If the decedent did not have an IRA at ABC Bank, then ABC Bank has no role. The company should be willing to take the check back and distribute the funds to the named beneficiaries of the decedent's QRP and do the necessary IRS reporting. It would be appropriate for the duly appointed personal representative to make the request, but he or she has no control over the monies; i.e. they are not part of the decedent's estate. The wife is in the same position; i.e. she could certainly make the request, but has no control over a check made payable to ABC Bank.
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In this world you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.