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#364757 - 05/27/05 03:37 PM
Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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What is happening to bankers? UNION BEACH, N.J. -- An off-duty police officer out for a jog fought off a sexual assault from a naked man who jumped out of the woods wearing only a condom, police said. John Dee Kelly, 39, of Jersey City, surrendered to Union Beach police Thursday, eight days after authorities issued a warrant for his arrest on charges of attempted sexual assault and lewdness. Authorities said he works as a vice president for Chase in New York. WNBC
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#364758 - 05/27/05 03:38 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Kind of appropriate that he works for CHASE.
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#364759 - 05/27/05 03:55 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Well, P .. uh, X .... uh, Paragon .... uh, Ray .... or is it John? Anyway, whatever name you go by these days, I knew you would be caught someday.  I hope they lock you up and throw away the key. 
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#364762 - 05/27/05 06:40 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
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I bet the guy didn't have good ASSets.
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#364763 - 05/27/05 07:12 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Maybe he didn't get the kind of "raise" he was looking for at work.
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#364764 - 05/27/05 07:32 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
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somewhere out there
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You guys are hilarious.
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it ain't over til it's over...
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#364765 - 05/27/05 07:36 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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10K Club
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Turnpike Exit 10
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Now I know why the Brits call it "twig and berries"...
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#364766 - 05/27/05 07:49 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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At least as a banker he was going to be smart enough to practice "safe" sex!
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#364767 - 05/27/05 08:03 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Maybe Chase was trying to "downsize" him and all he wanted was "upward" movement.
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#364768 - 05/27/05 08:05 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Jul 2002
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New Jersey
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Now he's at the mercy of the penal system.
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#364770 - 05/27/05 08:11 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Wonder how his "staff" is taking the news.
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#364771 - 05/27/05 08:15 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Kennel
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Probably tired of people Poking fun at them.
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#364773 - 05/27/05 08:21 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Quote:
Wonder how his "staff" is taking the news.
I bet they are all just trying to cover their heads.
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#364774 - 05/27/05 08:21 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,990
Cincinnati, OH
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#364775 - 05/27/05 08:24 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Kennel
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Keeping a "Stiff" upper lip!!
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#364776 - 05/27/05 08:25 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
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Posts: 5,568
New Jersey
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This was taking "full disclosure" a little too far, don't you think?
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Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. Peter Drucker
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#364777 - 05/27/05 08:28 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
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Kennel
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I guess he needs to update his "Privacy Disclosures".
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#364778 - 05/27/05 08:28 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Do you think he will be the topic of conversation at the next company ball?
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#364779 - 05/27/05 08:30 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,030
somewhere out there
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I just don't get why he was naked wearing a condom. You have to be a "certain way" to get those to stay on.(if you know what I mean) Right? Was he with someone or by himself? And if he was by him self, why did he need one? And if he was with someone, where were they during all this? I know so many questions. I don't have access to the article here at work.
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it ain't over til it's over...
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#364780 - 05/27/05 08:31 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Quote:
This was taking "full disclosure" a little too far, don't you think?
At least he was well protected.
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#364781 - 05/27/05 08:36 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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He must have been in the BSA area, the condom shows his first priority was to " reduce risk "
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#364782 - 05/27/05 08:38 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
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Kennel
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No way, must have been Human Resources - looking for openings.
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#364784 - 05/27/05 08:40 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
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Posts: 2,659
Kennel
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Maybe he was in the trees looking for a WOODchuck.
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#364786 - 05/27/05 08:48 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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perhaps he wanted to offer her an ‘extension’ of credit
or maybe he was in the bushes contemplating the merits of regulation ‘O’ (as in O!, O!, O!, for those of you that have seen the movie ‘Office Space’)
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#364787 - 05/27/05 08:49 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,659
Kennel
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And Reg DD
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#364788 - 05/27/05 08:55 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,626
State of confusion
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Come on now, give him a break. He was working very HARD and trying to COVER the banks ASSETTS.
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#364789 - 05/27/05 08:56 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
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All over the map.
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Sounds to me like he was just having a hard day...
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#364790 - 05/27/05 09:00 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
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Posts: 5,568
New Jersey
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Perhaps he was doing penetration testing.
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Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. Peter Drucker
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#364791 - 05/27/05 09:02 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,659
Kennel
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Well, he could not Ping the firewall from there!!
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#364792 - 05/27/05 09:12 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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was he looking for open ended credit?
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#364797 - 05/28/05 01:41 AM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,172
Further South than I wanna be.
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Steve H & DQ, Is this some of the sight seeing things from NJ?
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#364800 - 05/28/05 09:03 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
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Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
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Quote:
Quote:
Steve H & DQ, Is this some of the sight seeing things from NJ?
Yup! It's why picture-taking is not allowed on the NJT.
Steve - you are from NJ, so are you a VP with Chase in New York? Hmmmm......
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#364802 - 05/31/05 11:08 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,172
Further South than I wanna be.
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DQ, looks like you dad is imitating your likeness.
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#364803 - 05/31/05 11:31 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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100 Club
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 128
California
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I sooooo needed this thread this afternoon! My goodness all the creative spirit here.
I really think he just needs to keep holding his head up high, and move forward. I wonder if he got laid off, and got confused at the terminolgy?
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#364805 - 06/01/05 12:11 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Quote:
Quote:
DQ, looks like you dad is imitating your likeness.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
DQ, you gotta admit, he is clever.
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#364806 - 06/01/05 12:22 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
DQ, looks like you dad is imitating your likeness.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
DQ, you gotta admit, he is clever.
...and you are nude. Ever work at Chase?
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#364809 - 06/01/05 04:50 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,275
Quadrupletville, Texas
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Devil Queen, looks like X has you hanging from the gallows!
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#364810 - 06/01/05 04:55 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,719
PA
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#364812 - 06/01/05 05:16 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Must have alot alot alot of times on his hands to come up with all those pics and stories. I think he loves ya DQ-he won't leave you alone.
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#364813 - 06/01/05 05:19 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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DQ & X sitting in a tree. K I S S I N G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a little demon in a baby carriage.
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#364814 - 06/01/05 05:21 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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shhhh he's a working bee!
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#364815 - 06/01/05 05:27 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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10K Club
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#364821 - 06/01/05 06:31 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Turnpike Exit 10
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#364822 - 06/01/05 06:36 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,172
Further South than I wanna be.
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Hmmmmmmm
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#364823 - 06/01/05 06:40 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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I thought myself that was a love handle you had around DQ- in hopes of roping her into your arms-  Yes no body can say you are not "gifted"- but where are your brains and why are you sitting on them... 
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#364824 - 06/01/05 08:34 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Anonymous
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Quote:
Of course, not me as I'm more like paragon - simply gifted.
Your multiple personalities are getting confused. There is a very big difference between gifted and insane.
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#364826 - 06/01/05 09:39 PM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,172
Further South than I wanna be.
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Who's Barbara Hurst?
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#364827 - 06/02/05 01:57 AM
Re: Nude Chase Bank VP Jumps From Woods At Woman
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 5,063
Pennsylvania
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Quote:
Who's Barbara Hurst?
Sorry, she is the executive editor of Bankers Hotline - if you have any of their training videos you would know her. She also puts on the Security Officer Workshop in Philadelphia. Wonderful lady.
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