Any of you with contact with small children should have some funny stuff for this thread.

My 3 year old for instance sings this song:
"winkle, winkle little frog"(Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

Last Sunday during the Childrens part of the morning worship service, the pastor asked what all Kings had in common. A young lady replied "A Bald Head"

My favorite was when I was working at the Sunday School and we were discussing the 10 commandments, and after talking about which commandment told the children how to act towards the adults in their life the young guys all answered in such perfect harmony "Honor your momma and your pappa". Then I asked if any of the commandments told them how to act towards their little brothers and sisters... They were all stumped. I was trying to get them to think and say any of them (though shalt not steal was in my mind). After about a minute a little girl said "You should not kill!" and everyone giggled, including me.

One afternoon my niece was watching her favorite show, "The Saddle Club". When I walked into the room and looked at the TV one of the little girls from the show was doubled over standing by her horse and I asked my niece what was wrong with her? My niece told me matter-of-factly that, "Her independence hurt". Of course she meant her appendix. We laugh about that to this day! And another one...we were heading to Montana for a family reunion this summer. As we drove across North Dakota I told my niece and nephew to keep an eye out for wild life like antelope and mule deer. We drove along for awhile and then we spotted some cows and calves in a pasture. My niece (she's so cute) asked, "Are those wild cows?". Oh my gosh, I almost had to pull the car over!!

When my son was two, he was playing outside. Suddenly, he threw open the door and was loudly crying with his diaper (full of diarrhea) around his ankles. When I asked him what happened, he exclaimed "my butt exploded!"

He's nine now. The other day, we went to McDonald's for a happy meal. They are giving away mini-beannie babies with various McDonald's food items on them. When I looked around, my son was shaking the small bear vigerously. When I asked him why, he said "the tag says to." I looked at the tag to see that the bear's name was "Shake the bear." He thought it was a command! How innocent - I'm sure he'll grow out of it!

Our 2 year old has to point out every cow and horse she sees. During our trip to ND and MT this summer, every time she would see a pasture, she would yell out COWS or HORSIES and we would ask her how many do you see and her response was always "5!". It was so cute we had to videotape it. During this same trip she discovered trains (we only have one track through town and it is not near our house). She would yell "choo choo" and pull her arm in an up and down motion like she has seen on Dora videos. The first time she saw a train, she did this for 30 minutes straight.

Our oldest daughter has always called Pocahontas, Hocapontas. She also calls the deep end of the pool, deep cotton. She was so excited last week during swimming lessons when she was able to swim in "deep cotton".

My daughter's name is Anissa Shalene. When she was little someone asked her her name and she said "Anissa Machine". The person thought we were quite weird for nameing her that.

When my son was little, he's get the first letters of words goofed up. Here's a sample . . .

"Mommy, there goes the Tire F*ck"

I had a baby in January (and the son is now 8). He asked me if I nursed him too . . . I said yes . . . he said (in a very dreamy voice) . . . ooohhhh goooooooood

When my son was 2 - 2 1/2, we began playing a game to help teach him letters, sounds and how to read. I would say a word and he would tell me what letter it started with. This worked really well in the car and made the time fly by.

When he was about 3 he came running to me and said 'Mommy, mommy, I've got one' He said 'F' fffff, fffff, fridgerator'.

I cracked up laughing and then corrected him. I will never forget that one.

My 3 year old has trouble with forgot. She'll say, "Oh, Mommy, you almost gotfor my sunglasses!" Sometimes she gets it right, but most times it's gotfor.

She sings You Are My Sunshine: you make me happy, when skies are braid.

The Farmer in the Dell is The Farmer and Adele (she has a friend named Adele).

Almost from the time she could speak, my niece Megan renamed her favorite bear:

Penny the Woo

When my little girl was about 1 year old, she had a toy--an Alpa-bug. It has a letter of the alphabet on each of its legs. In one setting, pressing a leg will cause the bug to make the sound that the letter makes. One day, my daughter was inadvertently pressing two of the legs over an over. My wife and I looked at each other startled when we heard the sound "FU" (as in "funny") followed shortly thereafter by the sound "K" over and over. The company that makes this toy has now fixed this problem. If you press the "F" and then press the "K" the toy says, "that tickles" before it makes the "K" sound.

Many years ago when I was a teller we used to hand out lollipops to the kids. One day after handing one out, the parent said to the child "now what do you say?". The child looked at me and then the lollipop and with a very serious expression said "I think I can eat it!"

After all these years I still laugh when I think about that!

My day care lady just e-mailed me that she told my son (3) he couldn't have a toy and he replied with "my mommy is bigger than you". She about choked on her Cheerios!

My 22 month old son started talking much more during our vacation to the beach. He picked up the words "Big Boat" (with a long empasis on the "O") that he now uses to refer to just about everything that is the size of a boat. He also learned the word "Plane" as there were f-16 and f-18 fighter jets constantly overhead.

He also refers to any type of dirt, sand, or mud as "Poop" which he says with an extremely serious and concerned look on his face. Kind of like the look on my face the first time he walked up to me with mud on his hands and said "Poop"

Thank goodness he didn't pick up any new words when our van broke down on the way home! (just kidding)

My 2-year old says "gabbos" instead of Wiggles.

Our 4 year old told us "I went for a ride in grandpa's Mickey van. I mean his mini van."

On the phone with his grandma while mommy was making asparagus, he told grandma "mommy's cooking esophaguses."

My great grandma had a saying that she would use when someone would belch, "'Scuse the pig, the trough is running over". My son started saying that shortly after she passed away, but his version was , "Excuse me, your pig is in the traffic". He still says that 4 years later!

LOLOL

My four year old will sing Itsty Bitsy Spider as:

Ippy Dippy Spider.

She also loves ... Get'r done!

When my nephew was 3 or 4, he would often say 'fur' instead of the correct first syllable of a word. For instance, those cinnamon candies were 'Hot Furmales', and his cute little friend Mackenzie was Furkenzie. Still makes me smile!

His older sister, when she was about two, would always snuggle up as close as she could get to you, then say, "Moose over, you're skishing me!" She's a teenager now, but I don't think she'll ever get to forget that one!

When my niece was four, she would say:

Mountain Dude instead of Mountain Dew
Bathing soup instead of bathing suit
Lellow instead of yellow

I loved it!