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#290677 - 12/18/04 12:52 AM Paragraph Association Thread
Blade Scrapper Offline
Power Poster
Blade Scrapper
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,912
Outside A Garage
The other day I went to the store. I bought some eggs and cheese and a copy of the National Review. I paid with my debit card. Then, I went home to make an omelette.
_________________________
...you guys, I'm going home

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#290678 - 12/18/04 01:01 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
HRH Dawnie Offline
Power Poster
HRH Dawnie
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,353
Anchorage Alaska
When I arrived home I learned that the eggs were rotten and the cheese was spoiled. My copy of the National Review had been torn to bits inside by coupon seekers, and my debit card was left at the store. I proceeded to look for a bottle of gin.
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Dawn Coursey VP/CRA Queen

CRA Rating is in...Oh who cares...I'm home with the baby.

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#290679 - 12/18/04 03:05 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Citrus Offline
Diamond Poster
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,139
Finally found that dang bottle - someone had hidden it behind a jar of olives! I drank way too much of it. Guzzle guzzle guzzle. I hadn't prepared that omelette and the gin went straight to my head!

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#290680 - 12/21/04 10:31 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Tesla Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,687
The doorbell rang or maybe that was just my head ringing. Anyway, I went to the door and there stood Brad Pitt holding my debit card!

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#290681 - 12/21/04 11:41 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

The doorbell rang or maybe that was just my head ringing. Anyway, I went to the door and there stood Brad Pitt holding my debit card!




And I said "howdy Mr. Bad Pritt...how'd you like your omelet?"

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#290682 - 12/21/04 11:45 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Anonymous
Unregistered

But...I couldnt' make the omelet because the eggs were rotten and the cheese was spoiled. Ugh - now what's he going to think of me?

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#290683 - 12/22/04 12:00 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
GuitarDude Offline
Power Poster
GuitarDude
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,924
So Cal
Since we were both still hungry, I offered to take Brad to McDonald's. I tried to order breakfast but it was past 10:30 so...
_________________________
I've just writed a wrong.

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#290684 - 12/22/04 12:47 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Anonymous
Unregistered

I made the suggestion to skip breakfast and go see his new movie Ocean's 12. He liked that idea, but first he wanted to....

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#290685 - 12/22/04 09:01 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Citrus Offline
Diamond Poster
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,139
....knock me in the head for suggesting such a thing! He's was done talkin' 12 (that's how he referred to the movie) and was already working on his next project. It was time for him to leave. I was kinda lonely so I decided to head over to West Virginia to visit Martha Stewart.

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#290686 - 12/22/04 01:30 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
DeeQ Offline
10K Club
DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,765
Turnpike Exit 10
When I got to the "joint", I found Martha teaching her fellow inmates how to make a gingerbread house. She said that the next class would be "Floral Arrangements".
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#290687 - 12/22/04 03:15 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Cat Woman Offline
Diamond Poster
Cat Woman
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,342
New England
I stuck around and made a fabulous gingerbread house. It even lights up! As I was leaving the clink, an insane inmate ran up to me. She snatched my beautiful house from my hands and began to eat it!

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#290688 - 12/22/04 09:32 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
GuitarDude Offline
Power Poster
GuitarDude
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,924
So Cal
Feeling frustrated and still hungry, I went to the prison chef and asked her if she would make me a Lemony Snicket. After pointing out that Lemony Snicket was a movie and not a dessert, she...
_________________________
I've just writed a wrong.

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#290689 - 12/22/04 10:19 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Cat Woman Offline
Diamond Poster
Cat Woman
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,342
New England
slapped me across the face. She told me to get out of her sight, or else I'd be arrested and share a cell with Martha!

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#290690 - 12/23/04 12:37 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Anonymous
Unregistered

After being threatened with sharing a cell with Martha, I realized I had enough of the "big house" experience and decided to go to....

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#290691 - 12/23/04 12:40 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Blade Scrapper Offline
Power Poster
Blade Scrapper
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,912
Outside A Garage
my Mom's basement to look for an old fruitcake. After all, why go to the trouble of making a gingerbread house when you can just...
_________________________
...you guys, I'm going home

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#290692 - 12/23/04 02:27 AM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Citrus Offline
Diamond Poster
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,139
...eat a lead fruitcake! So I rummaged through a bunch o' attic crud and came across the fruitcake. As I tried to cut it, it crumbled apart and out popped a file! I then remembered it had been baked for my half-baked cousin who was in the state pen. Then, when I looked closer at the file, I saw that it had an inscription that read...

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#290693 - 12/23/04 03:26 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
GuitarDude Offline
Power Poster
GuitarDude
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,924
So Cal
Property of Bob Vila. I then decided to put the file on ebay and cash in on this collectible. The auction started and people began to bid, but before the auction ended...
_________________________
I've just writed a wrong.

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#290694 - 12/23/04 08:03 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Blade Scrapper Offline
Power Poster
Blade Scrapper
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,912
Outside A Garage
I was visted by goons employed by Martha Stewart. They took the file but gave me a phone number for......
_________________________
...you guys, I'm going home

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#290695 - 12/23/04 08:07 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Anonymous
Unregistered

Tim the Toolman

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#290696 - 12/23/04 08:19 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
HRH Okie Banker Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,070
Oklahoma
Well I called Tim the Toolman Taylor and the number wasn't his! It belonged to ...
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Just working here until I get my letter from Hogwarts.

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#290697 - 12/23/04 08:20 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Cat Woman Offline
Diamond Poster
Cat Woman
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,342
New England
I gave him a buzz. He told me that I couldn't put Bob Villa's file on ebay. He said the file was given to him by Bob. I decided to...

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#290698 - 12/23/04 08:22 PM Re: Paragraph Association Thread
Viking Princess Offline
Platinum Poster
Viking Princess
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 952
Stockton, California
Pizza Hut? What? well, at least I'm still hungry. So I called pizza hut, the employee who answered the phone asked me to hold - while I sat on hold for......
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"For with God NOTHING shall be impossible."

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