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#336749 - 03/22/05 01:04 PM Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Princess Leia Offline
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Alderaan
As a parent, I can only imagine the grief that is being felt in Red Lake - I have a pit in my stomach. This is something that happened "somewhere else" - but now we've had 2 deadly shootings in just a couple years - both in smaller, rural schools. It's a difficult thing to explain these events to a 9 year old when he asks, "Mom, am I safe at school?" So many questions without answers. You may have seen this on the national news last night - I caught a live interview at the top of the CBS Evening News last night.

Please pray for all of those involved.
Red Lake Shooting
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#336750 - 03/22/05 01:20 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Retired DQ Offline
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It is very scary, and the fact that there were metal detectors and security guards make it even scarier.

The boy apparently had a father with mental illness, and the fact that his mother was in a nursing home (due to a car accident), I am sure contributed to his instability.

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#336751 - 03/22/05 01:43 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
Quote:

security guards



Report on the news this morning said that the security guards at teh school were unarmed. What good is a security guard with no security?
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#336752 - 03/22/05 02:17 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Beagles22 Offline
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It was on the local news this morning here, horrible story. How sad and scary for everyone. My mother works at a middle school in northern Wisconsin and they do have armed guards at the school. She's had a gun pulled on her twice being the principal's secretary. Who would ever have thought that the school would be a scary place to work. Makes me re-think home schooling.
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#336753 - 03/22/05 02:35 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Jokerman Offline
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Where are children in this country getting the idea that lives have no value?

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#336754 - 03/22/05 02:38 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Retired DQ Offline
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Quote:

Where are children in this country getting the idea that lives have no value?




I don't think it was just a disregard for human life, JM, the guy is obviously disturbed to go on a random shooting spree.
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#336755 - 03/22/05 02:41 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Jokerman Offline
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Quote:

...the guy is obviously disturbed to go on a random shooting spree.




Yes, and our culture is obviously irrelevant. ???

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#336756 - 03/22/05 03:23 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Bengals Fan Offline
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Quote:

Quote:

Where are children in this country getting the idea that lives have no value?




I don't think it was just a disregard for human life, JM, the guy is obviously disturbed to go on a random shooting spree.




Someone who doesn't have a disregard for human life doesn't go on a random shooting spree. Issues like the Terri Schaivo case, violent video games and movies, etc. are in large part of the cause of such tragedies.

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#336757 - 03/22/05 04:03 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
RR Sarah Online
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Let me see, this kid's father committed suicide four years ago which would have made the kid about 10 at the time. Suicide is hard enough for an adult to comprehend. How do you explain that to a child? How do they come to terms with that? He lost the connection to his mother when she was in a car accident and was being raised by his grandparents. The kid was teased and picked on at school and we don't know the conditions of his home life. To me, it's not so much a disregard for the lives of others as it was a disregard for his own life. I know I'm going to take a lot of heat for this but there is a country song out there now about a high school kid who commits suicide. I am paraphrasing now but a couple of lines..."how do you get that lonely? How do you get that sad? And nobody knows?"...
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#336758 - 03/22/05 04:33 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Anonymous
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To add to SarahH's post, he was being raised by his grandfather and his wife, she was not his bio grandmother.
This is a true tragedy for all those killed and hurt, but I also think this kids life was probably very tragic.

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#336759 - 03/22/05 04:48 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Anonymous
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It is truely sad what has happened here in MN. Unfortuneatly, this world is becoming more lax everyday. Children are exposed to things you and I were never exposed to. I just got done emailing the Principal at my sons elementary school letting her know that Green Days American Idiot is not suitable material for my sons 3rd grade gym class. The scary thing about this is that most of his friends own the cd. The gym teacher wasn't even aware of the censored bleeps throughout the song. This album is filled with violence and very explicit langauge and messages. If there are parents out there who think that that is appropriate material for a 9 year old, I guess there is not much I can do about it. I urge all Parents, Educators, and anyone else involved in the lives of our children....KNOW & CARE...know what is playing on your childs cd-player, KNOW what they are watching on TV....KNOW what they are being exposed to and talk with your kids. Our children are faced with so much that we couldn't have even comprehended at that age. I pray for the families and friends and the entire Bemidji/Red Lake area. I pray that parents will begin to take an active role in helping their children make good choices, whether it is the music they listen to, the clothes they wear, or the people they hang out with.

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#336760 - 03/22/05 04:50 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
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Quote:

To add to SarahH's post, he was being raised by his grandfather and his wife, she was not his bio grandmother.
This is a true tragedy for all those killed and hurt, but I also think this kids life was probably very tragic.




EVERY TEENAGERS life is tragic! We all feel insecure and undesirable and oppressed as teen agers. That's the way human beings are.

Exposing them to glorified violence and a lack of respect for human life and dignity allows them to act like this without considering what they do to be horrible. After all, I'm sure a book or movie will be written about this, confirming the kid's belief that his actions were glorious.

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#336761 - 03/22/05 04:59 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Snowqueen Offline
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EVERY TEENAGERS life is tragic! We all feel insecure and undesirable and oppressed as teen agers. That's the way human beings are.

Exposing them to glorified violence and a lack of respect for human life and dignity allows them to act like this without considering what they do to be horrible. After all, I'm sure a book or movie will be written about this, confirming the kid's belief that his actions were glorious.




Geez Michael, not sure where you get all your information but not EVERY TEENAGERS life is tragic!!! We all haven't felt insecure, undesirable or oppressed as a teenager.

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#336762 - 03/22/05 05:26 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Raiderette Offline
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Michael, you don't seem to have an open mind to a lot of peoples opinions. It's nice to see that you have your own, but you seem to be very defensive. I had great teenage years. I wouldn't change any of it. I also believe in the death penalty if it fits the crime.
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#336763 - 03/22/05 05:49 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Bones Offline
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This is a very sad story. I was watching the Today show this morning and they interviewed the brother of a boy that was injured in the rampage, and he was shocked and just could not believe something like that could happen in their community. Unfortunately, it can happen anywhere.
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#336764 - 03/22/05 06:33 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
deppfan Offline
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Quote:

It is truely sad what has happened here in MN. Unfortuneatly, this world is becoming more lax everyday. Children are exposed to things you and I were never exposed to.




I couldn't agree more. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to help one of Tessa's friends. He has been her best friend for 4 years. His parents split up, mom moved out with his 2 younger sisters and told him she didn't have the space or the $$$ to take him. His dad told him to hit the road last week, and he has been staying w/friends, or sleeping in cars! What the hell is wrong with parents these days? He isn't a problem kid. I know he smokes, but he doesn't get into trouble. He wants to drop out of school and get a job. He doesn't see any other options, and he feels that he is taking advantage of us (and others) when we feed him, or house him for the night. I love this kid (he calls me his White Mother, and says he is my brown son...He's a Cherokee Indian). My husband and I let him bunk on the downstairs couch when needed. He comes around during dinner time alot and Larry always cooks extra so he can eat. I am just so disgusted w/his parents....I can't imagine. That is just one of many in this area who will fall through the proverbial cracks if someone doesn't step in and help them. Sorry, for the RANT, but I can't imagine being 15 years old and not having either one of my parents want me.

Okay, back to the HS shooting...sorry for the highjack...it just seemed relevant. I pray for all involved in MN, and all touched by this tragedy, wherever they might reside.
Last edited by deppfan; 03/22/05 06:41 PM.
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#336765 - 03/22/05 06:39 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Anonymous
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Wait a second. Shouldn't Social Services be informed of this situation? Don't the parents have a legal obligation to provide for him until he's 16 or 18 years old? If not, can't you legally foster him and get $$ from the state for doing it? No child should have to support himself at 15!

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#336766 - 03/22/05 06:43 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
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He is 3 months away from turning 16, and does not want DHS involved. He loves his little sisters and doesn't want them affected. They (at least) are being provided for.
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#336767 - 03/22/05 06:58 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Anonymous
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Don't want to hijack but must say in my state a parent is responsible until the kid is 18. I understand hhis concern for his sisters, but someone needs to help him as well. I'm sure the state will step in.

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#336768 - 03/22/05 07:08 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
deppfan Offline
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Possibly. (I think the age here is 16. I know that a child can drop out of school here at 16, regardless of parental wishes. This is NOT what I want for him though.) I guess it depends on how long this goes on, and what happens with the girls. We are trying to cover him right now. I just don't want him roaming the streets or sleeping in cars, and I can't stand the thought of a kid going hungry. So far we have been able to squeak by financially to help him. We don't have a pile of money (not even a little one. ), but we feel that we can cut back on other things, and help get him through.
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#336769 - 03/22/05 07:14 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
RR Sarah Online
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deppfan, I thank God for people like you and your husband.
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#336770 - 03/22/05 07:16 PM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
deppfan Offline
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I think that almost every one of the people who comprise the BOL Family would do the same thing.

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#336771 - 03/23/05 02:09 AM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
Kathleen O. Blanchard Offline

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Things like this have occurred in families all along. We are more aware of it these days. I knew kids whose parents threw them out when it became inconvenient for the parents to have the kids around. I will never understand that attitude.

I also will say that when my daughter was in jr.high/early high school she was having problems in school. She is a quiet very very sensitive young lady and never was a trouble maker but had a hard time dealing with many of the more riotous students and some of the teachers who were less then dedicated to their careers. She is very bright but had a brief period with bad grades. The schools solution was to drop her down a few levels. She started the new year and they had a very high IQ student (her) taking a math course on balancing a check book. I had been in constant communication with the principals office and the guidance counselors. I flipped even though she professed to hate it when I 'interfered'. I took her to a private doctor for an IQ and evaluation (and some counseling). The doctor wrote a scathing letter to the school. I took the letter in to the guidance office (it contained her IQ, grade level assessment,etc.) and demanded to be seen. The head of guidance said he was glad I had done this because she would have slipped through the cracks because she wasn't a trouble maker!!!!!!!!! I told him if they worked in private industry they would be fired!

They immediately changed her course work and went and pulled her out of the class she was in.

Point of this rant, when she was in college, Columbine occurred. She called me at work in NYC and said she wanted to tell me she loved me and I was a good mother and she was glad I had "interfered" or she probably would have been in her room making bombs. I cried a lot that day.

But think of the kids who have no advocate. It is scary. Just make sure you are there fighting for your kids. They need you. Teenagers, even those who play it cool, are very sensitive and vulnerable. Their emotions are close to the surface and are exacerbated by hormones. When they feel lost, they feel really really lost. (I believe that is what Michael meant.) And that is why I say watch your kids and speak up for them.
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#336772 - 03/23/05 02:51 AM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
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Back to the highjacking part of this thread:

deppfan, please don't discount DHS on his say so. He is just a kid and probably thinks the horror stories are the whole story.

His sisters may seem to be ok now, but what happens in a year or two when the mother can't afford them too? If the parents can't take responsibility for all their children then someone who can should.

If nothing else, call around anonymously and find a lawyer who specializes in children...you can find one by asking for a lawyer who serves as guardian ad litum. If they can't help you they should be able to tell you who can.

Good luck and God bless you for sharing your heart and your home with this child.

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#336773 - 03/23/05 03:32 AM Re: Deadly HS Shooting in Minnesota
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Minnesota is just a little too close to home for my taste. Back in my day, kids were picked on all the time. Usually, it ended with a bloody lip and maybe a loose tooth or two. Kids these days are surrounded with a different mentality, different social environment, different home lives.......not saying that they're justified in the violent acts they sometimes commit, but I AM saying that BEFORE they commit them, we have a much greater need to step in and recognize some warning signs. Don't be afraid of upsetting or disappointing your kids. "Parents, the Anti-Drug" is a wonderful slogan, but it works for more than drugs.

Elena, you truly are an ANGEL.

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