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#279263 - 11/24/04 02:33 PM
What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Monday, I got my son's progress report from school. Inside it was a sheet telling me that we have a meeting scheduled for Dec. 15th. Now, normally, I would think that it's just the normal parent teacher conference, but there is going to be me, his teacher, another teacher, and the school counselor. I am thinking, "Holy Moley, what has he done?!" So, yesterday, I sent a note to his teacher in his folder asking what the meeting was about, and got no response. So then I called her at home and left a message last night, and got no response (very rude to just not call back). Yesterday was their last day of school before the Thanksgiving holidays, so now I'm on pins and needles wondering why we have to have a 3 against 1 meeting about my child. I am a good mom, and he's a good kid. He does have problems listening, but what kid at his age doesn't. She hasn't sent home any notes before this complaining about his behavior, etc. Anybody have any advice/ideas? I would think that if it's something that serious, why would they put it off for three weeks?
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#279264 - 11/24/04 02:38 PM
Re: What do you think?
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10K Club
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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I would be concerned as well. Have you tried to contact the counselor. I would call every 30 minutes until he/she took my call and have him/her explain to me what the problem or concern is.
It really makes you wonder...
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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#279265 - 11/24/04 02:44 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Yes, doesn't it? I have never had anything happen like this before. I told my husband last night, "They are calling me in there, 3 against one, like he's a little Hannibal Lechter or something!" I just don't understand. Like I say, if it was that serious, wouldn't they have talked to him first? I asked him last night if he had talked to the counselor any, and he said no. It seems very odd.
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#279266 - 11/24/04 02:44 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,454
metsuretsu
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You have more patience than I. I would have already called the principal, then the superindendent, then the members of the school board if necessary until someone was willing and able to get me my answers.  (Obviously, I am every teacher's worst nightmare.  )
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I have many opinions; some are good, some are bad, and some don't contradict.
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#279267 - 11/24/04 02:59 PM
Re: What do you think?
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10K Club
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
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Heck - I probably would have been parked at the door.
How old is your son? When my son was in 2nd grade, we had a parent teacher conference and everything was wonderful. Then 2 weeks later we got his report card with a 'C' in conduct because he talks too much. I was furious. Why hadn't the teacher mentioned that during the conference?
I'm sure it won't be really as awful as you're imagining - if it was they wouldn't be waiting until December 15th to talk to you. Have you asked your son if anything different was going on at school?
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My Opinions Only
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#279268 - 11/24/04 03:06 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Yes, he says he is doing just fine. I just emailed the school counselor. Maybe she will be there working at the school today, even though it's closed. I told her that I wanted that conference date moved up to the SOONEST DATE POSSIBLE. He's in first grade. All I can think of is that they think he's an abused child, or he showed his wee-wee to someone ( a friend of ours had a child that did that years ago), or something else horrifying. My husband said maybe they want to have the meeting because they want him to skip a grade. But to have all those people involved in that? The other teacher is a first grade teacher. I asked my son if this other teacher ever teaches his class and he said no. So why would they have her there? As a witness to something?? It drives me crazy, the not knowing.
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#279269 - 11/24/04 03:12 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,719
PA
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Please try to keep an open mind. I have 5 children in elementary school (yes, I am on a first name basis with the entire school staff), and I have attended several meetings of this nature, for quite a few different reasons, and I've never felt like anyone was ganging up on me (but that doesn't mean I have agreed with everything the school has said, either).
It is very possible that the school has identified an academic area where they feel your son could benefit from specialized or alternate instruction. It's not unusual for the counselor to be involved in such meetings. If your son's class had recently taken some type of standardized test, the results of the test could trigger the meeting.
Chances are, if it was something really serious (bullying, daily trips to the nurse, etc.) they would have already notified you.
Also, did the progress report note any areas where your son's performance varies considerably from other areas? And do you know what role the 'other' teacher plays in this? Is this simply another regular classroom teacher, or someone who has a more specialized role?
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#279270 - 11/24/04 03:13 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Personally I would find this behavior arrogant by the school and teachers, to sting you along like this. My son is 13. He is really struggling with math this year. I went to the parent teacher conference and spoke with the math teacher who confirmed that he was failing. She said she would have a student who "got it" with him for extra help. He was still struggling when I called his counselor. She sent me a list of high school kids that would tutor him. I called a couple but they weren't interested. I called the counselor back and then she told me the teacher holds tutoring classes on Tuesday after school. I flipped my lid, it was not until 4 weeks after the conference (which the teacher failed to mention that she held these classes) that I was told. Since then she moved the class from Tues to Wed, then on Wed she said to come on Thurs. We couldn't due to a conflict. Yesterday he went to her room only to find out she had a family emergency and couldn't stay. So now it's been 6 weeks and he's falling further and further behind. I'm so disguted with public schools. These teachers whine like babies and in my State they start at over $50,000.00 for basically a parttime job, 6 hours per day, 180 days per year. They have $2.00 co pays and pay no state taxes on their retirement. I'm in the wrong business!
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#279271 - 11/24/04 03:16 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,626
State of confusion
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Keep calling, at home if necessary. You have a right to know, even if it is something good, to have a clue what you will be walking into. Call the principle, and the counselor, and both of the teachers until someone answers you. They are being very rude, even if it isn't bad news and from what you say about your son it probably isn't bad. Keep you head up and harass them until they talk!
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Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more that standing in your garage makes you a car.
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#279272 - 11/24/04 03:18 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Yes, his handwriting needs work. He has "S" ratings for all his other stuff, and a "N", for "Needs Improvement" on his handwriting. The teacher had put a note in the comments section and all it said was that "He has a hard time with concentrating in class because he is talking and getting distracted" It said something like that, anyway. But to have 3 people in a meeting for handwriting and talking, when no warning before this was given? That just seems crazy to me.
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#279273 - 11/24/04 03:43 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 5,063
Pennsylvania
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Last year my daughter, who was in third grade at the time, brought home a note saying that she had been chosen to participate in an after school program. When we asked her what it was about, it became clear that it was a tutoring program, and that only a few kids in each class were chosen to participate. A phone call to the teacher revealed that my daughter was an "average" student - meaning that she was not excelling or falling behind - and that they wanted to tutor these "average" students so that their standardized test scores would be higher. She was a straight A student according to her report cards, shouldn't an "average" student be bringing home B's and C's? Anyway, she went through the program and it did help. What really frustrates me is, after attending room visitation the past few years, it seems quite clear to me that the teachers are teaching the kids to do well on the standardized tests without really teaching the logic or concept. You can teach someone to pass a test without them really grasping the concept. Public education can be very frustrating!!!
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Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to say it.
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#279274 - 11/24/04 03:51 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Amen! There is too much attention paid to these tests. I hear that the teachers are under alot of pressure for these kids to pass the tests, and that the whole second half of the school year is devoted to studying for these "tests". Now it's to where your kid won't go to the next grade if they don't pass these tests, regardless of what their grades have been throughout the year. I think that's awful.
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#279275 - 11/24/04 04:05 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Gold Star
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 304
Midwest
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To the anon who thinks teaching is a part time job.....you obviously haven't a clue. Lesson plans, grading papers, attending and coaching extra-curricular activities all is above and beyond the hours spent in front of the students in the class room. How about PTA/PTO meetings? How about the teachers that purchase their own supplies because the levy didn't pass and they STILL feel driven to use their own resources to make sure "their" kids have what they need?
As far as the original poster....keep trying to find out what this is all about. You need to be an advocate for your child, and you need to be prepared for this meeting. They owe you an explanation so that you CAN be prepared. To wait until 12/15 IS unfair. If your child has issues unknown to you, it only perpetuates these issues to wait that long.
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If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.
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#279276 - 11/24/04 04:06 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,719
PA
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Quote:
What really frustrates me is, after attending room visitation the past few years, it seems quite clear to me that the teachers are teaching the kids to do well on the standardized tests without really teaching the logic or concept. You can teach someone to pass a test without them really grasping the concept.
The reading and writing portions of the tests don't bother me too much, but the math tests (and the resulting math curriculum) drive me up the wall! My kids get stuck learning simle addition with all of these crazy circles, beraking up numbers, recombining them a different way- basically everything except the 'right' way (stack the number up, add the columns, carry the one, etc.). None of them had any success with the circles and diagrams, but they have no problems at all when doing math the right way. And the school insists on blaming the crazy math on the state (which may be true- can other PA residents verify this).
Of course, these ridiculous math diagrams leave me with one question- If we all did math this way, what would a check register look like?
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#279277 - 11/24/04 04:14 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 942
Kentucky
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Same here in KY, Jac. My son's science teacher informed us this year that they would not be studying science in her class between October and April, but "Practical Living," because the state tests would cover this topic this year. Practical Living???? Why would you pre-empt something so basic and important as science to teach bicycle safety, etc.? I agree that it's ridiculous the teachers can't design their own curriculum any longer and have to teach according to "what will be on the tests." It's no wonder we're graduating kids that can't spell, can't do simple math, and have no concept of history or current events. But, hey, our school system scored 3rd in the state this year on standardized tests. Woo-hoo.
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#279278 - 11/24/04 04:15 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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I agree. If he has some serious problem, I don't want to wait, I want to deal with it ASAP. I don't understand what all the big deal is about. A simple phone call to my workplace would have been sufficient on the day the incident (if this is even ABOUT an incident) happened. I know teachers do not have an easy job (I would go nuts if I were a teacher) but we parents don't have an easy job either.
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#279279 - 11/24/04 04:17 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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This is the anon who wrote teaching being a part time job. Unfortunately I do have a clue as I have 2 brothers who are retired teachers as well as many friends that teach, probably 8 or 9 that I can think of. Once you make a lesson plan you can pretty much stick to it unless there are major changes in the ciriculum (sp?), grading papers is usually done on their hour break during the day and in our schools they only send 1 teacher to the PTA meeting which is held once per month. I've never had a teacher purchase supplies as a matter of fact they ask that every student bring a box of kleenex for the class. There are some very dedicated teachers that do go beyond, but they usually get paid for the coaching, etc. I don't want to highjack this thread and turn it into an argument about teaching, just wanted you to know I have a huge clue. I also used to work in the school system as well as volunteer to teach reading because the teacher didn't want to stay after class.
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#279280 - 11/24/04 04:22 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,975
Alderaan
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My 2 cents:
I agree with the posters that said to be persistent with the teacher. I would contact the principal as well. In our district, we have the email names of the teachers, principal, etc. This is very frustrating to hear that they are being so vague in light of so many parents who don't care. Be persistent and good luck.
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Duct tape is like the force: It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
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#279281 - 11/24/04 04:31 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,719
PA
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Quote:
This is very frustrating to hear that they are being so vague in light of so many parents who don't care.
Unfortunately, many of the schools' expectations seem to be based on their experience with the parents who don't care, which, as you noted, can make things quite frustrating for those of us that do care.
My childrens' principal has on several occasions thanked me for being so involved with my children. It's sad that she should even be in a position to think this is something noteworthy, much less worth thanking a parent. They're my kids- why wouldn't I be involved with them?
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#279282 - 11/24/04 04:54 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 5,063
Pennsylvania
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Quote:
My kids get stuck learning simle addition with all of these crazy circles, beraking up numbers, recombining them a different way- basically everything except the 'right' way (stack the number up, add the columns, carry the one, etc.).
Amen to that Jac, my daughter has had the same problem. When I try to show her a simpler way to do something, she tells me she can't do it that way or she will get in trouble. Some nights it takes me 15 minutes to a half hour to figure out what they are asking her to do before I can help her.
Last week we went to parent visitation and they were writing paragraphs using the "four square" method because that is how it is done on the standardized tests. I don't have a problem with using that method as a tool, but to me if every paragraph has to conform to that template all of their paragraphs will be the same - no creativity.
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Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to say it.
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#279283 - 11/24/04 05:14 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,975
Alderaan
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What seems to have happened is these standardized tests (thank you "No Child Left Behind"  ) is now ruling how our children are taught. Schools (at least up here) are paranoid about being put on "the list". Doesn't matter if they understand the concepts, the kids just have to know how to test well.
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Duct tape is like the force: It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
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#279285 - 11/24/04 05:55 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,626
State of confusion
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Quote:
This is the anon who wrote teaching being a part time job. Unfortunately I do have a clue as I have 2 brothers who are retired teachers as well as many friends that teach, probably 8 or 9 that I can think of. Once you make a lesson plan you can pretty much stick to it unless there are major changes in the ciriculum (sp?), grading papers is usually done on their hour break during the day and in our schools they only send 1 teacher to the PTA meeting which is held once per month. I've never had a teacher purchase supplies as a matter of fact they ask that every student bring a box of kleenex for the class. There are some very dedicated teachers that do go beyond, but they usually get paid for the coaching, etc. I don't want to highjack this thread and turn it into an argument about teaching, just wanted you to know I have a huge clue. I also used to work in the school system as well as volunteer to teach reading because the teacher didn't want to stay after class.
I am sorry to also reply to this when I am more concerned with the original poster than this topic however, just because you have had contact with a couple of half a@##$ teachers does not mean that is how teachers are. I have had many teachers that are still friends of mine and have also worked in a middle school and I can tell you, just setting a schedule for learning does not mean you don't need to change it. Each class, and each student has different needs that you need to accomidate for. If you think it's as easy as grading tests and papers one hour a day and that is as involved as you and the people you know, then I thank God you weren't involved in my education and won't be involved with my son's.
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Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more that standing in your garage makes you a car.
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#279286 - 11/24/04 06:09 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Gold Star
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 304
Midwest
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AMEN Beagles! Very well said!
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If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.
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#279287 - 11/24/04 06:25 PM
Re: What do you think?
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Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,706
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Try not to get too worried yet. We had a similar situation with my daughter when she was in first grade. We had the principle, her teacher and a counselor in the room. Turned out that they were concerned about her speech. She talked like she was younger than she was. They wanted to discuss speach therapy. No big deal. We took her in for an advanced hearing test and agreed to work with her and it turned out she never had to go. Part of it was our fault for not correcting her speech when we could have. Hang in there.
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Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
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