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#410010 - 08/18/05 02:14 PM how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
Unregistered

Hey, my boy (thats my pet name for my husband, sort of princess bride-esque) has been so stressed lately and I can't get him to chill. I'd actually be releived to come home and find him on the recliner drinking a beer and "reading" porn. Poor guy won't take any time for himself. What should I do?

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#410011 - 08/18/05 02:23 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Kansayaku Offline
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,454
metsuretsu
Hard to say without knowing him and what he is stressed about, what he really enjoys, and how far you are willing to go.
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#410012 - 08/18/05 02:34 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
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Um, tried that, only works for a short time. He loves to play guitar, but wont lately. He loves just sitting and listening to music, but can't sit still lately. He's just go go go. He's got bills to pay, yard work to do, etc. Some of the things on his "list" arn't neccissary but he thinks they are. He's obsessed with getting everything on his list crossed off, even though he knows the well known fact that "to do lists" by their own nature will ALWAYS have somthing on them, even when you die. So, any guys have some feedback on this?

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#410013 - 08/18/05 02:59 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Bengals Fan Offline
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,990
Cincinnati, OH
Pixie,

If he writes down his list, try to get home before him and get a few of the items checked off.

If he likes football, ask him to watch the game with you and explain it to you. Unless you are the rare football fanatic gal or he is a rare could care less about football guy, he'll enjoy this.

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#410014 - 08/18/05 03:08 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
Unregistered

yes, he does like to explain football to me, but it's not the season yet, is it?

One thing is I have a strong independant personality, thats just me. But he really needs to be needed, you know, needs to be my "man" and feels like I don't need him because I'm so self sufficiant. But thats not true, I do need him and depend on him. How can I show him that? Maybe this is all a needing to be needed and productive thing? I don't know. Oh, and he wont let me do the things on his list. (he needs to know that they get done, um,..right, hows that for control freak?)

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#410015 - 08/18/05 03:42 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Raiderette Offline
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Raiderette
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,316
New Mexico
break a light bulb, and ask him to replace it for you. Tell him that you don't want to get cut. It's small, but maybe he'll see that you need him, even for the small things he knows you can do.
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#410016 - 08/18/05 04:37 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Bankster Offline
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,181
Yinzerville, PA
There is no better stress buster than a few beers and a roll-in-the-hay. Go out for a few drinks and flirt with him like you are a new couple. Then find somewhere adventurous to....you know. A little excitement/adventure might get him out of his rut.

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#410017 - 08/18/05 04:46 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Nanwa Offline
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Nanwa
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 5,564
Clintonville, WI, USA
I read thru this kind of quickly, so forgive me if I missed this but...have you sat down and asked if anything is bothering him? Work, friends, something he thinks you may have done? Because if something is bothering him, maybe just your reassurance that all is OK, we can get thru this together, you don't need to take it all on yourself, etc. can help. Verbalizing sometimes can help.

And maybe he doesn't realize that his actions are so noticable.
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#410018 - 08/18/05 05:04 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Hrothgar Geiger Offline
10K Club
Hrothgar Geiger
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,395
Jersey Shore
Extending what Nanwa has said, I'd guess something else is going on. Personally, when 'the dark' starts to creep in, I get restless and stop listening to music.

Sweating it out;running, hitting the heavy bag, dirty,sweaty physical labor helps, stuff like that helps. If there's a martial arts seminar nearby, my sweetie will hint heavily that I have permission to head on out for the weekend to play with my friends...

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#410019 - 08/18/05 05:41 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
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Ya, theres somthing the matter and I know what it is. We were raised in a cult and are in the process of leaving and when you are in somthing like that, you only hang with your "brothers" if you know what I mean. So we are losing all our friends and some family and having to start from scratch. (intence, right) So he has every reason to be stressed, but I know just taking care of himself, doing things he loves, would do a world of good. It's helping me a lot. I'm doing well with the transition and he's a little jealous, because he's not. He thinks I'm a little cold and un-human to not be greaving the loss. I see it not as an end, but a new beginning.

taking him out drinking is a good idea, he loves beer and, it's the cutest thing, after 3 years of marraige he still thinks the straps of my tank top "accidently" fall off my sholder when I laugh, he is so shocked when I tell him I was flirting. Duh!

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#410020 - 08/18/05 06:10 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
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Ha! freaked everyone out with that one, didn't I. Am I seriously the only ex-cult member on BOL? I find that hard to beleive (snicker)

But seriously, back to the boy, what other types of things do guys like to do (along the lines of the changing the bulb suggestion) for their women that make them feel needed. (and keep it clean )

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#410021 - 08/18/05 06:11 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Bengals Fan Offline
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Cincinnati, OH
Whatever you do, don't ask him to get you feminine products!

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#410022 - 08/18/05 06:19 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
D2Xs Offline
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D2Xs
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Go camping. Seriously, go camping in a tent with limited human contact other than yourselves. Go some place a distance away and go for at least 3 day more if you can. It will help get his mind off everything. And if he can relax during that time when coming back it might not seem too bad. It becomes a vacation from everyday life and we all need that once in a while. Your in WI so go to the BWCA. It's very peaceful up there.
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#410023 - 08/18/05 06:21 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Kansayaku Offline
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,454
metsuretsu
Try anything involving the auto, that is if he can deal with that kind of stuff.
_________________________
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#410024 - 08/18/05 06:22 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
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D2X, what is BWCA?

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#410025 - 08/18/05 06:24 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
D2Xs Offline
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D2Xs
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,706
Boundary Waters Canoe Area. It's in the arrowhead region of MN.
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Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

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#410026 - 08/18/05 06:27 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
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like, above Duluth?

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#410027 - 08/18/05 06:30 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
D2Xs Offline
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D2Xs
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Yes, do you know where Grand Marais is?

Here is a link BWCA
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#410028 - 08/18/05 06:34 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
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sweet! thanks, that looks beautiful!

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#410029 - 08/18/05 06:39 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
D2Xs Offline
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D2Xs
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I gone there before and it is awesome. You can camp at sites where your car is 50 feet away or go hardcore and portage in for a day or more and have no outside contact. It is very important to have a good map which you can get at the ranger's station. It can be confusing otherwise. Also it's so big that you might not ever run into another camper depending where you go.
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Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

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#410030 - 08/18/05 08:39 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
RR Sarah Offline
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RR Sarah
Joined: Mar 2004
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Up North
D2X, is the fire still burning in the BWCA? I would check accessibility before I made plans to go this year.
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#410031 - 08/18/05 09:31 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
D2Xs Offline
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D2Xs
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They say it is almost out but it isn't they whole area.
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Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

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#410032 - 08/19/05 02:53 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Anonymous
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Camping? Yugh.. why not take a "romatic getaway"? Camping is a lot of work & depresses me. Unless you're really outdoorsy people, I'd think this one through first.

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#410033 - 08/19/05 03:10 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Bengals Fan Offline
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Cincinnati, OH
Quote:

Camping? Yugh.. why not take a "romatic getaway"? Camping is a lot of work & depresses me. Unless you're really outdoorsy people, I'd think this one through first.




Guys relax outdoors, not with romantic getaways.

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#410034 - 08/19/05 03:28 PM Re: how to make your guy relax
Pup Offline
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Pedaling along a scenic highwa...
I, personally, enjoy romantic getaways. I'm not an icredibly outdoorsy person. Although, take me on a mountain biking trip or to an NFL game, and you've won me over.

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