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#2184701 - 07/10/18 01:57 PM Teen Cell Rules
beegee Offline
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Hey guys -

Does anyone have a good set of rules for tween/teen cell phones?

Thanks!

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#2184703 - 07/10/18 02:08 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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We try to keep it simple so that the phone is understood as a privilege, but not seen as something to sneak around with if that makes sense. We figured the more rules there are, the more temptation there is to break them.

1) We will always know your passcode to open your phone.
2) Your phone doesn't go into your bedroom when you go to bed at night (obviously during the day, no biggie).
3) Never say anything via phone that you wouldn't say to someone's face (bullies that hide behind their electronics are the worst - and we do check his phone from time to time to make sure he's holding up his end of the deal on this one).
4) No phone at the dinner table.

We've had to take the phone away only once for a poor choice he made in talking back to a teacher at school this year, but other than that he's been great with it!
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#2184705 - 07/10/18 02:09 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
edAudit Offline
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You are here
No cell phone

(It is getting difficult)
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#2184706 - 07/10/18 02:12 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules BookWormGirl
beegee Offline
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Also - do you limit the type of apps they have; i.e. snapchat, instagram, etc.

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#2184707 - 07/10/18 02:18 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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He's just shy of being old enough (I think the minimum is 13 years old) to have his own social media accounts, so for now he has none of those. He's mentioned Facebook a few times, but hasn't expressed a lot of interest in getting it once he is old enough. If/When he does have any social media, rule #1 would be expanded to include "we'll always know your password for Facebook/Snapchat/etc."

His big app that he loves is ESPN haha, so we've gotten lucky as far as apps go!
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#2184708 - 07/10/18 02:21 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
raitchjay Online
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OK

His big app that he loves is ESPN haha, so we've gotten lucky as far as apps go!

Sounds like a kid with his priorities in order to me. smile
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#2184710 - 07/10/18 02:29 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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That he is! He was pretty excited last week to announce he already has his team name picked out for fantasy football this year! laugh
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#2184720 - 07/10/18 03:11 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Soccer Offline
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My girls are now in their 20's so when I was dealing with this there where no app issues.

But my biggest advice I can give (which you are already doing) is no phone in their room at night. I made both girls turn off the phone and leave them on the counter. They knew better than to sneak out and get them because their father monitored their activity on-line.

They are both addicted to their phones now, but they have thanked me for being strict when they were in their teens.

I believe it is very important for children to have down time away from the constant stimulation and the need to know.

I just told my husband last night I am so glad I was a kid in the 70's, our biggest worry in the summer was getting a ride to the municipal swimming pool! smile
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#2184744 - 07/10/18 03:59 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
i read an article yesterday about a dad that developed an app that remotely locks a cell phone until the person (presumably your kid) on the other end answers your call or text. seems like something to look in to, the article mentioned several that are available (since i have no kids that young any more the app names have already been scrubbed from my memory).

hard to monitor snapchat as the premise of the app is the message is removed after a few seconds.
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#2184752 - 07/10/18 04:28 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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Agreed, Happy. It's one of the reasons I'm still very much on the fence about Snapchat even after he's old enough to have an account.
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#2184759 - 07/10/18 04:49 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
waldensouth Offline
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I have Verizon and they have Smart Family. I set up the times for allowed usage and indicated how much data she could use each month. I could also determine what type of apps she could access ( i.e. no shopping apps, etc...). It's only $4.99 per month. Well worth it. You could also block phone number and indicate which phone numbers could get thru at any time regardless.
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#2184861 - 07/11/18 01:12 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
DoS Offline
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I can barely get the kid to remember he has a phone ... it always sits in the kitchen usually with a dead battery. It's great, unless the wife and I need to get a hold of him.
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#2184897 - 07/11/18 03:47 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Retired DQ Offline
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I would also enable the GPS so that the phone (or child) can be located.
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#2184899 - 07/11/18 03:52 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules waldensouth
E.E.G.B Offline
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Originally Posted By waldensouth
I have Verizon and they have Smart Family. I set up the times for allowed usage and indicated how much data she could use each month. I could also determine what type of apps she could access ( i.e. no shopping apps, etc...). It's only $4.99 per month. Well worth it. You could also block phone number and indicate which phone numbers could get thru at any time regardless.


We have something similar.

In general our rules are no social media unless one or both parents is on your followers list, and certain social media (Snap, Kik, etc.) is NOT allowed. The 15 y.o. has asked about Snap several times for the filters but now that Instagram has similar filters, she is happier.

One thing that made a huge impression on her recently was attending a week-long cyber crime camp (in theory to teach them to block such things although based on some skills she came home with, I have some doubts....) Once she saw how much data could be easily seen online and used to phish / social engineer / scam people, she started locking down her own stuff.
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#2184900 - 07/11/18 03:54 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules Retired DQ
E.E.G.B Offline
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Originally Posted By DeeQ
I would also enable the GPS so that the phone (or child) can be located.


YES. Also Find My Phone on any I-devices. (Also useful for when Dad misplaces his phone. AGAIN.)
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#2184901 - 07/11/18 03:55 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
E.E.G.B Offline
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Sorry - one more key rule - no phones in the bathroom. Ever.
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#2184902 - 07/11/18 03:58 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
raitchjay Online
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OK
Why not? (I'm probably missing something obvious here.)
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#2184910 - 07/11/18 04:28 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Ric30 Offline
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How do you keep a child from deleting texts? That's a problem we have had. Oldest daughter would text and delete them. We'd check the phone and find one side of the conversation or just pieces. We tried to use a retriever program but it didn't work.

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#2184932 - 07/11/18 05:52 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules Ric30
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
Originally Posted By Ric30
How do you keep a child from deleting texts? That's a problem we have had. Oldest daughter would text and delete them. We'd check the phone and find one side of the conversation or just pieces. We tried to use a retriever program but it didn't work.


take away/restrict the option to text on the phone
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#2184943 - 07/11/18 06:02 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
edAudit Offline
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You are here
based upon the thoughtful posts and comments I am now going from never cellphone; to must have, so my daughter can teach my wife how to limit the use.
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#2184955 - 07/11/18 06:31 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules raitchjay
E.E.G.B Offline
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Originally Posted By raitchjay
Why not? (I'm probably missing something obvious here.)


Well for the boy, he's already dropped an electronic device into the toilet (SIGH) but in general, you don't want them goofing off taking pictures of each other in the shower / tub etc than then "accidentally" get tweeted / texted to someone else.

You would think you wouldn't have to tell them that, but you'd be wrong.
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#2184960 - 07/11/18 06:36 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
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OK
Ahh.....
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#2184961 - 07/11/18 06:37 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
raitchjay Online
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OK
I actually thought (after i thought about this and before you posted that) that the answer was gonna be "cuz if they take their cell phone in the bathroom, they'll stay in there for hours"). LOL
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#2184965 - 07/11/18 06:43 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Christy Goza Offline
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I have a daughter in college and I had a few basic rules: when she was young, GPS locater was on, she had to friend me and her grandmother on social media accts and I needed to know her password to the phone if she had one. I am a big proponent of privacy so only once or twice did I get into her phone and read her texts. They were quite boring and childish and I was actually embarrassed reading them. I not longer have these rules but she has turned out just fine so far.

I came from a very strict home with no privacy and no boundaries. I just didn't want that for her. I decided if she gave me a reason not to trust her I would be more strict, but that didn't happen. I also acknowledge that is probably luck on my part, but we have had a good run so far. I took the phone away from her for 4 days when she was 14. She has behaved ever since.
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#2184986 - 07/11/18 07:14 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
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Reading all of this makes me really glad that my son is now 31 and we bypassed all of these concerns. He got his first phone at 16 right after he started driving - and that was the norm in 2003.

All of you sound like really good hands-on parents - and EEGB - I can't believe the June Bug is now 15. Where does time go?
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#2185022 - 07/11/18 08:13 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules edAudit
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Originally Posted By edAudit
based upon the thoughtful posts and comments I am now going from never cellphone; to must have, so my daughter can teach my wife how to limit the use.


:runs through my ed translator machine:

No help.
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#2185068 - 07/12/18 11:43 AM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
edAudit Offline
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You are here
Based upon the thoughtful posts and comments I am now going from neva cellphone; to must have, so my daughta can teach my wife how to limit the use.

http://funtranslations.com/boston
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#2185081 - 07/12/18 01:27 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules Skittles
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Originally Posted By Skittles
EEGB - I can't believe the June Bug is now 15. Where does time go?


I KNOW. I still think of her as 4, how come she's so tall?! And the little one is almost 13 - in November, I will be mama to TWO TEENAGERS. :: faints ::
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#2185095 - 07/12/18 01:51 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Skittles Offline
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Quickly fans EEGB . . . .
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#2185138 - 07/12/18 04:06 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
thomasj Offline
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I haven't had a chance to read the original post or the replies, but I will add my 2 cents. While it may be tempting to lock your teenager in a cell, even with the best, most thought out rules, there are probably serious legal ramifications. But as a father of two current teens and two who are past their teens - I understand the temptation to lock them up. laugh
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#2185683 - 07/17/18 05:27 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
ItNeverEnds CRCM Offline
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My daughter is 13 and shes had a phone since at least 10 and has Instagram and Snapchat. All her friends, even the more strict ones do. My only current "rules" would be that it's a privilege and it belongs to me along with the service and she can't follow someone she doesn't personally know (unless it's a celebrity/public figure). If I can't trust my daughter to not do the right thing on her phone then how can I trust her in real life situations?

I have no restrictions about having her phone on at night in her room, she's responsible enough to know when she needs to sleep. If she wasn't, then she wouldn't have the phone.

She's been educated by me forcing her to watch shows about teens taken advantage of through drugs, apps and in person,etc. with shows like Dateline, Dr. Phil and other shows that have those topics.

Also, I'm of the belief that kids that have strict rules like monitoring of music, restrictions on what apps they can have and aren't allowed to watch a movie because it might be rated R, etc., are more likely to want to rebel. I feel like I've raised her with the right values and morals. I personally watch a lot of YouTube and associated YouTube drama so that I can know what these people are putting out there (which is honestly horrifying) and I'll ask my daughter if she saw this or that. So that I can judge what's she's watching.

I guess it all comes down to the type of kid you have, what you've exposed them to, how well they respect you and any family/kid rules already in place. But I wouldn't play around, they should know what's appropriate and not and know what you would or wouldn't approve of and if they did something to violate that, then no phone.
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#2185717 - 07/17/18 06:51 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
edAudit Offline
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Sorry but education and dr Phil makes me laugh
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#2185731 - 07/17/18 07:27 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
if you don't monitor her music then likely she'll think rap is good...and that is a parenting fail...
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#2185787 - 07/17/18 11:52 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules edAudit
ItNeverEnds CRCM Offline
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Originally Posted By edAudit
Sorry but education and dr Phil makes me laugh


Lol, I didn't mean it to come out like that! I meant it more like she's been forced to see stories of things that have happened to kids.

Originally Posted By HappyGilmore
if you don't monitor her music then likely she'll think rap is good...and that is a parenting fail...


Lol, luckily so far (knock on wood) she doesn't. If things get this bad, we'll have to re-evaluate our rules.
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#2191175 - 08/30/18 01:35 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
E.E.G.B Offline
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We found this app called Life 360. You can set up a circle of family and it shows you exactly where all the registered members are at any given time. You can label certain locations and it will alert you if anyone in the circle arrives / leaves at that location (ie, "EEGB has left work".) It also shows you what percent the phone battery associated with each user is, so when your kid says "Oh, I didn't check in with you because my phone died", you can verify that. smile

They also have a feature called drivers report - it will show what the top speed is for each driver, whether there was texting while driving going on, etc. (Of course in my house that top speed thing is going to be seen as a challenge, with each driver vying for High Score......)
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#2191230 - 08/30/18 04:04 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
GuitarDude Offline
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Originally Posted By E.E.G.B
They also have a feature called drivers report - it will show what the top speed is for each driver


If smartphones and this app had been available when I was a teen, I probably would have tried to use it to clock my fast ball. laugh
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#2191469 - 08/31/18 09:03 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules E.E.G.B
MonicaMc Offline
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Originally Posted By E.E.G.B
We found this app called Life 360. You can set up a circle of family and it shows you exactly where all the registered members are at any given time. You can label certain locations and it will alert you if anyone in the circle arrives / leaves at that location (ie, "EEGB has left work".) It also shows you what percent the phone battery associated with each user is, so when your kid says "Oh, I didn't check in with you because my phone died", you can verify that. smile

They also have a feature called drivers report - it will show what the top speed is for each driver, whether there was texting while driving going on, etc. (Of course in my house that top speed thing is going to be seen as a challenge, with each driver vying for High Score......)


I was intrigued by Life360 so I Googled it for reviews. Good laugh for this Friday afternoon. Apparently the GPS on this app isn't great at times and is causing many people marital issues.

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#2191484 - 08/31/18 10:32 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Reg Warrior Offline
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If your family has iphones, you don't need an app like Life360. My family uses Apple's share location, so I know where my husband and kids are at all times. The kids know if they turn off the location sharing, I'll be calling every 5 minutes until they turn it back on. As for driving, my kids don't need to be monitored as they follow the rules for the most part,, but my husband.......well, everyone stay off the roads and sidewalks and you will live to see another day.

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#2191494 - 09/02/18 10:36 AM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
E.E.G.B Offline
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The only one we have a little trouble with is my daughter's iPhone, she is always racing ahead or running behind us. It's generally only a "problem" in the really zoomed in view, otherwise it works well.

I have an Android now and I never found the Apple Share to work all that well on my iDevice so this is a big improvement.
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#2192518 - 09/13/18 08:14 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules MonicaMc
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Originally Posted By MonicaMc
I was intrigued by Life360 so I Googled it for reviews. Good laugh for this Friday afternoon. Apparently the GPS on this app isn't great at times and is causing many people marital issues.
I can only imagine! laugh
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