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#289024 - 12/14/04 08:51 PM Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
zaibatsu Offline
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 6,153
Compliance Officer's christmas list

By zaibatsu and Dawnie
with apologies to Mrs. Vince Gill

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee.
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies.
Well, I'm all grown up now,
But still need help somehow.
I'm a compliance officer but my heart still can dream.

So here's my lifelong wish,
my compliance christmas list,
not for myself, but for compliance officers in need:

No more privacy torn apart,
and the new HMDA would never start,
and time would heal all examiners’ hearts.
CRA would learn to bend*,
that common sense would always win,
and the CEO would be the compliance officer’s friend:
This is my compliance officer christmas list.

As children we believed
the grandest sight to see
was something lovely wrapped beneath the tree.
Well, my regulator surely knows
that packages and bows
can never conceal a bad exam’s blow.

No more Loan Registers torn apart,
and silly lenders would never start,
and doctors could give the board real hearts.
Ev'ry lender would have a friend,
that the compliance way would always win,
and I’d be given more to spend:
This is my compliance christmas list.

What is this illusion called ignorance is bliss?
Maybe we won’t be criticized for doghouse logo we missed.

There'd be...
No more hair torn out,
and our marketing department would never pout,
and time would heal all dagger stares.
Ev'ry one would be a lender fair,
that just one argument with management I would win,
and love of Crown wouldn’t send me into a spin:
This is my compliance christmas list,
this is my only lifelong, long-struggling, no-chance-in-hell, wish,

This is my Compliance Officer's christmas list!

*For job security reasons, Dawnie would not let me say, “CRA would come to an end”

MERRY CHRISTMAS (and always give more than you get)
_________________________
Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city

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#289025 - 12/14/04 08:55 PM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
Anonymous
Unregistered

Merry Christmas to you as well and thank you for sharing that.

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#289026 - 12/14/04 08:57 PM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
DeeQ Offline
10K Club
DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,760
Turnpike Exit 10
Beautiful!
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#289027 - 12/14/04 08:57 PM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
Clown Boy Offline
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Clown Boy
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,934
here and there
oops, that was me that posted anon...
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I am the ringmaster of my domain!

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#289028 - 12/14/04 10:44 PM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
corkygirl Offline
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 4,241
middle of the country
Merry Christmas to you!! That is good, think I'll take it to my compliance committee meeting next week
_________________________
Treading water in a hurricane

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#289029 - 12/06/05 03:52 AM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
Anonymous
Unregistered

An oldie but a goodie--read the first post in this thread!

Merry Christmas

-z- and HRH D

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#289030 - 12/06/05 06:09 AM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
Princess Romeo Offline

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Princess Romeo
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,272
Where the heart is
Yes - but it needs to be updated with the latest "lumps of coal" in the stockings of Compliance Officers:

BSA/AML/CIP/KYC/EDD/OFAC/USAPA
_________________________
CRCM,CAMS
Regulations are a poor substitute for ethics.
Just sayin'

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#289031 - 12/06/05 02:55 PM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

Yes - but it needs to be updated with the latest "lumps of coal" in the stockings of Compliance Officers:

BSA/AML/CIP/KYC/EDD/OFAC/USAPA




Bonnie

Can you get tha done by the 24th?

-z-

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#289032 - 12/08/05 06:42 AM Re: Encore of Compliance Officer's Christmas List
Princess Romeo Offline

Power Poster
Princess Romeo
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,272
Where the heart is
Quote:

Quote:

Yes - but it needs to be updated with the latest "lumps of coal" in the stockings of Compliance Officers:

BSA/AML/CIP/KYC/EDD/OFAC/USAPA




Bonnie

Can you get tha done by the 24th?

-z-



Umm...okay, but only if you'll accept a non-rhyming stream of consciousness rant with poor punctuation.
_________________________
CRCM,CAMS
Regulations are a poor substitute for ethics.
Just sayin'

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