An old farmer in Oklahoma had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice, picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said,

"I'm here to feed the alligator."

Those girls are in quite the predicament..., or is it just a dirty old man? too many ways to look at it. Nonetheless, very funny.

I don't get it. Here in Louisiana we have to swim with alligators.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY AT WORK -

When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap her"...You need to pray at work.

When someone comes in and announces, "office meeting in 5 minutes," and you think, "what the heck do they want now?"..... You need to pray at work.

When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, "which one of you boneheads turned off my computer?" ..... You need to pray at work.

When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a third person comes in and says, "well at my last office...", and you want to throw a stapler at him...
You need to pray at work.

When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first thing that crosses your mind is, "what the heck does this fool want now?" and you try to hide underneath your desk........ You need to pray at work.

When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "both of y'all can kiss my behind!!"... You need to pray at work.

When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up someone who stood for five minutes waiting for the darn thing only to go DOWN one floor, and you say "that lazy jerk"..... You need to pray at work.

When you take some vacation time and come back to find a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else would do it and you think, "This place BITES....... You need to pray at work.

If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking, punching, slapping, or flattening someone's tires that you work with..... You need to pray at work.

If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing to someone because you know it's going to lead to their life story .... You need to pray at work.

LET US ALL BOW OUR HEADS

We sure need to pray at work!!

That is so funny. Now I will go pray...

Yikes! I've been in several of those situations.

Or when your telephone isn't working--you find out your dialing phone numbers on your calculator.

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message,the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,

"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:

"ME."

Andy, that was great!!!