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#325828 - 05/10/05 07:18 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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That's funny. We're just slow in Idaho, and yes, you can take that any way that you'd like. I hear that it is fun, I havent tried it though. I'm not to that point---yet. I know that I'm going to meet a nice guy when I'm taking my cat out on her leash for a walk. It's a nice conversation starter. Ha, ha, ha.
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I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325829 - 05/10/05 11:24 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Power Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,045
Pedaling along a scenic highwa...
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Quote:
The problem I've had with the internet is the that the cop and I clicked online, but when we were face to face, it went not so well. I'm internet shy. I'm always afraid that the person I'm talking to is 4'11 555lbs pretending to be a guy that looks like David James Elliot---by the way thats what I tell people that are creepy, I'm 4'11 555lbs joined the Army to lose weight. 
Very Nice, Ang. That's what you told me! 
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#325830 - 05/10/05 11:43 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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Fraud, you're not like the rest of the guys though.
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325832 - 05/11/05 01:45 AM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,353
Anchorage Alaska
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SB, the answer was B. I'd like to smack her for you, but you're too dignified for that  If I wasn't busy remodeling my sweetie's and my home I'd probably try speed dating, just for the giggles. I'd sort of want to be totally single too but at this point, painting and planting are my life
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Dawn Coursey VP/CRA Queen
CRA Rating is in...Oh who cares...I'm home with the baby.
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#325834 - 05/11/05 02:59 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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Oh my. Thank you KC. See, now I'm really not going to try something like that. Although I'm holding out for SB and Fraud. I'll limit my online dating to those two, ha, ha, ha.
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325835 - 05/11/05 03:53 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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I'm looking for opionions. My boyfriend of 4 months has an ex that he broke up with about 10 years ago after a 5 year relationship. She was living out of state with a boyfriend up until several weeks ago when she broke up with the boyfriend and moved back. During all of this time they have kept in contact, mostly through email.
This morning he called me and told me he is thinking of calling her to go out to dinner tonight to "catch up". (I have a late meeting at the bank tonight.) I told him I was not completely comfortable with that idea. He made light of my comment and said it was no big deal. Since we hung up the phone I have been getting angrier and angrier that he would disrepect my feelings so easily. If the situation were reversed I would respect his concerns and not make plans with the ex. Any thoughts?
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#325837 - 05/11/05 04:31 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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Anon, I agree with you. On the other hand, one way to drive a boyfriend away from you is to be a jealous girlfriend--that's not good. I would let him go, again tell him that you dont like it, but it's his choice. I'll fly on over and we'll have a girls night, m'kay?
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325838 - 05/11/05 04:44 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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That's exactly what I was thinking - the quickest way to turn a guy off is to be a jealous p.i.t.a.
Girls night sounds great!
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#325839 - 05/11/05 04:54 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 606
New England
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Quote:
Any thoughts?
In order to be remotely constructive, I have to assume a lot of things regarding your relationship with your boyfriend, as you have not given us many details.
For purposes of this post, I'm assuming that your boyfriend has been up front and honest with you regarding his communiques with his ex-girlfriend. In addition, I'm also assuming that you are both happy in your relationship and that he has not given you any reason to believe that he has been unfaithful.
The central issue of your anger revolves around trust. I'm going to flat out ask you: do you trust your boyfriend? Before you answer, think about the question carefully. I might completely wrong here, but if you trust him 100%, I don't think you have any reason to be upset.
I'll also pose this question: if she wasn't his ex-girlfriend, would you still be upset over him going out as friends with another woman? If not, then why does it make a difference that she is his ex-girlfriend? If so, there seems to be some trust issues lurking beneath the surface of the problem that need to be addressed.
I don't mean to judge you by any means, nor do I mean to be inflammatory; however, I think you need to take a step back and figure out exactly why you are getting upset over the issue.
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Respect It.
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#325840 - 05/11/05 04:59 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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OOOOHHH, that was good Mark. Way better than what I had. I was just going to say that all guys are a P.I.T.A. but now I feel bad.
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325841 - 05/11/05 05:13 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,896
R.I.P. Chief Illiniwek
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If he dated this girl 10 years ago, I would bet they are just friends and enjoy catching up with each other. I only have one ex that I occasionally talk to. She's just a friend, I would never do anything to blur that line, it's just that I spent a lot of time with her in the past (2 1/2 years while in college) so it's fun to catch up sometimes and so how we are doing now.
I would agree to let him go. Just say something cute when he goes to let him know that you are ok with it, but you can't help a little ping of jealousy. ( I think a little jealousy is always good, but it should never get out of hand)
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We're doing oil changes. Oil changes for EVERYONE!!
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#325842 - 05/11/05 05:21 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Thanks Mark. A little background - the relationship is very good. I want to say that I 100% trust him, but I guess I can't say it. Maybe 90%. The thing is I met him online, so prior to 4 months ago I knew absolutely nothing of him. He has given me absolutely no reason not to trust him, but I guess when you don't know someone's history its a little harder to give them all of your trust.
He does have several female friends that he sees and it does not bother me at all. My concern with this situation is that she is his ex, she has recently broken up with her boyfriend, and she is depressed. Who knows if she is looking for something?
I appreciate your response. Thanks for making me think!
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#325843 - 05/11/05 05:37 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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There is a reason why she's an ex, and some people are smart enough to realize this. No worries Anon, go out with a friend of yours tonight to take your mind off of it.
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325844 - 05/11/05 05:39 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,353
Anchorage Alaska
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Hey Anon, I'd re think the relationship if he goes after you've told him it makes him uncomfortable. AFterall, if it's "no big deal" he could invite you as well couldn't he?
My sweetie of five years has ex's. I trust him 100%, but I also love that he would never put me in a position to feel uncomfortable by going out with an ex. It's about respect, and appearances. If he does not appreciate that, than I'd not want to be a part of that relationship.
_________________________
Dawn Coursey VP/CRA Queen
CRA Rating is in...Oh who cares...I'm home with the baby.
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#325845 - 05/11/05 06:53 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 606
New England
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Quote:
My concern with this situation is that she is his ex, she has recently broken up with her boyfriend, and she is depressed. Who knows if she is looking for something?
For the record, I think it's okay that you are being cautious with your feelings. I think it's only natural that you feel the way you do and, while this is a vapid generalization, we've all been hurt before. If I were in your situation, I'm sure I would have some bad feelings about it.
There's always a but, so here it is.
I think you're being unfair to your boyfriend in this instance, as, he has given you no reason not to trust him. I understand that you want to protect your relationship and that you are suspicious of HER intentions; however, I don't think that gives you the right to hold him emotionally hostage. After all, if he really wants to cheat on you, he's going to do it anyway. There is no amount of guilt tripping or seperation games you can play to prevent that. In addition, attempting to control him in this manner will only make him resentful.
I do think you have the right to tell him exactly what you are feeling. If you have a bad feeling about the situation, by all means tell him! This is the key though: OWN YOUR FEELINGS. This is not about what the situation is, this is about how you are reacting to it.
Religion is built on faith, relationships are built on trust. You simply have to trust him. This situation is only going to make your relationship stronger or weaker. In my opinion, it's always better to be able to communicate openly regarding the status of your relationship, as there will be no surprises.
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Respect It.
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#325846 - 05/12/05 05:29 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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Mark, you're so wise, I'm coming to you with all my guy problems.
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325848 - 05/12/05 06:09 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,227
Bear Country
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Are you saying that pictures are fake then and that Dawnie's not really a cat? Here I am thinking that there's some little cat pounding away at the keyboard with its paws...
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If you're not first, you're last.
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#325850 - 05/12/05 06:24 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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Heck yes this is, afterall, the dating section of BOL. WOO HOO. I'm 4'11 555lbs and I joined the Army to lose weight.
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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#325852 - 05/12/05 06:31 PM
Re: Dating Troubles
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,655
Boise, ID
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LOL, I had a picture of a really cool black hawk that JLJ sent me but they couldnt make it smaller because it was animated. I'm bummed so I'm stuck until I find another cool one.
_________________________
I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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