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#400342 - 08/10/05 11:13 PM Re: Can men really change?
rainman Offline
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rainman
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,237
Forgiving him doesn't necessarily mean staying with him.

Forgiving him would be good for both of you; it'll help you to let go and it may help him to change. But even if you forgive him, you need to understand that a change like this is very difficult and (if it comes) may only come over a long period of time. Just because you forgive him (if you do) doesn't mean it's a good idea to be together.

Violence (by either of you) is never a solution to any relationship problem or argument, and it sounds like you both need to get beyond that point before you can safely be together.
Last edited by rainman; 08/11/05 03:30 PM.
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#400343 - 08/10/05 11:58 PM Re: Can men really change?
HRH Dawnie Offline
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HRH Dawnie
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,353
Anchorage Alaska
Call a local abuse shelter. (Much like that link I gave you...or even call them and they'll help you find something in your area).

You need a specilist in the abuse arena and they are the folks to provide it. They provide these services FREE OF CHARGE for victims, not just shelter residents, but all victims of abuse. I would not frankly go to a church or anyone else. You don't want to end up with someone who does not understand the situation you're in throughly. (go ahead flame me people but abuse is a special subject that needs training specifically).

They will help you anon, and for no cost if you can't afford it. Good luck!
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#400344 - 08/11/05 04:25 PM Re: Can men really change?
Nanwa Offline
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Nanwa
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 5,564
Clintonville, WI, USA
Dawnie is right. You need to talk to someone who is trained to help and do it now. Don't wait around for it to happen again. Cause there is no reason for him to stop.
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#400345 - 08/11/05 05:46 PM Re: Can men really change?
Carly Girl Offline
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,778
TEXAS
Just a word of encouragement: I am single mother as well, however, I have three children to care for. I have been raising them on my own now for 10 years. No, it isnt easy, yes, there are sacrifices that you have to make, but that's because you love them more than life itself. If I can do this, you can too. Good luck to you.
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#400346 - 08/18/05 02:27 AM Re: Can men really change?
Anonymous
Unregistered

Why do women seem to always expect men to change? Do women ever change?

To me it makes no difference: You are either a good person or you are not!

Men who are abusive will not change and neither will women.

For either sex in a relationship like this it is best to end and move on.

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#400347 - 08/18/05 12:53 PM Re: Can men really change?
Kansayaku Offline
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,454
metsuretsu
Quote:

My son is never around when this has happened. Our son was and is very important to us. We have explained to him that we didn't work out and that's why we don't live together. We also try to continue being friends for his sake. He provides financial support with you could call it child support to this day. He has helped with bills I couldn't pay either. He's not a bad guy and he is trying to change but, I just don't know if I can forgive. That's what I am asking should I forgive and beleive he wants to change. Then give him a chance once I think he has.




1. Children realize more than you can imagine.

2. Forgiving someone is wonderful (when possible), but the trust that is lost doesn't just come back.

3. PM me if you want to talk.
Last edited by Kansayaku; 08/18/05 01:11 PM.
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