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#351629 - 04/26/05 08:12 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Anonymous
Unregistered

I have no tolerance for bratty kids. I think they reflect badly on their parents and show an apparent lack of discipline in the home. If a five year old kid is allowed to do what she was doing (and it was NOT the first time), the behavior is only going to get worse instead of better. I pity the poor teachers who have to put up with thi type of activity.

What the police did was use a very, very mild form of restraint. How else could they have dealt with it? Talking to this child wasn't working, and they couldn't tranquilize her. Put her in a padded room?

Our society is out of control. When parents start suing because their children act up and there were consequences for the action, it just reinforces the bad behavior. It's like the parent saying "Go, girl."

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#351630 - 04/26/05 08:13 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
jason Offline
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 234
Almost Heaven
how do you know they hadnt called her in times past. a child normally doesnt act like this just once. and what is sueing going to teach this child - i do something wrong, SUE! what a great lesson . im not saying handcuffing this child was the best way to handle this, but i bet she would learn that there are reprocussions for her actions. now shes just going to learn to sue.

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#351631 - 04/26/05 08:13 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Raiderette Offline
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New Mexico
at least???
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#351632 - 04/26/05 08:15 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Clown Boy Offline
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here and there
I'm just wondering why it took three cops and a pair of handcuffs to detain one little five year old girl. Come on, there is no excuse for that.
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#351633 - 04/26/05 08:19 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Raiderette Offline
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New Mexico
Ok, this little girl seems to be a lot like mine. How do you know the girl didn't have other problems. My daughter goes to therapy because she is like this... she has issues with a certain type of personality that most people have. I'm not a bad mom, and it isn't that I'm a bad example, this is how she is. Handcuffing her for acting the way this little girl did, is NOT excusable.
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#351634 - 04/26/05 08:20 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Deacon G Offline
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 106
East
First, no matter what, this little girl will be scarred for the rest of her life. Second, we had few disorderly students as well and the two reasons Fraudman discusses can be expanded to say, 'paddled in school' then 'almost killed at home'. Of course I exaggerate with the words but I would suggest that the readers know what I am saying. The lack of discipline begins in the home and IMO, the lawsuits began with parents that, quite frankly, were too lazy to do their jobs.

Third, we cannot and should not rely on teachers to discipline our children. However, teachers need to be able to exercise some discipline in conjunction with the parents. Corporal punishment is not always the best option, however, it should be an option and if handled properly, can be very effective. We would obviously need teachers with a lot better judgment than this one showed.

Fourth, this out of control behavior I think began with our generation. A friend on mine once told me that she would never discipline her child the same way her parents disciplined her. Needless to say, her child acts like the little girl in question here.

Finally, everyone dropped the ball on this one. The parents because this little girl gleened from somewhere that this behavior was ok. The teachers for calling the police rather than the parents and, the police for treating this child as they did. If you want to talk about lawsuits, this one is for the ages (pun intended).

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#351635 - 04/26/05 08:25 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Raiderette Offline
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New Mexico
I disagree with the parents. not ALL parents are to blame, some yes. I discipline my children, and I still have one that acts like this.
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#351636 - 04/26/05 08:36 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
dalejrfanatic Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 280
WI
I too discipline my children, but there is only so much you can do to discipline your children without YOU YOURSELF getting arrested or whatever. You are talking about a 5 year old girl who is just learning a lot of the rights and wrongs in the world. YES she wasn't tasered which i would have thrown one BIG stink if that was to have happened. This girl is always going to be afraid of the police now because she did one bad thing. Yes, I believe the mother was called and what if she said she couldn't have been there for an hour? I live 45 minutes from my childs school. It would have taken me that long to get there. Still this is No excuse for calling the police if I was on my way there.

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#351637 - 04/26/05 08:39 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Viking Princess Offline
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Posts: 952
Stockton, California
Quote:

I heard about this and I think it is ridiculous. I would not want my 5 year old handcuffed for acting up. How bad are you going to get hurt by a 5 year old?? Come on. Crazy!!




While I don't agree with the situation as far as handcuffing - I do believe that a 5 year old is capable of harming someone. What about those first graders? or kindergarteners who harmed others?

If I was a parent I would have expected to by called FIRST prior to any type of disciplinary action outside of "time-out" or something of that nature. If someone laid a hand on my child there would be heck to pay.
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#351638 - 04/26/05 08:40 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Raiderette Offline
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thank you dalejrfanatic!!!
On another personal note, my daughter had a test done on her brain. Keep in mind, she is 4 almost 5. She has a lot of anxiety, hence one of the reasons she misbehaves so frequently... Get this girl some help and maybe she can manage her anger differntly.
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#351639 - 04/26/05 08:46 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
dalejrfanatic Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 280
WI
Quote:

thank you dalejrfanatic!!!
On another personal note, my daughter had a test done on her brain. Keep in mind, she is 4 almost 5. She has a lot of anxiety, hence one of the reasons she misbehaves so frequently... Get this girl some help and maybe she can manage her anger differntly.




Your welcome. I agree with your statement also and the answer to this type of problem from any kind of teacher nowadays is RITALIN!!! Put your kid on meds so I can deal with them better at school and do my job. People just do not realize that it is not that easy to raise a child anymore in this day and age. They see this stuff on TV, hear about it on Radio or see it in the news. It is not the parents fault!! (Sorry, but I am so sick of hearing that it is our fault that kids are the way they are now)

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#351640 - 04/26/05 08:52 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
QCL Offline
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QCL
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,259
NW IL
Just playing devil's advocate here:

Perhaps 3 officers were used not to control the child but as a means of mitigating risk. A small child is involved, so why not have more officers to assist? Perhaps there is a departmental policy requiring the use of cuffs for any and all transports (perhaps not, but we don't know do we?). I have heard that one of the arresting officers wanted to follow the arrest all the way through, and I agree that that is wrong. Why did the school call the police? Do they have a no-tolerance policy?

But as I see it this kid didn't get her way, threw a fit, used violence as a means of getting attention, and is now on TV getting all sorts of "poor baby"s and it's the cops and school officials fault. So they cuffed her. So what. If the bear hit an adult out of anger (and remember her history here for emphasis) YOU BET she'd better be ready to take responsibility for her actions.

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#351641 - 04/26/05 08:53 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Raiderette Offline
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New Mexico
Meds aren't the answer. I agree on that. You may be treating the kid for something he/she doesn't have.
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#351642 - 04/26/05 08:53 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
QCL Offline
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NW IL
Quote:


People just do not realize that it is not that easy to raise a child anymore in this day and age.




No it's not, you are right about that.

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#351643 - 04/26/05 08:55 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Jokerman Offline
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Posts: 12,846
Quote:

They see this stuff on TV...




Where?

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#351644 - 04/26/05 08:55 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Snowqueen Offline
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dreaming of a warm beach......
If its not the parents fault - whose fault is it?

Our kids weren't perfect by any means but they were taught to respect teachers, grandparents, parents and adults in general. If the kids were disrespectful they were disciplined. Parents are the primary teachers of their children. Parents are also the authority figures for their children. A parent can be authoritive without being abusive and teach the child to be respectful. Yes, some kids are brats but if their behavior isn't dealt with at home and they aren't disciplined what is a teacher to do???

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#351645 - 04/26/05 08:56 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Raiderette Offline
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New Mexico
once again, SHE IS 5!!! 5 year olds don't always know how to manage their anger...
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#351646 - 04/26/05 08:58 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Jokerman Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,846
Quote:

SHE IS 5!!!! 3 officers, one child... More force, WHATEVER!!!




You would have preferred they sat on her?

The principal was in a no-win situation. If she restrains her or swats her, she's going to get sued. If she doesn't do anything and the kid hurts herself, she's going to get sued. So she calls the cops.

The cops are in a no-win situation. They have roughly the same options as above. The decide to restrain her in the most passive way possible. And, like I said, it was a no-win situation.

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#351647 - 04/26/05 09:00 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Bengals Fan Offline
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Posts: 8,990
Cincinnati, OH
Quote:

I disagree with the parents. not ALL parents are to blame, some yes. I discipline my children, and I still have one that acts like this.




The only person to blame for bad behavior are those that allow the behavior to continue. If you discipline your child and he/she doesn't respond by acting properly, you aren't getting results; consider other methods.

A paddling can be effective for one child, where it might not be for another. A time out in the corner can be effective for one child but not another. Believe it or not, a good friend of mine's daughter has a temper. The punishment that worked? Positive reinforcement. That's right, punishment didn't fix the problem, rewards for good behavior did.

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#351648 - 04/26/05 09:02 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Snowqueen Offline
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,289
dreaming of a warm beach......
Quote:

Quote:


People just do not realize that it is not that easy to raise a child anymore in this day and age.




No it's not, you are right about that.




My parents said the same thing 30 years ago when I was a kid. Wonder if their parents said the same thing....

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#351649 - 04/26/05 09:04 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
dalejrfanatic Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 280
WI
Quote:

Quote:

They see this stuff on TV...




Where?




Like I said before the news, movies etc. etc. Tehy can see this stuff even on the internet. I know what my kids are watching when we are together and what they are doing on the internet. But I can not shield my kids from everything. Like when they go over to a friends house or looking up things on school computers. I do the best that I can do for my kids. If that isn't enough then I don't know what else I am supposed to go.

My kids are also raised to respect their teachers and adults in their life. Heck, I won't even let my kids go to Chuck E Cheese because they discriminate against the handicapped. Does that make me a bad parent??

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#351650 - 04/26/05 09:05 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Raiderette Offline
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Raiderette
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,316
New Mexico
I'm sure the cops being there scared her enough. I'm sure they wouldn't have needed to do anything further, especially since she had calmed down by the time they arrived.
Experimenting to see what kind of dicipline works, takes time.
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#351651 - 04/26/05 09:09 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
dalejrfanatic Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 280
WI
Quote:

Quote:

I disagree with the parents. not ALL parents are to blame, some yes. I discipline my children, and I still have one that acts like this.




The only person to blame for bad behavior are those that allow the behavior to continue. If you discipline your child and he/she doesn't respond by acting properly, you aren't getting results; consider other methods.

A paddling can be effective for one child, where it might not be for another. A time out in the corner can be effective for one child but not another. Believe it or not, a good friend of mine's daughter has a temper. The punishment that worked? Positive reinforcement. That's right, punishment didn't fix the problem, rewards for good behavior did.




I agree with the positive reinforcement. That is what I have been taught to do lately. Paddling? Yeah maybe. To some extent. You can only paddle a kid for so long until that doesn't work anymore and then move onto the next step in punishment that might work.

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#351652 - 04/26/05 09:11 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
Anonymous
Unregistered

We as a society have become lax with our children. I know that I will take abuse for this one, but think about it. We have 5, 6, and 7 year olds listening to music, watching tv, and playing video games that are rated M, and have parental warnings. I am not saying all parents, but by Gosh, from what I can see, a good majority. Why.....because as a society we are so busy that we don't take the time to do the right thing. If our child says, hey...all my friends have this CD or video, most parents say...ok...I'll get that for you without any thought given to the labels. Our society thinks that it is ok for our your children nowdays to(6, 7, 8, 9) to watch movies with the "f" word or b*&$^...why because they hear it at school. Hey...let em watch 2 1/2 men. It must be ok, it's a sitcom on in prime time.

See what I mean. My husband and I take the approach that it is not our primary purpose to be our childrens best friend. Our decisions are not always popular. We are constantly told by our youngsters ages 9 & 7 that they do not understand why they can't do this or that or watch this or that, CAUSE SO AND SO's PARENTS LET THEM DO IT. Too many parents in my opinion are trying to be their kids best friends and make the popular decisions, rather than being a parent and making the unpopular decision for the betterment of their children. My purpose as a parent is to help my children know right from wrong....help them build their self confidence, therefore helping them to become leaders instead of followers. They need to understand that at times, they will be faced with making the "popular" decision or the "right" decision.

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#351653 - 04/26/05 09:16 PM Re: 5 Year Old Handcuffed??????
dalejrfanatic Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 280
WI
Quote:

We as a society have become lax with our children. I know that I will take abuse for this one, but think about it. We have 5, 6, and 7 year olds listening to music, watching tv, and playing video games that are rated M, and have parental warnings. I am not saying all parents, but by Gosh, from what I can see, a good majority. Why.....because as a society we are so busy that we don't take the time to do the right thing. If our child says, hey...all my friends have this CD or video, most parents say...ok...I'll get that for you without any thought given to the labels. Our society thinks that it is ok for our your children nowdays to(6, 7, 8, 9) to watch movies with the "f" word or b*&$^...why because they hear it at school. Hey...let em watch 2 1/2 men. It must be ok, it's a sitcom on in prime time.

See what I mean. My husband and I take the approach that it is not our primary purpose to be our childrens best friend. Our decisions are not always popular. We are constantly told by our youngsters ages 9 & 7 that they do not understand why they can't do this or that or watch this or that, CAUSE SO AND SO's PARENTS LET THEM DO IT. Too many parents in my opinion are trying to be their kids best friends and make the popular decisions, rather than being a parent and making the unpopular decision for the betterment of their children. My purpose as a parent is to help my children know right from wrong....help them build their self confidence, therefore helping them to become leaders instead of followers. They need to understand that at times, they will be faced with making the "popular" decision or the "right" decision.




My excuse for this one is I am YOUR Mother and not SO AND SO's mother. I love you and care for your well being. If you don't like it tough. Me and my daughter go through this a lot. So all the kids are wearing shorts in 50 degree weather and sandels. YOU ARE NOT because I care about you and your health. You are going to school to learn, not for a fashion show or just to see your friends and think you are cool.

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