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#361852 - 05/25/05 04:36 PM Re: Non-athletic child
deppfan Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 5,184
All over the map.
Quote:

the coach just left along with all the other parents.




Or coach children!
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#361853 - 05/27/05 06:34 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

Just my opinions:
1. I hate sports jocks, or sports jock-wannabee's making their children perform in any sport they don't want to do.
2. When my boys wanted to try a sport, I supported them, and they had to finish the season if they found out they didn't like it. But they would never be forced to try something they truly didn't want to be involved in.
3. My oldest son has never been interested in sports (he's now 16, tall as me and slim built) but he does like cross-country running. No running around in circles on a track for him!
4. My younger son is not athletically inclined, but he likes to participate to be involved. He tried cross country last year & likes it. He tried track this year, and hated running circles on the track, but it didn't bother him that he came in last almost every race. He did his best and was "one of the guys."
5. Both boys like band, and to me that's organized sports, too!
6. Life is too short. Let them be kids.

Do I see value in organized sports? Yes, definitely. Is it the most important thing in a kids life? No way!

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#361854 - 05/27/05 07:40 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

If he doesn't want to, it's crazy to make him. He's miserable, you're miserable. He won't accel if he's not "into" the game. That can make him regress. Let him be his own self. I'm sure they participate in sports activities at school. Let him enjoy his childhood. Don't make it a miserable experience for him. Let him look back on happy times!

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#361855 - 05/27/05 07:44 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Retired DQ Offline
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
Quote:

If he doesn't want to, it's crazy to make him. He's miserable, you're miserable. He won't accel if he's not "into" the game. That can make him regress. Let him be his own self. I'm sure they participate in sports activities at school. Let him enjoy his childhood. Don't make it a miserable experience for him. Let him look back on happy times!




Yeah, but you are talking to the front end of the horse... it's the back-end who is being a weinie.
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#361856 - 06/01/05 06:56 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

Huh???

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#361857 - 06/16/05 05:22 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

She is talking about ther ex being the rear end of a horse. Sometimes there is no good answer when it comes to ex's. No matter what you decided to do he will think it is crap anyways, so just do what you and your son want.

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#361858 - 06/27/05 07:04 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

He doesn't watch hardly any TV at all, except early Sat. mornings and about 1 hr at night (with us, no cartoons). He doesn't play video games except very rarely. He just loves his legos, and playing with his Mindstorms set (by Lego). He likes to play games with his friends (pokemon, ugh, I know and yugio, ugh, I know) and he loves to read. He also plays with his other action toys with his friends.

His only real passion is Legos and he is awesome with them. I don't know of any other kid who built and programmed a lego robot by himself. I prefer he stay focused on something that he's good at to keep his self-esteem high (legitimately) and not just get an idiotic trophy from playing baseball badly to keep his self-esteem high.




He sounds a lot like my son who has Asberger's Syndrome (very mild autism). Most children with this diagnosis are usually not athletic. My son is 12 and is a very good student. He likes video games, computers and action figures. I would not worry at all about sports as long as he gets exercise and plays well with others.

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#361859 - 07/07/05 02:43 PM Re: Non-athletic child
UKcatsFan Offline
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Posts: 141
Anywhere but here
Quote:

Just my opinions:

Do I see value in organized sports? Yes, definitely. Is it the most important thing in a kids life? No way!




They were the MOST important thing in my life as a kid. My dad pushed the hell out of me, and now that I'm grown and have had a chance to read through this thread and think about that, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I'm so glad he did it the way he did. I'm the successful, competitive person I am today becuase of him. Just my 2 cents.
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#361860 - 07/07/05 02:53 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

I think your ex-husband is concerned that play a sport for several of it's benefits, not just that 'that's what little boys do' kind of mentality.

Team sports teach kids to be a team player. It's not with his parents, who no offense, are probably boring and annoying to him (mine were to me). It's with kids he might not meet at school. Playing a sport gives him excercise. Many different types of excercise reduce his risk of injury (repetivive motion injuries).

If he truly hates baseball move onto the next thing. Present him with a list of activities you've prescreened and tell him to pick. It will make him feel like he's in control of some part of his life and teach him about responsibility. (He chose to make a commitement tot a team and now must follow through.)

I had a VERY structured childhood and I've got to tell you, it's a pain sometimes. With so many households being single parents or both parents working you need him somewhere safe and constructive, but he needs a little time to just be a kid and hang out. I was always so busy as a kid too that I didn't have much time to make friends. My straight A's didn't help either because I was labled a nerd.

Give him some choices and a little less structure.

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#361861 - 07/07/05 04:54 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Pup Offline
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Pedaling along a scenic highwa...
My kids will always have the choice to play. Once they begin a season, they cannot quit, whether they like it or not. Once they've completed the season, they don't ever have to play it again, but it was their choice. My daughter has tried t-ball and soccer and is now a volleyball player. She really loves it and it has only helped her mentality overall. She has always been a straight A student and a little too stressed out about maintaining that at a VERY early age (now 11), but things like volleyball help her to take the focus off herself and put it on the team concept. I will never force my kids to play sports, but I will always encourage it for the its inherent value.
Last edited by Fraud Pup; 07/07/05 05:13 PM.
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#361862 - 07/07/05 07:56 PM Re: Non-athletic child
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
Quote:

Many different types of excercise reduce his risk of injury (repetivive motion injuries).




Not aware of many 11 year old kids with repetitive motion injuries. I am aware of many that have been beaned with a baseball, broken bones from tennis, basketball, football, concussions from soccer, cuts and bruises from hocket, the list could go on. That is a very bizarre arguement you have made.
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#361863 - 07/07/05 08:37 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

Quote:

Many different types of excercise reduce his risk of injury (repetivive motion injuries).




Not aware of many 11 year old kids with repetitive motion injuries. I am aware of many that have been beaned with a baseball, broken bones from tennis, basketball, football, concussions from soccer, cuts and bruises from hocket, the list could go on. That is a very bizarre arguement you have made.




It's a relativly new occurance so I'm surprised you haven't heard of it. My orthopedic surgeon is director of the department at a Boston hospital and has done extensive research on the subject. These days kids tend to find one activity and stick with it (sometimes because parents envision them the next Tom Brady, Manny Ramirez etc...). Besides the usual injuries of getting beaned in the head more and more kids are showing stress fractures or even torn ACL's. Their bodies are at an age where they need a variety of muscle groups worked, not just their shoulder for baseball... For example, swimming is a non-impact excercise. Kids who only swim risk more bone injuries or developmental differences later on in life because, while everyone needs some bone impact, kids need it more to stimulate bone growth and create bone density. One muscle group becomes over developed (or another is just under developed). This can cause things like (in me) Patella Femoral Syndrome. My kneecap doesn't track right (among other things) because my quadracep was over developed in ballet. It came to a head when I didn't correctly place my foot during a jump, my hamstrig couldn't support my weight and the impact I was placing on my leg, and my kneecap completely snapped out of place. I felt, there was a loud crack and I couldn't walk. I was fortunate not to tear my ACL. I was 10.

My point is - well rounded excercise helps a childs body grow and develop normally. The best way to do that is have them participate in a variety of sports.

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#361864 - 07/07/05 09:59 PM Re: Non-athletic child
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
yes, but you miss my point. By the age of 11? Repetitive motion? Please...They haven't had time to develop repetitive injuries. Love to see those researches you mention. Give me a link.
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#361865 - 07/07/05 10:23 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Pup Offline
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Pedaling along a scenic highwa...
Happy, by age 11, gymnasts, for example, have been at it for YEARS. Also, rounding out this type of exercise, as outlined two posts above, helps the body later in life because of the foundation.

Also in the same post, anon outlined that his/her patella was messed up because of this at age 10.

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#361866 - 07/08/05 07:10 AM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

When I was reading about Gange of the Dodgers maybe getting Tommy John Surgery I ran across several stories about how there has been a spike in young kids getting it done.

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#361867 - 07/08/05 01:34 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

yes, but you miss my point. By the age of 11? Repetitive motion? Please...They haven't had time to develop repetitive injuries. Love to see those researches you mention. Give me a link.




As I said, my injury was at 10 years old. Last I checked 10 came before 11 so yes, it is possible to have repetitive motion injuries at 11. I did ballet for 5 years 3-4 days a week for 2-3 hours at a time. I did it that much because I loved it and at the time it wasn't known the effects 1 sport could have on a young child. My continued problems with my knee (and other joints) can all be traced back to this. Dr. Micheli is based out of Children's Hospital but works with children and adults. Many of his adult paitents, like me, have been with him since childhood. One of his interests is finding out how to keep childhood injuries from effecting the person later in life, again, like in me.

I discussed his research with him in person after reading some articles in the waiting room so I don't have a specific link to his papers. Here is one to his website, http://www.lylemichelimd.com/. I'm not sure how long each research study stays on there. The Boston Globe has also regularly consulted him so you might try searching their archives as well.

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#361868 - 07/08/05 02:07 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Going Crazy Offline
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Posts: 50
New England
By the time I reached 10 years old, I had been in gymnastics for 6 years, 5 days a week, 4 hours a day, plus meets on the weekends. You tell me that repetetive motion injuries aren't possible.
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#361869 - 07/08/05 02:32 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Inquisitor / Sommelier Omega Offline
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A Grant Wood painting.
My daughter will be playing school basketball (7th grade) and club basketball. She likes to ride, but does not have an interest in any other sport at this point. I do not want her to concentrate on just one sport but I can't make her pick another one. She will have a chance to play volley ball this year, but how different is that from a repetivive motion perspective?

My son will be in 4th grade. He has just finished his first real year in baseball. He also plays basktball and football, and roller blades everywhere. There are some real differencs in these activities.

The real issue is teaching kids to listen to thier bodies and make sure that the coaches have the best interests of the kids in mind. A good coach will not allow a kid to hurt themselves.
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#361870 - 07/08/05 02:42 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Pup Offline
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Pedaling along a scenic highwa...
Omega, off the cuff I'd say that basketball is one of those activities that really works the whole body, arms, legs, hips, abs, cardio..because of the speed of the game and the cutting and running along with the shooting. Volleyball is a bit more of sit-still and react quickly type of game...a bit like being a goalie in soccer but much more concentrated because of the quickness of the game and the speed of the ball. If she becomes a hitter, it'll be a bit more like tennis or baseball/softball. I played volleyball and softball back to back while in Germany. By the time softball rolled around, I had already thrown out my arm. Rotator cuff injuries are something to watch for in volleyball.

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#361871 - 07/08/05 03:56 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

When I played basketball they ran us and ran us and ran us. I was in the best shape of my life. I never played soccer, but it is similar in getting a person in shape. You have to run and run and run.

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#361872 - 07/08/05 04:10 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Inquisitor / Sommelier Omega Offline
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Posts: 1,357
A Grant Wood painting.
We have a Division III basketball coach in the family. He tells me that kids should not specialize. If they want to be a great basketball player, play other sports too. Volleyball will help w/ quickness and eye/hand. Football will help w/ quickness and eye/hand. Wrestling / Soccer / Football. Each sport offers something to gain for the other.
Golf will teach a child to deal with frustration.
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#361873 - 07/08/05 04:27 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Pup Offline
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Pup
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Pedaling along a scenic highwa...
Excellent point, Omega. I never was all-state at any sport, but I was pretty good at everything I tried and I enjoy playing pretty much everything still. I used to envy the kids who went to the Wrestling camps, but now that I'm over not winning state, I'm over it. LOL.

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#361874 - 07/16/05 11:29 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

I don't have an answer to Devil Queen's situation, but I thought of this thread after I read this:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/more/07/15/bc.bbo.youngplayerhurt.ap/index.html

I'm sure organized sports play a great role in the develpment of some children, but idiots such as this coach make me sick.

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#361875 - 07/20/05 07:21 PM Re: Non-athletic child
Anonymous
Unregistered

Our neighbor is a 9 year old geek (already.) We RARELY see him in the summer when my girls are out in the yard playing or riding their bikes. His mom says he is inside playing video games or watching TV. On the rare occasions he comes over to play with my girls, we often find him in our refrigerator or cabinets looking for snacks.

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#361876 - 07/20/05 07:41 PM Re: Non-athletic child
CRAatBOK Offline

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Further South than I wanna be.
I am pasting this story here because you have to sign in to read it on line. I think it says a lot.

Posted on Mon, Jul. 18, 2005




In My Opinion


A father's homophobia turned deadly

Leonard Pitts Jr.


Ronnie Paris and I had the same father.

At least, that's the way it felt reading the news reports out of Tampa last week. They told of how Ronnie's dad -- his name is also Ronnie Paris -- used to hit the boy, throw him around, bang him up. According to testimony from the man's wife and sister-in-law, he did this to toughen the boy up, make a man out of him. Paris' fear was that, otherwise, his son would grow up to be ''soft,'' a ``sissy.''

Or gay.

There are only three differences between this little boy's experience and mine.

One, the word ''gay'' wasn't a common synonym for homosexual when I was a child. My dad's word was ''punk,'' which meant the same thing.

Two, in all fairness to my old man, he was nowhere near as harsh to me as Ronnie Paris was to his son. My dad never left me with broken bones, internal bruising or brain swelling.

The third difference is the most important. I am alive. Little Ronnie Paris is not. He died on Jan. 28, 3 years old.

Last week, a Tampa jury found the toddler's 21-year-old father guilty of second-degree manslaughter and aggravated child abuse.

Afterward, Ronald Paris Sr. -- father of the killer, grandfather of the victim -- protested his own blamelessness to a reporter from The Tampa Tribune. ''I raised my son in the right way,'' he said. ``We played football, went fishing, went to wrestling matches, boxing, all that.''

It's one of those ''Lord, give me strength'' quotes, because it manages to be earnest, self-justifying and clueless all at the same time. To put it another way, it's telling what the eldest Ronald Paris doesn't say about raising his boy right.

He doesn't say he ever talked to him. Doesn't say he ever hugged him. Doesn't say he ever taught him.

BEING A MAN

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with fishing, football and other ''manly'' pursuits.

But while you're tossing the pigskin around, maybe you should explain to a son that the measure of a man is more than the ability to summon or endure violence. And the strength of a man has to include the strength to be tender sometimes, especially when confronted with a tiny life that looks to you for protection and guidance.

Maybe it's not too much to ask also that a father teach his son that ''gay'' is not something you can knock out of a child. Nor should you want to.

A story by way of illustration. I have a younger brother. By the time he was a toddler, my father had given up on me, resigned himself that his bookish and unathletic oldest child was doomed to punkdom.

So Dad decided he would save my brother from that fate. He took him under his wing and taught him every manly heterosexual art and vice he could.

I'll give you one guess which of my father's sons went to the gay pride beach party a few years back.

It's probably a sign of God's mercy that our father did not live long enough to learn.

SAD TWISTS OF FATE

Too bad there wasn't a little mercy for the youngest Ronnie Paris. Too bad his mother -- now facing charges of felony child neglect -- did not call authorities. Too bad the state, which took the child out of the home in 2002, did not leave him with the foster mother who loved him. Too bad he was returned to his birth parents in mid-December.

Too bad he was in a coma by Jan. 22.

It is said the Parises could not wake him that day after he fell asleep on the couch in a neighbor's home. His folks had gone there for Bible study. Apparently, ''Thou shalt not kill'' was not among the verses on the agenda.

Maybe you can tell that I take this one personally. It's hard not to. Ronnie Paris was terrified his child would grow up gay. Now the boy won't grow up at all.

And I'm left to choke on the irony. Paris thought he was going to teach his boy how to be a man when clearly, he didn't know himself.
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