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#334314 - 03/16/05 03:16 PM Things mom taught me!
D2Xs Offline
Power Poster
D2Xs
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,706
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

cleaning."



2.My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

next week!"



4.My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."



5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to

the store with me."



6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."



7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."



8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."



9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"



10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."



11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."



12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"



13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."



14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"



15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't

have wonderful parents like you do."



16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."



17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"



18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."



19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on. Don't you think I know when you are cold?"



20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."



21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."



22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."



23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"



24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."



25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
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Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

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#334315 - 03/16/05 03:29 PM Re: Things mom taught me!
Princess of Power Offline
Gold Star
Princess of Power
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 406
Napa, CA
These were all things that my mom {probably most of yours too}said to us when we were growing up and never really thought about at the time. You made me think of her today with humor and laughter, I know she would have loved seeing this. Thanks for the memories.

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#334316 - 03/16/05 04:10 PM Re: Things mom taught me!
Retired DQ Offline
10K Club
Retired DQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
Great!!!
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#334317 - 03/16/05 04:17 PM Re: Things mom taught me!
Anonymous
Unregistered

Did my mom write these????

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#334318 - 03/16/05 04:23 PM Re: Things mom taught me!
OkieOps Offline
Platinum Poster
OkieOps
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 752
OK
Quote:

Did my mom write these????



No, my mom did!

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#334319 - 03/16/05 04:26 PM Re: Things mom taught me!
Packerette Offline
Member
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 81
New Mexico
I knew someone was gonna say that!!! LMAO

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#334320 - 03/16/05 11:07 PM Re: Things mom taught me!
Princess Leia Offline
Diamond Poster
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,975
Alderaan
My mom's favorite was "Because I'm the Mommy . . . That's why!"
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Duct tape is like the force: It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

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#334321 - 03/17/05 12:34 AM Re: Things mom taught me!
CRAatBOK Offline

Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,172
Further South than I wanna be.
My mother taught me about wanting things

People in He** want ice water, and they aren't going to get it either.
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Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

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