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#2184701 - 07/10/18 01:57 PM Teen Cell Rules
beegee Offline
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South
Hey guys -

Does anyone have a good set of rules for tween/teen cell phones?

Thanks!

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#2184703 - 07/10/18 02:08 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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Upper Midwest
We try to keep it simple so that the phone is understood as a privilege, but not seen as something to sneak around with if that makes sense. We figured the more rules there are, the more temptation there is to break them.

1) We will always know your passcode to open your phone.
2) Your phone doesn't go into your bedroom when you go to bed at night (obviously during the day, no biggie).
3) Never say anything via phone that you wouldn't say to someone's face (bullies that hide behind their electronics are the worst - and we do check his phone from time to time to make sure he's holding up his end of the deal on this one).
4) No phone at the dinner table.

We've had to take the phone away only once for a poor choice he made in talking back to a teacher at school this year, but other than that he's been great with it!
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#2184705 - 07/10/18 02:09 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
edAudit Offline
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edAudit
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You are here
No cell phone

(It is getting difficult)
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#2184706 - 07/10/18 02:12 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules BookWormGirl
beegee Offline
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Also - do you limit the type of apps they have; i.e. snapchat, instagram, etc.

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#2184707 - 07/10/18 02:18 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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Upper Midwest
He's just shy of being old enough (I think the minimum is 13 years old) to have his own social media accounts, so for now he has none of those. He's mentioned Facebook a few times, but hasn't expressed a lot of interest in getting it once he is old enough. If/When he does have any social media, rule #1 would be expanded to include "we'll always know your password for Facebook/Snapchat/etc."

His big app that he loves is ESPN haha, so we've gotten lucky as far as apps go!
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#2184708 - 07/10/18 02:21 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
raitchjay Online
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OK

His big app that he loves is ESPN haha, so we've gotten lucky as far as apps go!

Sounds like a kid with his priorities in order to me. smile
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#2184710 - 07/10/18 02:29 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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That he is! He was pretty excited last week to announce he already has his team name picked out for fantasy football this year! laugh
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#2184720 - 07/10/18 03:11 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Soccer Offline
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Utopia
My girls are now in their 20's so when I was dealing with this there where no app issues.

But my biggest advice I can give (which you are already doing) is no phone in their room at night. I made both girls turn off the phone and leave them on the counter. They knew better than to sneak out and get them because their father monitored their activity on-line.

They are both addicted to their phones now, but they have thanked me for being strict when they were in their teens.

I believe it is very important for children to have down time away from the constant stimulation and the need to know.

I just told my husband last night I am so glad I was a kid in the 70's, our biggest worry in the summer was getting a ride to the municipal swimming pool! smile
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#2184744 - 07/10/18 03:59 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
i read an article yesterday about a dad that developed an app that remotely locks a cell phone until the person (presumably your kid) on the other end answers your call or text. seems like something to look in to, the article mentioned several that are available (since i have no kids that young any more the app names have already been scrubbed from my memory).

hard to monitor snapchat as the premise of the app is the message is removed after a few seconds.
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#2184752 - 07/10/18 04:28 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
BookWormGirl Offline
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Upper Midwest
Agreed, Happy. It's one of the reasons I'm still very much on the fence about Snapchat even after he's old enough to have an account.
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#2184759 - 07/10/18 04:49 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
waldensouth Offline
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FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
I have Verizon and they have Smart Family. I set up the times for allowed usage and indicated how much data she could use each month. I could also determine what type of apps she could access ( i.e. no shopping apps, etc...). It's only $4.99 per month. Well worth it. You could also block phone number and indicate which phone numbers could get thru at any time regardless.
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#2184861 - 07/11/18 01:12 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
DoS Offline
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I can barely get the kid to remember he has a phone ... it always sits in the kitchen usually with a dead battery. It's great, unless the wife and I need to get a hold of him.
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#2184897 - 07/11/18 03:47 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
DeeQ Offline
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I would also enable the GPS so that the phone (or child) can be located.
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#2184899 - 07/11/18 03:52 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules waldensouth
E.E.G.B Offline
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Originally Posted By waldensouth
I have Verizon and they have Smart Family. I set up the times for allowed usage and indicated how much data she could use each month. I could also determine what type of apps she could access ( i.e. no shopping apps, etc...). It's only $4.99 per month. Well worth it. You could also block phone number and indicate which phone numbers could get thru at any time regardless.


We have something similar.

In general our rules are no social media unless one or both parents is on your followers list, and certain social media (Snap, Kik, etc.) is NOT allowed. The 15 y.o. has asked about Snap several times for the filters but now that Instagram has similar filters, she is happier.

One thing that made a huge impression on her recently was attending a week-long cyber crime camp (in theory to teach them to block such things although based on some skills she came home with, I have some doubts....) Once she saw how much data could be easily seen online and used to phish / social engineer / scam people, she started locking down her own stuff.
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#2184900 - 07/11/18 03:54 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules DeeQ
E.E.G.B Offline
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Originally Posted By DeeQ
I would also enable the GPS so that the phone (or child) can be located.


YES. Also Find My Phone on any I-devices. (Also useful for when Dad misplaces his phone. AGAIN.)
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#2184901 - 07/11/18 03:55 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
E.E.G.B Offline
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the sandy shore
Sorry - one more key rule - no phones in the bathroom. Ever.
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#2184902 - 07/11/18 03:58 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
raitchjay Online
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OK
Why not? (I'm probably missing something obvious here.)
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#2184910 - 07/11/18 04:28 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Ric30 Offline
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How do you keep a child from deleting texts? That's a problem we have had. Oldest daughter would text and delete them. We'd check the phone and find one side of the conversation or just pieces. We tried to use a retriever program but it didn't work.

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#2184932 - 07/11/18 05:52 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules Ric30
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
Originally Posted By Ric30
How do you keep a child from deleting texts? That's a problem we have had. Oldest daughter would text and delete them. We'd check the phone and find one side of the conversation or just pieces. We tried to use a retriever program but it didn't work.


take away/restrict the option to text on the phone
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#2184943 - 07/11/18 06:02 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
edAudit Offline
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You are here
based upon the thoughtful posts and comments I am now going from never cellphone; to must have, so my daughter can teach my wife how to limit the use.
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#2184955 - 07/11/18 06:31 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules raitchjay
E.E.G.B Offline
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Originally Posted By raitchjay
Why not? (I'm probably missing something obvious here.)


Well for the boy, he's already dropped an electronic device into the toilet (SIGH) but in general, you don't want them goofing off taking pictures of each other in the shower / tub etc than then "accidentally" get tweeted / texted to someone else.

You would think you wouldn't have to tell them that, but you'd be wrong.
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#2184960 - 07/11/18 06:36 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
raitchjay Online
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OK
Ahh.....
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#2184961 - 07/11/18 06:37 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
raitchjay Online
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OK
I actually thought (after i thought about this and before you posted that) that the answer was gonna be "cuz if they take their cell phone in the bathroom, they'll stay in there for hours"). LOL
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#2184965 - 07/11/18 06:43 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Christy Goza Offline
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I have a daughter in college and I had a few basic rules: when she was young, GPS locater was on, she had to friend me and her grandmother on social media accts and I needed to know her password to the phone if she had one. I am a big proponent of privacy so only once or twice did I get into her phone and read her texts. They were quite boring and childish and I was actually embarrassed reading them. I not longer have these rules but she has turned out just fine so far.

I came from a very strict home with no privacy and no boundaries. I just didn't want that for her. I decided if she gave me a reason not to trust her I would be more strict, but that didn't happen. I also acknowledge that is probably luck on my part, but we have had a good run so far. I took the phone away from her for 4 days when she was 14. She has behaved ever since.
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#2184986 - 07/11/18 07:14 PM Re: Teen Cell Rules beegee
Skittles Online
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Reading all of this makes me really glad that my son is now 31 and we bypassed all of these concerns. He got his first phone at 16 right after he started driving - and that was the norm in 2003.

All of you sound like really good hands-on parents - and EEGB - I can't believe the June Bug is now 15. Where does time go?
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