Spousal consent is required to name a non spouse beneficiary on a qualified retirement plan. However, an IRA is not a qualified retirement plan. So, spousal consent is only required on a non spousal beneficiary designation on an IRA if the couple lives in a community property state. Kentucky is not a community property state.
No one will ever be able to provide you with a citation that something is not
the law. That would be requiring them to prove a negative. If someone says "It's the law!" then that's the person who should be able to pony up the proof.