - 06/24/15 03:21 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Truffle Royale Offline

10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,359
justsayjulie, have their dr talk to them about it. My mom had a will but nothing else until the dr pushed her with questions like 'do you understand that, at your age, resuscitating you will likely break your ribs and chest and you might never recover? What happens if you can't speak for yourself in an emergency room?' Drs are actually trained in how to approach this and explain how the patient could actually suffer more without the POA/living will.

Additionally, You're not too young to have a POA and living will (advanced directive). Everyone should. They're as easy as filling out a form online and printing and signing it.

You could start by giving them a copy of this article. There's a link to state advanced directive forms on that page too.

Return to Top
#2022559 - 06/24/15 03:34 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
CompliantOkie Offline
Gold Star
CompliantOkie
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 423
OOOOOOklahoma
That's great information Truff. Think I'll do a little research and talk with my mom about it. She's in great health and young but now is the time to make those decisions before we're in an emergency situation.

Return to Top
#2022565 - 06/24/15 03:39 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
BowlingQueen Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
I mentioned the POA/living will information to my dad last night. I asked him if any of his doctors have ever talked to him about it and he said no. (That surprises me a little, because I get asked about it almost every time I go in!) Anyway, I emailed the link to the AARP article to him and told him we can discuss it more this weekend.

He was in much better spirits last night, which was quite a relief.
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine) smile

Return to Top
#2022635 - 06/24/15 04:44 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
QCL Offline
Power Poster
QCL
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,259
NW IL
Originally Posted By BowlingQueen


He was in much better spirits last night, which was quite a relief.

I liked reading that. smile

Return to Top
#2022809 - 06/24/15 07:51 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Pale Rider Offline
10K Club
Pale Rider
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 34,318
under the Lone Star
I know you can't say this out loud BQ, but at this point in his life, getting addicted to Vicodin is one of the least of his worries.
_________________________
Societies that do not find work in and of itself "pleasing to God and requisite to Man," tend to be highly corrupt.


Return to Top
#2022839 - 06/24/15 08:35 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please Pale Rider
BowlingQueen Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
Originally Posted By Pale Rider
I know you can't say this out loud BQ, but at this point in his life, getting addicted to Vicodin is one of the least of his worries.


No kidding! We may not have said it, but we all thought it! LOL
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine) smile

Return to Top
#2023804 - 06/29/15 06:07 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
basilring Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 298
Spartan Country!
I can't imagine what your dad must be going through... and what you and your family are going through having to watch your dad suffer. My thoughts are with all of you.
_________________________
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will head for the beach!

Return to Top
#2023990 - 06/30/15 01:56 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
BowlingQueen Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,920
Wisconsin
I spoke to my dad over-the-phone on Sunday for quite a while. It seems his pain is more tolerable at the moment due to taking the Vicodin throughout the day. It between doses of that, he is also taking ibuprofen.

He seems to really have a stigma about having to manage his pain that way.......it's just "masking" the pain. I get that. I told him about a female friend of mine.....she is 30 yrs old and was diagnosed with Lupus at the age of 11. She has a tower of pills that she has to carry with her and take throughout the day, every day. These pills include pain meds, as some days taking them is the only way she can roll out of bed. She regularly sees a pain management doctor and will likely need to do so FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE, unless a cure for Lupus is found. Even then, the toll the disease has taken on her body is likely irreversable. I'm hoping that hearing about her story will get him to understand that if a 30 yr old has to do that just to be able to get out of bed each day, there is nothing wrong with him doing so until another solution can be found.

Thank you to all of you for your continued support!
_________________________
Nothing changes, if nothing changes. (from a good friend of mine) smile

Return to Top
#2024014 - 06/30/15 02:35 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
RR Joker Offline
10K Club
RR Joker
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 20,654
The Swamp
Glad you are getting somewhere with him. I understand the stubbornness...but quality of life is equally important sometimes!
_________________________
My opinion only. Not legal advice.

Say you'll haunt me - Stone Sour

Return to Top
#2024020 - 06/30/15 02:39 PM Re: Prayers for my dad, please BowlingQueen
Sunshine Lady Offline
Platinum Poster
Sunshine Lady
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 634
I wish the best for your father. My mother who passed away 7 years ago was in constant pain. She had a lot of illnesses, but like your friend she was determined to still get up and go. She told me one time that she would not let pain rule her life and she did not. She took a lot of medicine, but she somehow managed to keep going. Prayers for you and your family because it is hard to have someone in pain and not be able to help them.
_________________________
Define Success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you are proud of. Anne Sweeney

Return to Top
Page 2 of 3 1 2 3

Moderator:  Andy_Z, John Burnett