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#2158033 - 12/21/17 02:25 PM Compliance Christmas List Redux
The OG Zaibatsu Offline
Diamond Poster
The OG Zaibatsu
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,713
Texas
Compliance Officer's Christmas list

By zaibatsu and Dawnie
with apologies to Mrs. Vince Gill

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee.
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies.
Well, I'm all grown up now,
But still need help somehow.
I'm a compliance officer but my heart still can dream.

So here's my lifelong wish,
my compliance Christmas list,
not for myself, but for compliance officers in need:

No more privacy torn apart,
and the new HMDA would never start,
and time would heal all examiners' hearts.
CRA would learn to bend*,
that common sense would always win,
and the CEO would be the compliance officer's friend:
This is my compliance officer Christmas list.

As children we believed
the grandest sight to see
was something lovely wrapped beneath the tree.
Well, my regulator surely knows
that packages and bows
can never conceal a bad exam's blow.

No more Loan Registers torn apart,
and silly lenders would never start,
and doctors could give the board real hearts.
Ev'ry lender would have a friend,
that the compliance way would always win,
and I'd be given more to spend:
This is my compliance Christmas list.

What is this illusion called ignorance is bliss?
Maybe we won't be criticized for doghouse logo we missed.

There'd be...
No more hair torn out,
and our marketing department would never pout,
and time would heal all dagger stares.
Ev'ry one would be a lender fair,
that just one argument with management I would win,
and love of Crown wouldn't send me into a spin:
This is my compliance Christmas list,
this is my only lifelong, long-struggling, no-chance-in-[censored], wish,

This is my Compliance Officer's Christmas list!

*When we wrote this, for job security reasons, Dawnie would not let me say, "CRA would come to an end"

I guess it is really due an updating for TRID, but I'll save that for "You're a Mean One Mr. Cordray!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS (and always give more than you get)!
_________________________
Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love & homegrown tomatoes

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#2158063 - 12/21/17 04:05 PM Re: Compliance Christmas List Redux The OG Zaibatsu
waldensouth Offline
Power Poster
waldensouth
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,983
FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
Love it!
_________________________
"Once you learn to read, you will be forever free."

- Frederick Douglass




My Opinion Only.

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#2158073 - 12/21/17 04:39 PM Re: Compliance Christmas List Redux The OG Zaibatsu
Reg Warrior Online
100 Club
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 214
Love it.

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#2158083 - 12/21/17 05:52 PM Re: Compliance Christmas List Redux The OG Zaibatsu
P*Q Offline

Power Poster
P*Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 8,458
Somewhere
Z!!!!!! What's up man!!! This is a great read!

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#2158094 - 12/21/17 07:05 PM Re: Compliance Christmas List Redux The OG Zaibatsu
RR Joker Offline
10K Club
RR Joker
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 20,654
The Swamp
laugh!
_________________________
My opinion only. Not legal advice.

Say you'll haunt me - Stone Sour

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#2158113 - 12/21/17 07:43 PM Re: Compliance Christmas List Redux P*Q
The OG Zaibatsu Offline
Diamond Poster
The OG Zaibatsu
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,713
Texas
I'm living the good life, P*Q! Hope you are too!
_________________________
Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love & homegrown tomatoes

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#2158179 - 12/21/17 11:53 PM Re: Compliance Christmas List Redux The OG Zaibatsu
AZloan Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 266
smile Story and wish of my life.

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#2158698 - 12/28/17 11:40 PM Re: Compliance Christmas List Redux The OG Zaibatsu
bOaty Offline
Power Poster
bOaty
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,266
Chillin an grillin
I'll be waiting for You're a Mean One, Mr. C!
_________________________
HMDAHMDAHMDAHMDAHMDAHMDA

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