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#324935 - 03/02/05 08:10 PM Why women are so crabby
MelissaAnn Offline
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MelissaAnn
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 537
Washington State
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra
contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed
cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little
cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned
to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the
mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OBsays, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their teen years. Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in
>July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
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#324936 - 03/02/05 08:17 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
OkieOps Offline
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OkieOps
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 752
OK
So true! Thanks for the laugh!

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#324937 - 03/02/05 08:23 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Anonymous
Unregistered

Why men are so crabby? .... wouldn't you be if you had to co-exist with a member of the female persuasion who had to live with everything listed above?

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#324938 - 03/02/05 08:38 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
MelissaAnn Offline
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MelissaAnn
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 537
Washington State
Dave, I agree. I would hate to live with me!
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#324939 - 03/02/05 08:50 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Pale Rider Offline
10K Club
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 34,318
under the Lone Star
Do you know my wife, how do you know so much about our family life ? We are in a mid-50's now, so the worst is behind us. And we get to spoil the grandkids and send them home when we need quiet time. This might be a tad bid more than someone in their young adult years wants to know though. Oh well, we can blame it on Eve, or Adam if you prefer.
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#324940 - 03/02/05 09:11 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Cathy P Offline
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Cathy P
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 318
NE
That was hilarious! I'm pregnant with #2 and have experienced most all those things pre-sexual prime & menopause. I will say that an epidural is a god-send.

Thanks for the laugh MelissaAnn.
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#324941 - 03/02/05 09:57 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
slick Offline
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slick
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,030
somewhere out there
Amen!!!!!

This is all so true........but kind of sad!
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#324942 - 03/02/05 10:00 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
blvsinangels Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 372
Ok how about an addition:

How many of us out there work the 6 to 11 jobs? Up at 6 to get ready for work, get the kids up, fix breakfast, dump dirty dishes in sink and throw a little water on them. Start the wash and make a dash for the car. Report to work at 8, work until 5, lunch...whats lunch???? Pick the kids up and home at 7. Cook supper after washing the breakfast dishes. Clean up, get kids ready for bed, WHAT you didn't finish your homework??? Bed time at 10 rather than 9...Take a shower.....AHHHHH me time....zzzzzzzzzzz

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#324943 - 03/02/05 10:07 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Anonymous
Unregistered

I would guess that there are many people who have an even more hectic schedule: up at 4:30 AM, run, workout, long commute, never home before 7:00 PM, lucky to be in bed by 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM. Chronic sleep deprivation.

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#324944 - 03/02/05 10:08 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Anonymous
Unregistered

Let's not totally forget the husbands/fathers who currently: get up at 4 or 5, feed and change infants (sometimes twice), wrangle the 10 year old out of bed, feed the dog and let out and hope he'll come back in, wake the Mrs, take a shower, go to work, come home for lunch and feed kids, go back to work, come home, feed kids, help with laundry/dishes/bottles/homework and try to sleep by 11 to start it all over again.

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#324945 - 03/02/05 10:08 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Greg Offline
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 833
Michigan
Reason?? . . . they need a reason?
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#324946 - 03/02/05 10:09 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
blvsinangels Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 372
True, I guess if I were a truly motivated person I could get up at 4:30 and work out for an hour!!! Although I am very very lucky that I only have a 15 minute drive to work!

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#324947 - 03/02/05 10:10 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
blvsinangels Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 372
Ok Ok, I guess men deserve to be crabby at times too!!

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#324948 - 03/02/05 10:12 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
corkygirl Offline
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 4,241
middle of the country
Maybe, but do those people have to take care of little people when they do get home, make lunches for the next day, make sure that there are clean clothes for those little ones to wear to school the next day, help with the homework and still try to get to bed by 10:30???

I am past most of the "blessing" on that list, the chemo for the breast cancer took care of the menopause but I'm sure my hubbie would tell you that somedays I'm hard to live with!! (But then so is he )
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#324949 - 03/02/05 10:38 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Anonymous
Unregistered

Gee...what is the problem...just sounds like woman's work to me.

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#324950 - 03/02/05 10:54 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Anonymous
Unregistered

Isn't it politically incorrect to say that women are "crabby", not to mention that it's not necessarily true anyway. The president of Harvard University said that women overall do not perform as well as men in math and science careers, and look what's happening to him. Whether it's true or not, he'll wish he never made that statement.

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#324951 - 03/03/05 02:44 AM Re: Why women are so crabby
Princess Leia Offline
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,975
Alderaan
Quote:

Let's not totally forget the husbands/fathers who currently: get up at 4 or 5, feed and change infants (sometimes twice), wrangle the 10 year old out of bed, feed the dog and let out and hope he'll come back in, wake the Mrs, take a shower, go to work, come home for lunch and feed kids, go back to work, come home, feed kids, help with laundry/dishes/bottles/homework and try to sleep by 11 to start it all over again.




Who's that???

just kidding - don't throw a bottle of formula at me
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#324952 - 03/03/05 02:06 PM Re: Why women are so crabby
Sinatra Fan Offline
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Sinatra Fan
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,568
New Jersey
Y'all are making me glad I'm single. Hey, I might actually be smarter than I realize.
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