A charge off is an accounting decision and not necessarily an IRS 1099-C issue. Under the scenario you described, I would not file the 1099-C unless you truly forgave the borrower for the balance. In fact, the IRS rules on the 1099-C reporting says you don't report until you've gone 3 years with no activity on chargeoffs. Take another look at your 1099-C reporting process and that should take care of your concern.
Let's say 3 years with zero payments did result in the 1099-C. Did you create a hardship? No way. The law says drop the interest rate. It doesn't say the service person can skip payments. File the 1099-C. Better yet, get a hold of this person's CO. Failure to take care of debt obligations is grounds for dishonorable discharge from the military.
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Sponge Steve, CRCM, CBA
Opinions expressed are mine and not my employer's